UNTITLED

The bustle and rustle of late autumn always left Violet breathless this time around.  Swiftly, the strangers passed her by as she walked in the midst of a multitude of people.  She wondered how it was remotely possible to feel so alone in such a crowded city.  She lived in a big city, with many friends, and family who loved her, but still, she could not find comfort, true relationships with these people.  She felt so alone, so cold, and disconnected from the rest of the world.  Violet hurriedly hailed a taxi and as it stopped, she took hold of the door handle and quickly got in. 

Thud.  She entered the cab to the strong, toxic smell of tobacco and old leather seats.

         “Where to miss?”  asked the rugged cab driver who seemed quite irritated after having waited for Violet to acknowledge him.

         “55th and 6th please.” gasped Violet as she slowly rolled down the window manually as it was a quite outdated car.  Fresh air, finally.  Within those few moments, the cab driver had lighted a cigarette, and Violet coughed robustly.  She began to open her day planner. 

                   9AM grab coffee, get a ride to 55th and 6th

                   1030AM go to office, meeting, make lunch order

                   230PM call Nancy about Tuesday afternoon, call Todd to cancel dinner

                   6PM leave work, pick up Blair, ride home

                   7PM make dinner (or order!)

                   9PM get Blair to sleep, do office work

There.  She finished scrawling notes on her planner.  This was the daily routine.  She never lived without strict and stern plans, exact times, detailed aspects of her life were always planned meticulously.  Finally, the cab came to an abrupt stop and Violet lurched forward, grabbing the grimy headrest of the passenger seat.

         “That’ll be Fourteen-seventy-five please miss.” murmured the driver as he seemed to already be eyeing his next victim two streets over standing with their flask in one hand and briefcase in the other waiting.

         “Keep the change.”  she shoved a twenty into his hand and got out of the car.  Violet walked swiftly and threw some change to a nearby kiosk selling daisies.  Ah… This was her favorite time of the day.  Violet opened the gate and walked down the pathway of the openly airy lot.  She walked further.  Finally, reaching him. 

         “Good morning, I brought you my favorite, a white gerbera daisy.  Aren’t you feeling a little chilly out here?”  There was a momentary silence and then she began again as a warm smile spread over her face.  “I couldn’t sleep again last night; it’s just so hard without you there.  Why won’t you come visit me sometimes?  I miss you.”  Violet stood in that very precise spot for a long interlude until she finally said her goodbyes.  “Well, I’ll try to come again tomorrow, have a good day.  I love you.”  And then, she began to walk away from the charcoal engraved tombstone, out the same way that she entered.  She could not even bring herself to say his name anymore.  It was virtually unbearable.  He was the one that made her feel full, and the one that made her feel empty, well at least empty now that he was gone.  He was gone forever.

She walked down the street and into her office, but Violet could simply not concentrate today.  She was feeling rather dizzy, and faint, but decided to be a trekker and withstand the day until she got home, or maybe she would leave for work early.  Just as she entered the elevator, Violet grasped the handlebar on the side for support.  Ding!  She walked inch by inch out of the elevator door…Boom. 

         Suddenly she crashed to the floor and from the back of her head, Violet could hear the buzzing of people around her, but she was not fully conscious at that moment.  She began to fall deeper and deeper into a comatose and drifted into another world. 

         Violet suddenly woke in her own bed with a brutal headache.  She leaned her head forward and looked at the clock.  8AM. Oh no!  She was late for work.  Perhaps if she brushed her teeth threw on her clothes and skipped breakfast there would still be time left, thought Violet.  But something was awkward about today.  She could smell fresh sausages running through the warm air and a sizzle of the pan as a faint but familiar whistling to Moon River was heard from below the stairs.  Violet darted down, and tripped over the last two steps.  She quickly sprang up, pulled her shirt down, unwrinkled the creases, and peeked into the kitchen.  She stopped breathing for what seemed like ages; it was him.

         “Morning beautiful, I made breakfast.”  said the familiar stranger with a warm smile over his face.  It was the smile she loved, and never, ever forgot. 

         “E..E-e-..Ethan??  But..How..?  You’re not … alive??”  Fumbled Violet as she ran up to him and touched his face, trying to make sense of this all.  “I’m dead aren’t I?  I mean, how else…Am I dead? or is this a dream?”

         “Darling, it’s neither.  I’m just here.  You wanted me here didn’t you??”  chuckled Ethan as he flipped the sausage and plated the pancakes.

         “Ethan!”  She grabbed him and squeezed so tightly as if she never wanted to lose him, again.  However, Violet knew that she already lost him.  Where was she?  What was this?  “Where are we?” she finally said out loud. 

         “Home, of course, where else?”  Again, he chuckled, walking Violet to the table as she could not stop staring at his beautifully exquisite face.  Finally, she ran out of the front yard and said hello the neighbors, but no reply.  Violet then ran in front of a passing car, and no reaction.  It was as though she was just a ghost in this world.  Then, Violet suddenly saw a car pull up into her driveway.  It was Audrey, with little Tristan in the backseat.  She took her spare key and went into the house, complete oblivious to Violet whom Audrey had just passed, and unaware of the food on the table, or Ethan who was at the table for that matter.  Buzz…Buzz…Buzz…Audrey’s phone was vibrating from the coffee table where she had left her keys and she ran to get it. 

         “Hello?  Yeah, Lucas.  Can you pick up Lucy from the nursery?  Yep.  I’ll have the groceries home, make sure you get that window fixed.  Mhm.  I’m just picking up a few of Violet’s things.  Yes, I know.  But what else am I supposed to do?  No, I’m not going to cut her off.  I can’t lose her.  Maybe if I surround her with the things she loves, she’ll wake up.  Yeah.  I’m going in to see her in a bit.  Kay, bye.  Love you.” 

         Violet was caught off guard by this very confusing conversation that Audrey had with Lucas over the phone.  But she was here.  Cut her OFF?  She stood at the door waiting for Audrey to come back down and followed her into the backseat. 

         “Ethan?  I’m going out for a bit.  Please stay here.  Don’t leave, alright?”  said Violet as she quickly ran back into the house and kissed Ethan. 

         “I’m here for you.”  replied Ethan with that same smile again, kissing Violet back.  Violet ran back into the car and sat next to her nephew Tristan.  He did not acknowledge her vocally, but he would occasionally stop and stare at her, then giggle.  Moments later, Violet was following her sister and nephew into the hospital.  Oh, how she disliked hospitals with a passion.  They were just always so full of melancholy and gloom.  Then, Audrey was stopped in the doorway by a doctor as Tristan sprinted into the room, with a huge smile over his face. 

         “Hello doctor.  How is she doing today?”  asked Audrey with an instant wave of worry over her face.

         “Well, everything seems to be fine, her heart is a little worked up, but we’re just waiting for her to wake up.” replied the doctor as he scratched his head and waved his hand, mumbling a few insignificant things Violet could not comprehend. 

         “How long do you think?” 

         “It’s hard to say.  We’ve had people wake up a week later, and others who have gone twenty years and still haven’t woken up.  It’s your decision if you want to keep waiting.  Some families end it because it is too painful waiting.  But some others hold such strong faith in their loved ones.”

         “Thanks doctor.” nodded Audrey as she dropped her head and walked into the room. 

         Violet’s eyes were beginning to water.  She had never seen her sister, her best friend with such a face of disdain and chagrin.  It was heartbreaking to know that Audrey was going through so much.  But, what was killing her most was, who was in that room?  Was it someone she loved too?  Violet walked slowly into the room, looking at her feet all the while.  Then, lifting her head as she reached the foot of the cream colored plastic border of the bed, Violet saw herself in that bed.  It was her.  What had happened?  Violet touched her own body, but she could not feel it.  Even as Audrey hugged Violet on the bed, she could not feel anything.  There was a moment of clarity as tears sprang from her eyes, the moment of realization.  She was dead.  Or at least her body was, and the only part of her that was holding her together was her heart.  Violet’s soul was in fact walking around, as her body was waiting for it to return.  Violet tried to place herself back into her body, but it was not adhering.  Her body, and her spirit, were now two separate things. 

         “Why didn’t you tell me!  I mean, you have the nerve to just walk back into my life, but not enough to tell me that it’s not even real!!?!?”  Demanded Violet as she opened her front door and shoved Ethan into the wall and moving closer to him.

         “Hon, you said you wanted me to come back.  I came back.  This is the only way you would ever see me, it’s not my fault.  I’ve missed you.  Why don’t you just want things to be like this?  I’ve missed you.  And I’m here for you.” comforted Ethan as he stroked Violet’s hair and seated her down on the couch.

         “I have missed you Eth, but I don’t want to see you like this.  I don’t want to live in this other world, not now at least.”  Sobbed Violet as she motioned Ethan to come sit beside her and hugged him.  She nestled her head into his shoulder the way she always did back when they were together.  It was as if everything was the way they always were.  The way her head fit perfectly in his chest and their bodies were perfectly molded for each other.

         Violet then spent the whole day with Ethan, as they talked about all of those things that he missed in her life, the day he left.  As much as it seemed worth it, to be in this alternate reality, she could not bear to leave everyone else behind, her life. 

         “Can we go back?  To that day before you left me, the day that we spent at the harbor…” fantasized Violet as she looked up at the ceiling smiling. 

         “We can do whatever you want V, now that we’re here, together.”