I am lost in your memory

Dealing with the death of my soul mate.

                                                                                  I am lost in your memory



I am lost in your memory; the emptiness of my soul haunts me each passing second. The memory of your eyes as I looked into them for the last time cuts so deep into the darkest past of my mind. Your scent fills my body when I think of you and remember your loving embrace. I grow weak when I know I can never hold you again in my arms. The anger spills out like a river that never ends. My ability to love is lost in your essence and the darkness takes over. The words I wanted to say before you were ripped away from me linger in my mind never finding a resting place. The times when I cannot go on, fall up on me without mercy and fill this empty shell with darkness. To go on seems pointless, but my love I will it is what you wanted. I cannot feel joy or happiness without you, the pain is too much for me to endure. But I will carry this pain masked from others who cannot understand the agony I feel each passing day. If my life ended this second I would welcome it with open arms knowing we would be together once again. I am broken beyond repair with no desire to recover the life I had before you came into my world. I exist in this hollow vessel day by day, moving forward with the outside illusion of “I m Ok”. I can never be Ok or anything close without your love to keep me going. There is a dark place we all go deep inside of our self, only to look back in fear. I do not fear any more, I welcome the darkness it lets me see what I have truly become without you.