I lay awake because I cannot sleep and I wonder about so many different things because I am not like most people I live a hidden life a life full of ups and downs a life full of challenges sometimes I wonder how I conquer these challenges as well as I do I lay awake wondering when will I be able to love myself and be able to accept me for who I am when am I ever going to meet the special someone when I do find that special someone are they going to be able to love and accept me for me knowing that I am different and not like other people? It is hard because I feel like I am alone I feel like I am the only one who is going through this Sometimes I feel like I'm not appealing I feel like I am ugly on the outside and the inside. I lay awake wondering if I am ever going to find true love another sleepless night with no one to cuddle with and whisper in my ear that everything will be ok when sometimes I question if it truly will be. Sometimes I feel like no one notices me as if I'm invisible. I wonder if anyone thinks about me but it too afraid to tell me I wonder if any young lady will ever like me as more than a friend. I wish someone is thinking about right at this very moment in time and sometimes I wish they would tell me. So, that I do not have to ask and look like a fool. I wonder if the next time I tell someone that I am attracted to them that I will not get rejected and end up looking like an idiot for one last time. I have had my heart broken and have broken some hearts. I have endured so much emotional and physical pain that sometimes I wonder and wish if anything good will ever happen to me? I wonder what my purpose in life is? I wonder if I will ever get married, start a family and have a successful career? I wonder as I lay awake when something good will finally happen to me because I feel like I have waited long enough. I will keep waiting but not sure how much more patience I will have. Another sleepless night I lay awake and wonder what does “true love” look and feel like? Because I have never been in “true love” before. Another sleepless night full of waiting and wonder Another sleepless night I pray and say, “ when will something good ever happen to me? I have wondered and waited long enough. It is about time for my wait and wonder to be over a done with a moment of wonder is wandering way too long. |