Happiness

I remember being happy. Yes, despite appearances, I really do! It wasn't so long ago in fact.

When opportunities to be happy come along you really have to capture every second, grab them with both hands and don't let go. Sadly when just such an opportunity came along for me, both my hands were busy clutching onto my new man as he drove at breakneck speed down the highway. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a bit of speed as much as the next woman, and I certainly have no regrets to holding on to a warm hunk of man either. But I just didn't realise how great life was then. I didn't spend the time to really embrace it.

I remember the thrill of the speed. I remember the quick turns his head made simply to look at me. In those brief milliseconds his coal grey eyes seemed to light up. I could have gazed into their depths for hours. I remember resting my head against his chest, listening to the slow beat of his heart. He is always calm when driving, even at speed. He belongs behind a wheel.

I remember the cool touch of his black leather jacket. He's barely taken it off since opening it. It was a wedding present from 'the boys' as they are collectively known. It still has traces of that new leather smell, but already the unique smell that is just 'him' is becoming dominant. An intoxicating scent, somehow as cool as he is but also more wild, more dangerous.

I remember what my hands were doing, that's nice and clear. As I mentioned, I was clinging to him with my arms underneath the leather to feel the warmth of his chest. It made me feel safer than I've ever felt. He could have driven that car straight off a cliff and I would have felt perfectly safe right up until we hit the ground.

Heh, not many know but he is very ticklish around his ribs, and I mean very! A gentle movement of my hands will cause a grin; a little more and that grin becomes a laugh that reduces him to an 8 year old naughty-schoolboy in seconds. A face full of complete innocence, of happiness so endearing I just want to wrap him up and mother him, but also somehow sets my heart aflame with longing. I don't indulge whilst he's driving.

You might think those memories sound pretty complete, and detailed. Bright with colour. But they're not to me. They're but a drop of water to a dying man in a desert. Where were we going? Whose car was it? What was I wearing? What colour was his hair? What was the weather like? Endless questions, endless details have all faded now. Erased like a blackboard, the very second the other car hit.

The doctors say it was a miracle I wasn't hurt. Not even a scratch. But they don't realise what's been torn away. What I've lost, never to regain.

When happiness finds you - grab it with both hands!

Words : 513

EDIT: 17/03/2015 Minor edits added based on crits.