Meanies

Roughage - that boisterous stage in a boy's development (deemac )

Wattage - the stage in um, later life when you start having to ask people to repeat what they just said (deemac )

macaroni - deemac's special brand of irony (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

irony - a phonetic spelling of how the Philistines pronounce the name "Ernie" (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Philistine - someone who is neither from Palestine nor the Phillipines and certainly not from Philadelphia. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Oxymoron – A person who has never heard of (or does not believe) that deep breathing exercises are vital to human physical, mental, & spiritual health. (Petra Pansky )

Dictionary - A canary which you've taught how to speak. (Petra Pansky )

Umbrage - The most famous bridge in Luxembourg. (LJPC - the tortoise )

Tarantella - A giant, hairy spider that likes to dance. (LJPC - the tortoise )

Singlets - Sniglets posted by short-sighted typists OR Those little snatches of songs that bad singers on American Idol get to sing before Simon puts his hand up in disgust. (deemac )

Dentine - Philistine's brother (deemac )

Ovaltine - Den's well-rounded sister. BTW, all the siblings are in their teens now. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Wishy-washy – A psychological therapy designed to eliminate negative wants and desires through detoxification. (Petra Pansky )

Superficial - Extremely authoritative or official. Our Mayor is proud of his superficial powers. (Petra Pansky )

Mandible – Any food that only a man would eat. “The chocolate that fell on the floor is now a mandible.” From the Canadian: man = not female, edible = a little dirt never hurt anyone. (Petra Pansky )

Gumption - The extra motion a man needs from his jaws when he peels somebody else's old gum off the floor and starts getting it chewable again. (deemac )

Chocolate -- what you say when little Choco isn't punctual (Hey, it's not easy) (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Epidemic – an EpiPen for people who are allergic to those academic types. “Here comes a teacher! Quick, where's my Epidemic!” (Petra Pansky )

Petrified -- In shock from reading a Petra Pansky meanie. It leaves you vulnerable to the sniglet: petrafried. Even more damage. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Halloween -- An attempt to ween a baby from his mother's breast by repeatedly saying, "Hallo! What's this? A bottle? Mmmm, good!" (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Pumpkin - a relative who works at a gas station. (deemac )

Frankenstein - A fancy beer mug made in the city of Frankfurt. “On your next visit to Germany, you *must* try drinking your ale in a cheerfully decorated frankenstein.” (Petra Pansky )

Fraction - Steve's first post of the day, when he's still only around 17/29ths awake. (deemac )

Candlelabra - for women who want to turn any meal into a romantic candle light dinner just by opening their blouse. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Pirate – The rate at which the explanation of pi exponentially and completely discombobulates, befuddles and bewilders the new math student. (Petra Pansky )

Ninja--To say yes to a German lady in Sumeria http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nin and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JA (Katya the Poet )

Cabbage - the stage in life when you just can't take on that city traffic any more. (deemac )

Olive – Including everything. Part of the common idiom “olive the sudden”. (Petra Pansky )

Comatose -- a mild foot condition, not nearly as bothersome as semicolon toes. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Martini--very small dent or scar, as found on the inside of the throat when someone suddenly chokes while swallowing an olive (or laughing at one) (Katya the Poet )

Oliver - technical term for a story with a sudden Twist (normally introduced by the phrase Oliver sudden) ... (deemac )

Metallurgy - A rash some people get from wearing a stainless steel watch band, (deemac )

Colonoscopy--A copyeditor's scrutiny of a manuscript in order to remove all the colons (Katya the Poet )

Portion--The tendency of the rich to look down on the poor (Katya the Poet )

Silicone – Double ended ice cream cone made in the shape of a U pipe. http://www.made-in-china.com/image/2f0j00IMBaikYGIthDM/PVC-U-Drainage-Pipe-Fitti... (Petra Pansky )

Ordination--The formal ceremony at which one is proclaimed ordinary (Katya the Poet )

Joinery - a compulsive disorder compelling sufferers to sign up with any and every two-bit website that will have them (deemac )

Joint--likewise, the thing that aches as a result of the above (Katya the Poet )

Tibetan – Sunning your tibia. (Petra Pansky )

Voluminous - feature of a set of encyclopedias for reading in bed: volumes that glow in the dark (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Matrimony -- cash hidden in your mattress (OT: Tan your tibia first. ) (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Infrared - (Gram: Verb) Past tense of the verb "infrar". (deemac )

Imply - (Gram: Adverb) In a mischievous manner (deemac )

Snorkel--To snore so vigorously one's nose hairs tickle one's nose (Katya the Poet )

Confiscate -- to roller skate with great confidence (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Stickleback - to tickle your own back by gently rubbing it with a stick (deemac )

Sushi--Ex-husband's last resort (Katya the Poet )

teleprompter -- what to do if you don't like the story prompts in a contest (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Oyster - a person who likes to use the word "oy" a lot, as in Oy vey! Vy did you drop dat tomato juice can on mine measly foot? (Petra Pansky )

masticate -- to derive sexual pleasure from chewing your food (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Mambo – Your mother's new boyfriend. (Petra Pansky )

Mumbo-Jumbo : The previous boyfriend that she dumped because he wrecked the sofa (deemac )

verification -- an expensive vacation that establishes your status as upper middle class (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

legato - Musical term With cello firmly gripped between right leg and left big toe (deemac )

pizzicato - (Musical term) Give the rest of the pizza to the cat and concentrate on your string plucking (deemac )

Largo - (Musical term) Time to exercise, you are now as big as the piano (Katya the Poet )

Piano - {Medical term) Annual urinalysis (Katya the Poet )

Pianissimo - (Medical term) meaning: Oh come on, you can pee more than THAT, can't you? (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Vicarious--Describing sensation experienced by a vicar imagining all the things he knows he oughtn't to do (Katya the Poet )

Urination - a wet, smelly country that few tourists want to visit (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Tourists - The things people have between their two arms and their two hands (deemac )

Tourettes -- tiny tourists that yell things when their parents least expect it (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Marzipan--When the entire population of Mars zips up its pants in a hurry (Katya the Poet )

Graphemic -- (yes, a real word that sounds like a sniglet) from "graphic" and "bulemic" and means: "I'm going to draw this picture but then immediately tear it up and pretend I didn't draw it." (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Triceratops - a line of women's blouses with a signature trim made up of three serrated edges repeated at intervals. (Petra Pansky )

Chronicle - a lens you hold up to your eye to see into the past or future. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Organza: Reaching the peak of excitement while viewing reruns of "Who's the Boss?" (Ravenwand, Rising Star! )

Snowberry - a Blackberry modified specially for use by Eskimos in sub subzero conditions. (Petra Pansky )

Handsome--Universal signal meaning "Pass this [beer, hot dog, pretzel, popcorn] down the way to that cute baseball fan down this row." (Katya the Poet )

Gladsome--archaic word meaning you are glad you got some while you could because now you are way too old to get some. (Katya the Poet )

Archaic -- The pain you get when a keystone falls on your head. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Subtitles - "Red October", "Nautilus", "Turtle" ... (deemac )

Footnotes - "left, right, left, right" (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Quarterback-what you get when you buy something for 75 cents and you hand the clerk a dollar. (Mr. Chowda Head )

Tomahawk - a hatchet named after Tom's hawk who thought he was a woodpecker and beat his brains out on a tree stump. That's why the traditional way of demonstrating your skill with a tomahawk is to toss it at a tree stump. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Spumoni--Incessant moaning following the fact that laughter made you spew, once again, on your computer screen, giving it a bacterial infection called spucoli (see Sniglets) (Katya the Poet )

Gaggle--To gag while giggling (Katya the Poet )

Gurgle -- final result of extreme gaggling (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Google - the Goo that comes up in your throat when you gurgle from the extreme gaggling that started out as just an innocent giggle (deemac )

Do a Google search - make sure you get every speck of that gurgled goo cleaned off Aunt Ethel's new carpet before she comes home from church. (deemac )

Common -- Urging command often given by needy carpetters: "Common! Common! Do it before somebody walks by." (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Weeknights - small chess pieces (deemac )

Pawnshop - when even smaller chess pieces behave like knights. (deemac )

Rookie - Irish chess website (deemac )

Chestnut -- bosom enthusiast (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Peenut- a urine enthusiast (Mr. Chowda Head )

Pinenut - Someone who is constantly desiring something they don't have. (husband, money, Rolls Royce Silver Cloud...) (Petra Pansky )

Avoidance: fancy footwork at the edge of the abyss (Katya the Poet )

Postulate: what the supervisor at work does when you don't get to work on time (kattwoman )

Absence--When you miss work because you went to the gym (Katya the Poet )

BandAids-what the Roadies use to be called before they were called Roadies. (kattwoman )

Flagpole -- what to do in Poland if your car breaks down (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Condom-as in the King rules the Kingdom, the Con rules the condom (kattwoman )

Conquer: when the grifter agrees that he has treated someone like a dog (Katya the Poet )

Concubines: Women that wear yellow silk kimonos with green cucumbers embroidered on them. (Steev the Friction Wizurd )

Thesaurus - A dinosaur who believes in God. (CopyPaper )

Oedipus Complex - compulsive desire to have a cat for breakfast (deemac )

Zumba--popular Zombie-inspired dance fitness program that leaves you dead on your feet (Katya the Poet )

Jiggerypokery - Poking someone with a jigger (except on Wednesdays, when it means jigging someone with a poker) (deemac )

Lexicon--An elaborate scheme by which someone makes someone else believe a fake word is a real word (Katya the Poet )

Brace - a race in the second division (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Sediment - not what he REALLY meant but what he said he meant. Usually at the end of an unsatisfactory first date. (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Fulminate - my mate Nathaniel has had a skinful (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Asinine - voted the best bottom in nine entries. (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Fortunate - what happens when a gourmand spends all his money on food (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Fitchet - an instruction to get something and bring it here - with a New Zealand accent. Where are you, 'ropa? (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Masticating -- the almost forgotten art of becoming aroused while sailing. (Indelible Ink )

Reliable - Found responsible once, now it's happened again. (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Pars.nip - liquid intoxicant which a clergyman of a parish might take small sips of between sermons. (Petra Pansky )

Confound - dumb, stupid, simple. Opposite of "profound". (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Sanguine - a recently discovered species of red penguin. (Petra Pansky )

Pontificate - Catherine, the first female pope. (☮ The Grum Of Grums )

Motif - what kids get some time after their fiff birthday (deemac )

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