Thoughts in the bathroom

Locking my thoughts behind the bathroom door
To let them echo off the walls—
It’s just another day waiting for a phone call.

Shaking with emotion,
Convulsing with the pain of another day wondering.
Wondering.
Will he come back?

My soar throat says no.
My mind finds a way to disagree.
It could happen.
It could happen!

Could it?

The thought bounces away unanswered.
And another thousand flood into my mind
Until I can’t take it.
My mind is a discombobulated mess
Of fantasies and realities
Of words and tone
Of actions and promises.

It’s just another day.
Waiting for time to steal another thought from my head
To lift a little weight off my shoulders
Until I can stand tall again.
Until I can see clearly again.
Until I can think again.
Again?
Was there a before?