It Girl

Once upon a time, I was the "It girl".
Young and full of promise, but life has a funny way
of putting you in your place.
Dreams never realized.
Potential untapped.
A promise now nothing, but a fleeting memory.
So young, yet so old.
I smile on the outside, but that smile is killing me.
Pain, oh blinding pain sits behind that sad, sad smile.
The pain I feel is as dark as the sun is bright.
My soul never rests.
My body screams for release.
What did I do to deserve this?
Ah, but what didn't I do.
How to survive the depression,
the desolation, and the darkness.
How can the world around me be so beautiful,
when I have nothing but darkness within?
Why is it, that the hardest thing to do
in the world is live - truly live?
Dear God can't you make the pain stop.
I beg for forgiveness and all I receive is your scorn.
The "It Girl" has become the “Out Girl”.
Out of hope, out of love,
out of salvation, out of life, out of her mind…