Lost Love

The loneliness inside cuts like a knife. Where did all the love go that once made me so happy? Disappeared without a trace, invisible for my memory to recall. This feeling is overwhelming and taking over me. I'd almost prefer pain to this aching dullness that envelopes my life. Oh how I wish I could return to that moment when I first saw my love and stay there for eternity...

Right before my eyes she stood shining bright and hair flowing around her as she crossed the courtyard. I envied her ability to make friends so easily, which was what I lacked do to my anti-socialness. But I vowed to befriend her and become friends we soon did. I soon learned that this girl wasn't popular but just easygoing. Yet again another quality I lacked. She hadn't many real friends and we had plenty of classes together. Finally, I mustered up enough courage to talk to her by the end of the first week of 8th grade. She was exactly as I had expected and we were friends instantly. I had never met anyone like her before. She brought out the best of me. The real me that had been hiding for so long under my skin, prickling to the surface. She was my best friend, my only friend, and the only person I could trust. Shortly after our friendship was stitched, trouble found me again. My enemies clashed to pull her from me but I only held on tighter. Every day I hoped she wouldn't turn her back on me like so many of my friends had done. I would have no reason to be alive if I didn't have her in my life. I knew I was putting her through pain but it never seemed to bother her. As everyone else despised me, she would stand by my side and smile and say "Smile Jessie, you never know who could be taking your picture!" We were inseparatable. What I didn't know was that my feelings for her would grow out of my reach to pull back.

I was deeply in love with her. No matter how I tried to deny it, there was nothing but the truth. I had never known what love was so I was skeptical at first. It became more clear to me that my feelings weren't going away or even fading but growing stronger every second I spent with her. When I knew I loved her I was falling head over heels. I could hardly carry on a conversation without stuttering or look her in the eye and not blush. It was impossible to escape and there was absolutely nothing I could do to reverse it. The next thing I knew I had to tell her. I couldn't keep those feelings inside of me any longer.

I remember everything about the day I told her. It was right after lunch and we were on our way to class. It was now or never I remember telling myself. She was blabbering about something or another when I stopped her in the middle of the hallway and said "There's something I need to tell you." and she said "Can it wait till after next class, I gotta.." "No it can't!" I yelled at her. It was difficult enough getting the guts to tell her, let alone then and there. She stopped talking and looked at me with a curious expression. I took the deepest breath of my life, gulped down the fear that she would never speak to me again, and looked right in her eyes. "I'm in love with you." I couldn't bare whatever she would say then so I turned and left for my next class.