Blooming Late

I am just starting to really live my life.

For the past years, I have always been thinking of others and what they would say about me, what they would think about me. It was always a goal of mine to never hurt them nor disappoint them. If obedience pleased them, then that’s what I would always do - just obey. I always had to be kind of “righteous” and liked the fact that they would always tag me as the “pinakabuot” girl of the family. I wouldn’t say that I regret any of it because I like the way I am now. It’s just that I have missed a lot of things in my youth.

What fun is there when you always had to study and be good in class? When all you ever did on weekends or holidays was do household chores? When the only real socialization that you ever had was attending fiestas of closest friends? There was no room for mistakes.

That, basically, was how I lived the 1st 20-something years of my life. I would almost always laugh at myself when I remember myself thinking that the concept of smoking, drinking, and boys was a “mortal sin”. When you had met me then, you would only get 2 impressions of me - either I was the most introverted, most shy person you had ever met (I wouldn’t even look straight into your eyes even if you were looking at me) or the most snobbish, rude person for not talking to you at all. Hahaha! What a “Me”!

Well, at least I have come out of my shell now. A bit too late though. Yes, late…because I am at a point of my life now where everything seems to be rushing in front of me. It’s as if I have to really really hurry because I’m the only human left who hasn’t done this, hasn’t done that. I’m almost pressured to do everything fun I can think of before I reach the age of 30. Yeah, 30. Funny isn’t it - for me to be living the mind of a teenager at this age? So you see? I have very limited time wherein I intend to experience every little thing I have never done before.

So now, Im through with the past, in with the present. I have a degree, I have a good job. I’m waiting for better opportunities to come my way. What reason is there for me still not to have fun? There’s N-O-N-E!

Now, I smoke? Yes (but not a habit). I drink? Most definitely! A little wine every now and then is such sweet pleasure! I go out at night (with friends)? You bet! I have what hey call a “social life”? Damn, right! I splurge on food and clothing? I gotta be crazy not to! I treat myself with a gift every now and then (and THAT should be apart from the splurging Haha)? I recently spent a “dowry” to buy me a new cell phone, does that count? Hehehe

What a life! I couldn’t believe I’ve been missing such.

Hmm…Something still is missing. Have you guessed? Hilarious, right? To see the bold letters flashing in front of you - *SINGLE* *SINGLE* *SINGLE*! So I am still single, big deal. I don’t wish to think that I am in a hurry to change status, but I most definitely dread thinking being alone someday. And so, as the story goes, “the fair maiden still awaits her prince.” I can’t discount the fact that a few EXes have made their way into my life, but they were never ones whose arrows pierced through my heart.

The search for the right person is still on. And I believe I have a prayerful enough and a trustful enough HEART. I live it up to You, Lord, to give me the right person at the right time.Thanks in advance hehehe!

I was a dormant seed for so long. But now, new life has sprung. And with my flowers all abloom, let me live the beauty of my existence and reveal the beauty of my heart. And someday, somehow, someone might stumble upon me, discover, by chance, what I have and then pick me from among the flowers in the vast garden of this life.

Ciao!