Maintaining a Long Distance Relationship

Maintaining a relationship is hard enough when you live close by but what about when you are miles apart? I remember when my first love moved back home to Minnesota, 700 miles away from me. Although I would later follow, that year we spent apart was the hardest we ever faced. The biggest issue was jealousy, could he be trusted I wondered or would he get lonely and give in to another woman. Or would it be me that got lonely and gave in. I learned alot about myself that year and one of the biggest things was that my trusting him revolved around my own self confidence. Once I figured that out it was alot easier to maintain our relationship and while in the long run we did not end up living happily ever after, we did survive that year and went on to remain together for many more after that before parting ways. Some tips to help maintain your relationship over the miles are:

1. Be clear about expectations of the relationship. This will eliminate heartbreak down the road.
2. Trust your partner and understand that they are in the same situation as you. They too are wondering what you are doing and who you are doing it with.
3. Keep busy. The more you sit around and brood over your parther and what they are doing, the more likely you are to get jealous. Use the time to take up a new hobby, take a class, see a movie, or read a new book.
4. Make daily contact. A flirty text, a surprise letter, or a simple phone call to keep up on the day's events will all help you stay close.
5. Share together. Make plans to listen to the same music, read the same book, watch the same movie. This common ground will also give you more to talk about on the phone.
6. Visit at least once a month. It is better if you take turns visiting each other so that you can share experiences in both places. That way when he talks about going to a certain restaurant you can say "oh yeah, I remember that place" and reminisce about when you were there together.
7. Don't be afraid to try a little phone sex. While it may sound scary, once you try it, it can really help to maintain the spark. And if it doesn’t work, well you got a good laugh out of it together.
8. Talk about your future together. Sharing goals and discussing your future plans brings you closer.
9. Enjoy the downtime. In a way you have the best of both worlds, you have the one that loves you but the ability to go enjoy time with friends without feeling like you are taking time away from your partner.
10. Have an end in mind. While some long distance relationships have endured over time, most will not survive an eternity. Be clear on expectations of the future of the relationship and be ready to live up to it if your part involves moving.