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by will Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Script/Play · Comedy · #1584734
Skit #5 "keep your shirt on". Jeff and Tyler plan out their rebellion!
Dancers run off the stage. Stage is bare for a few seconds and then the theme song to "Mission Impossible" begins playing. Jeffrey pokes his head on stage right, he then rolls on to the stage and is wearing a black jump suit. He moves about the stage doing little rolls and constantly looking over his shoulder while trying to be sneaky. After a few moments of this, Jeffrey stops looks to stage left and whispers "coast is clear!" Tyler then comes and walks on in his normal clothing. He marches up towards Jeffrey, who at this time is looking the opposite direction, and stops with arms folded and stares disapprovingly. Tyler coughs, and Jeffrey turns around and is startled.

Jeff: What?

Tyler: That's a good question. Like, "what are you wearing?"

Jeff: You said we had to be discreet.

Tyler: Yeah, discreet, not black latex. And would you turn that stupid music off!

Jeffrey makes a signal to the light box and the theme music stops.

Tyler: And take that suit off too, I feel like i'm in a Cher video.

Jeffrey shrugs and takes off the suit, and is left standing in his wife beater and dancing pants.

Jeff: So, why did we come here anyway?

Tyler: We needed to get away from the rest of the dancers, so that we can finally stage our protest! They'll never know what hit 'em!

Jeff: Yeah! Stupids! Haha!

Tyler:Ha!

A few awkward moments go by with the two of them snickering to each other, which then slowly leads to an awkward pause.

Jeff: So...how are we gonna protest?

Tyler: I was hoping you'd figure that out.

They stand in silence trying to figure out what to do. They begin pacing around the stage, and the lights start to dim.

Jeff: No! Wait I know! Bring the lights back up!

Lights rise

Tyler: What?

Jeff: We sneak into the girls' changing rooms an-

Lights start dimming

Jeff: No, no hear me out.

Lights slowly rise

We sneak into the girls' changing rooms and we take one of them, and in her place we leave a ransom note that says "if you ever want to see her again, let us friggin' dance!" Then we bring her back here and wait until they meet our demands...it's the perfect plan.

Tyler: Did I ever tell you how creepy you are?

Jeff: Yes.

pause.

Tyler: Ok, here's a thought. Our best ideas seem to come to us when we're angry and pumped up, in the moment you know?

Jeffrey nods.

Tyler: So, why don't I get you all reved up and we'll see what ideas you come up with, sound good?

Jeff: Bring it!

Tyler: Ok. (clears throat) So Jeffrey, how's the dance show going along?

Jeff: Pretty good, I guess.

Tyler: Hmm, yeah so...how many dances have gone by already?

Jeff: (looks puzzled, starts counting on his fingers) Four?

Tyler: Right, right, and um...how many have you been in so far?

Jeff: (puzzled again, goes back to counting on his fingers then stops and realizes where this is going) (with mallace) Zero...

Tyler: That's right so tell me Jeffrey, when-

Jeff: (anger rising) When will it be our turn? When will be finally get to take the stage and show off our skills that kills?!

Tyler: um..yeah, I guess.

Jeff: (starting to lose it) You guess? YOU GUESS?! We gotta show these guys who's boss and that we mean business! We gotta send them a sign, a symbol!

Tyler: (edging Jeffrey on) Good, good a symbol like what? What do we do?!

Jeff: I got it! (looks at his shirt) The shirts! We have to send them a message and show them how we think they're treating us! (rips his shirt off) WE BURN THE SHIRTS!!

Pause.

Tyler: Huh. And I coulda sworn my plan would work.

Jeff: (evil laughter) wait, huh?

Tyler: Nothing.

Tyler stands shaking his head, and Danny walks on.

Tyler: Danny! Danny, you gotta help us! We've been trying to come up with a way to show the girls that we mean business about dancing and that we can seriously dance and you gotta help us an-

Danny: Woah, woah, woah keep your shirt on.

Jeff: Too late. (A drum roll is heard, like the kind after a joke, all three of them look around to find out where it came from and then dismiss it)

Danny: What do you mean show them what we're capable of. We have a dance next. So hurry up.

Tyler: You mean... it's OUR turn?

Danny: Yeah, didn't you guys get the memo?

Jeff: Mem...mo...?

Danny: Yeah, so hurry up!

Jeff: Do I have to wear the shirt?

Danny: Yes!

Tyler: Do you hear this Jeff?!

Jeff: Yeah... (sad) I have to wear the shirt.

Tyler: No, not that! We finally have a dance! We have our chance to show them what we've got, to take the stage and say "hey world! I'm a man! and i can dance too, damn it!" WOOOHOOO!

Tyler runs off stage left and a loud crashing noise is heard followed by tyler screaming.

silence.

Jeff: Um...Tyler? Are you ok?

Tyler: I think I'm broken.

Danny: Can you get up?

Tyler: I'll try. (Pause, then more crashing) NOPE! NO, definitely broken!

Danny: Looks like we have to dance without him.

Jeff: (slowly getting emotional) Don't worry Tyler, I'll dance like I've never danced before. I'll go out onto that stage and make you proud of me! (starts crying) I'll make you so proud!!! THIS ONES FOR YOU, TYLER!! (runs off stage right)

Danny: (sighs) That kid worries me.

Danny exits stage right, lights go down preparing for next dance.



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