The Wonder Drug

word count:934
PROMPT: I would like a story about an unexpected side effect to a medication. It can be a good side effect or a bad one; it can give you talent or abilities you didn't have before or it could do something strange like turn your skin orange or whatever... tell what you were taking the medication for to begin with, how the side effect began to be noticed, what it caused, how you reacted, and how (or if) you were cured of these effects.


Ben Carson was what most people might call a hypochondriac. He always seemed to be suffering from one medical ailment or another. What most people didn’t know was that Ben was legitimately sick. All of his health issues had been documented by his physicians. The strange thing was, none of his conditions responded to conventional treatment. His doctors were baffled and frustrated. They could prove that he had, say, a staph infection. But the medications they prescribed did nothing to make the infection go away.

So Ben was at the end of his rope on the day that he saw the advertisement for the clinical trial in the newspaper.

*Quixar Pharmaceuticals is conducting a clinical trial for a new drug! Do you suffer from one or more of the following conditions: Acid reflux, Migraine Headaches, Post partum depression, Plantar’s Fasciitis, Kidney Stones, Arthritis, Male Pattern Baldness, Hypertension, or Glaucoma?*

Ben looked the ad over quickly with his good eye. “Maybe I should give these people a call,” he thought through the haze of an oncoming migraine. After all, with the exception of the Post Partum thing, Ben happened to be suffering from every single one of the listed ailments. He hobbled over to the phone and made the call.

The next Monday, Ben showed up at Quixar. He sat and watched a video explain how a blind clinical trial was conducted. He met with a physician who determined that he was perfect for the study. A psychologist briefly spoke to him to make sure that he was mentally prepared for whatever outcome he might receive. And then he signed a stack of papers that were meant to protect Quixar, in the event that something should go wrong.

When Ben left the Quixar Building, he had two things that he didn’t have before. Clutched in his gnarled hand was a bottle of pills that he would be taking daily for the next month. And in his heart, he felt a seed of optimism starting to grow. He knew that he was setting himself up for a let-down if he believed that this drug would be his cure all. But he just couldn’t help but think that, maybe, after so many failed treatments, this pill might be the miracle drug he was hoping for.

So Ben wasn’t terribly surprised when he got up on Wednesday morning and realized that he could walk to the bathroom without the feeling of knives shooting up from his feet. And, later that afternoon, he ate a taco that didn’t result in a raging case of heartburn.

As the days went by, Ben got better. His Glaucoma all but disappeared by the second week of the trial. He hadn’t dealt with one of his daily headaches in, well, days. His blood pressure was normal. And, even though it was too early to tell for sure, he swore that the hair that was coming back in on the top of his head was thicker and shinier than the hair that he used to have.

When it was time to go back to Quixar for his mid-trial exam, Ben was a new man! He could walk without his orthopedic boot, he could see where he was going, and he wasn’t out of breath when he got there! He could not wait to share the good news with the Quixar people.

Ben was playing with his new hair when the doctor and a man in a suit came out to fetch him. He followed as they led him into a paneled office rather than the examination room.

“Mr. Carson, this is our legal representative, Mr. Lewis. We have some papers for you to sign first, then we’ll examine you before we discuss your settlement.”

“Settlement?” Ben was not sure what was going on.

“Yes, Mr. Carson, we are prepared to make you an offer in the hopes of avoiding a drawn-out legal proceeding."

Ben didn’t say anything.

The doctor interjected “Would you mind telling us briefly what the worst of your side effects were?”

“Side Effects? I’m a cured man! I didn’t experience any side effects besides better health than I’ve had in years!”

The doctor and the lawyer looked at each other, puzzled.

“You haven’t had dizzy spells? Voices in your head?”

Ben nodded that he hadn’t.

“No loss of consciousness? Loss of memory? Loss of toes?”

“Nope.”

The doctor thought for a moment. “Maybe we should examine you first, and then come back to this paperwork.”

Mr. Lewis concurred.

The examination lasted longer than Ben thought it would. Specialists were brought in, his files were read and re read. The team of medical experts were at a loss. Why had this guy, and this guy only, escaped the horrendous side effects that every other pill taker had suffered? Why did this guy recover instead?
Ben waited out in the waiting room as they discussed the impact that Ben might have on the decision to market the drug after all.

“We need to do more tests on him. Find out what it is about him that made him respond so positively to the treatment. The drug worked great on Mr. Carson. Maybe there are more people like him out there that would benefit as well!"

Just then a pharmacist walked in and delivered to Mr. Lewis a folder containing Ben’s pharmacy records.

He opened the records and let out a gasp. “I hope this doesn’t mean what I think it means.”

But the other doctors looked, and they confirmed that it did.

Ben Carson was in the control group that was given a Placebo.