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Pays homage to many prominent horror films of the past in a darkly humorous fashion. |
A quick note from Stephen Beacham -- This is the first of many short scripts, roughly between 30 and 60 pages long each. "Horror Hiatus" is the name I've given the series much in the tradition of a large collection of horror stories presented with hints of dark humor. The first of the series, so far a trilogy, is entitled "I'm Your Boogeyman" - which follows the life of an up and coming serial killer that mistakingly messes with someone who is far more deranged than he is. This is one of the first scripts I've ever written and I don't usually follow the recommended formula and I have a bad habit of having dialogue heavy scenes, but that's how I roll. Give the script a try, it's not as macabre as it sounds - it's a pretty fun ride if you can appreciate horror films integrated with black humor. This is not the full script which runs at about 75 pages. I like to call this my "teaser" script. Enjoy! Stephen Beacham FADE IN: EXT. ATLANTIC CITY - NIGHT The city glooms with an atmospheric calmness - the lights twinkle and the traffic is tame - the sounds are gentle and all is well in the slums of Atlantic City. SUBTITLE APPEARS; "October 27th, 1996" INT. 3421 CAVALIER AVE. - NIGHT STACIE LUDMILLA (17) looks into the hallway mirror and applies the finishing touch to her costume and checks her hair while conversing on her phone. STACIE LUDMILLA (annoyed) How long does it take to drive four blocks? (beat) Make sure he's coming, I dont want to give anyone else the wrong idea about me. (beat) I'm wearing, like, the slutiest costume imaginable but he's got to know that this supple ass is an open invite to him and him alone. Stacie opens the top of her dress a little more - exposing more cleavage. STACIE LUDMILLA (still on phone) Well it's a subtle invite, but it's a fairly blatant hint. (beat) I'll be watching for you. She hangs up and tosses the phone on the hallway bench. STACIE LUDMILLA (loudly to herself) Where the fuck is my purse?! MRS. LUDMILLA (O.S) What kind of language is that, Stacie?! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2. STACIE LUDMILLA I am much apologetic, mom. Stacie opens the closet and grabs her purse laying on the floor. STACIE LUDMILLA Found it. MRS. LUDMILLA walks into the hallway. MRS. LUDMILLA What did we discuss? Stacie rolls her eyes at her mother. STACIE LUDMILLA No drugs. Mrs. Ludmilla nods - "And?" STACIE LUDMILLA No alcohol. No sex. No fun. MRS. LUDMILLA I'm not ready to be the grandmother of a newborn with some kind of cognitive disability, Stacie. STACIE LUDMILLA Dont worry I'll make sure he wears protection. MRS. LUDMILLA That's smart, but not funny. STACIE LUDMILLA I'm kidding. Look, I'm not heading to Marilyn Manson's house for a quick fling or anything, I'm just going to a costume party with my friends. Nothing to worry about. A car horn is heard outside. STACIE LUDMILLA (heading to the door) That's Samantha. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. MRS. LUDMILLA Be good, honey, and have fun. Call us if you're going to be late. EXT. 3421 CAVALIER AVE. - NIGHT Stacie shuts her front door and runs to the car occupied by her friends. They shout out incomprehensibly as Stacie hops in. INT. CAR - NIGHT Stacie sits in the front seat sucking back a joint and hands it over to EVAN (18) - in the back with DAVID (18). STACIE LUDMILLA So? EVAN What? STACIE LUDMILLA Is he coming or not? DAVID Who? SAMANTHA Riley. DAVID Riley Brown? Why do you care if he's coming? The guys obviously an illiterate. SAMANTHA He's unique. EVAN He's an oddball, but he means well. I guess he's a good guy to have on your side if you're in the habit of pursuing a career in illegal activities - and yes, Stacie, he'll be there. I sent him the invite personally. STACIE LUDMILLA (smiles at Evan) Much appreciated, Evan! Thank you! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4. Stacie looks back at David who is wearing a terrible looking wolfman costume and a yellow basketball jersey. STACIE LUDMILLA (smiling) What the fuck is this, David? DAVID Clearly you haven't seen Teen Wolf? Stacie looks bored. DAVID Michael J. Fox? STACIE LUDMILLA Sorry. DAVID Don't apologize to me for your shortcomings, sweetie. Evan passes the joint to the driver, SAMANTHA (17). SAMANTHA You really need to get out of Harrison's class. STACIE LUDMILLA It's not that bad. SAMANTHA Girl, I've seen who you're sitting beside - looks to be as exciting as rye bread. It's all about whose in your class that'll determine your success. I got Miller and Kim, inside out that class is absolutely beautiful. We could have a mardi gras in that classroom and still get a passing grade. Plus, I got these two clowns behind us to keep me entertained. DAVID I love you, Samantha. SAMANTHA Fuck your mother, David. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5. EVAN Did you guys hear about Tyler Mitchell's little jailtime last year? STACIE LUDMILLA Is that why he's not in school? EVAN Crazy son of a bitch tossed Billy Parkens through his back windshield after last years homecoming game. SAMANTHA Tyler Mitchell was born a jail bird. It becomes increasingly more dark outside as the teenagers drive down a perimeter highway - the city lights still visible in the distance. DAVID Two words. BILLY CLUB. You got a drunk giving you problems? Billy Club. You got a ninja acting up? Billy Club. You got a drunk ass trying to be a ninja speaking jiberish and trying to give you shit? BILLY CLUB. Just club his drunk ass, and give him a nice fat lump on his forehead to think about the way he was behaving. EVAN Dude, you tried talking tough like that last year and you got rocked so bad you started whimpering like a puppy. SAMANTHA You know you two could learn a thing or two from Tyler Mitchell. The guys got a pretty impressive resume. EVAN How so? SAMANTHA Ask around at school, try to find one girl he hasnt slept with. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6. DAVID Have you two slept with him? STACIE LUDMILLA She has, I havent! DAVID (laughs) You slut! SAMANTHA I'm not denying the fact that Tyler Mitchell is a muscle-bound ant eater with a knack for violence - but he was a legend for at least one year at our school. DAVID When he kidnapped Gnome Chomsky? SAMANTHA That's such small potatoes. Think bigger. EVAN The fact of the matter is he's borderline psychotic. STACIE LUDMILLA But he's gorgeous. SAMANTHA In the right light he looks exactly like Jason Ritter. Evan nods his head approvably. DAVID I just want a girl who can get down and dirty. EVAN Fuck man, who doesnt? DAVID But heres the thing about Tyler Mitchell, ladies. The guy grew up raising chickens on daddy's farm, he has no preference when it comes to females. She can be missing an eye, have three teeth, have breath like she's been sucking on an old gym sock filled with dog shit and have a flaky crusty disease ridden (MORE) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7. DAVID (cont'd) vagina and a bush that starts at her bellybutton and ends somewhere in the middle of her back and ole Ty Mitchell would still rock that shit. But then again take a closer look at this "legend" as you call him - The last time he got a piece of ass was when his finger broke through the toilet paper. In jail. Everyone laughs. The car comes to a stop at a red light. Stacie looks out her window and sees a white 1989 Ford F150 stopped beside them - she looks at the occupant dressed in a Michael Myers Halloween costume. STACIE LUDMILLA (to Samantha) Check this guy out. Samantha looks over at him and giggles. SAMANTHA (laughs) Is this guy serious? Maybe he's going to the same party. INT. FORD TRUCK - NIGHT The occupant slowly turns his head at the loud teenagers - rolling down their windows and holding up beer bottles, and acting heinous. EVAN Killer costume, man!!! DAVID Hey!!! I'm your biggest supporter!!! EXT. PERIMETER HIGHWAY - NIGHT The light turns green - the occupant in the truck speeds up and swirves into their lane and slams on the breaks in front of them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8. INT. CAR - NIGHT EVAN Jesus Christ!!! STACIE LUDMILLA What's he doing!!! The four teens watch the occupant in the truck step out of the truck in a full Michael Myers getup - and swiftly walk in front of the car. SAMANTHA (shouting) What the fuck's your problem!!! The occupant moves closer and closer... SAMANTHA Are you fucking retarded, asshole?!! The occupant aims a gun at Samantha and shoots through the windshield mercilessly - splattering blood all over Stacie and the other two. Stacie screams but is shot a few times as well. Everyone screams in absolute terror as the shooting continues. Shock Cut Into - "KC AND THE SUNSHINE BAND - I'M YOUR BOOGIE MAN" blasts onto the soundtrack. EXT. CAR - NIGHT The shooting stops as the occupant walks to the side of the car and forces the door open to continue firing at the two boys in the back seat. The Myers copycat closes the door and slicks the hair from the mask back - looks around and studies the bodies for a few seconds before quickly pacing to his truck. The killer very casually drives away - leaving the car and the teenagers on the road... FADE OUT TO BLACK SCREEN -- TITLE CARD APPEARS; H O R R O R H I A T U S PRESENTS: "I'M YOUR BOOGEYMAN" WRITTEN BY STEPHEN BEACHAM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9. INT. THE PHANTASMAL BOOKS & SUPPLIES - DAY FRANK BUSKY (65) sits behind the desk of his small, dark and bizarre looking book store - reading the newspaper and sipping back a cup of tea. The bell from the front door jingles as a younger man enters - this is HAL HARLEN an off but good looking individual, sporting a pair of jet black reading glasses and a knitted zip-up sweater. HAL approaches the front desk. HAL HARLEN Whatd'ya say there, Frank? FRANK BUSKY Hal, good day? HAL HARLEN Oh, just fine. Hows business? FRANK BUSKY I sell a few books here and there, Hal. Not quite making the fortune I originally sought out. Hal scans the store briefly. HAL HARLEN Funny seeing such youngings here, what's the attraction do you think? FRANK BUSKY Seem to be attracting a whole bundle of fiddle-fucks these days. (beat) You know I had a kid in here last week asks me if I've got any of those old fashioned eroticism books, you know? HAL HARLEN Right. FRANK BUSKY When I was that young the worst we'd ever seen were in those old science fiction novels with a mildly detailed description of sexual interaction. But that was always enough for us to get our rocks off. No accounting for taste (MORE) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10. FRANK BUSKY (cont'd) I suppose. HAL HARLEN You're entitled to have animosity towards these people, Frank, FRANK BUSKY Just the same, these sick fucks get their pleasure and - well - I get money in the cash register. (beat) So, what brings you to my little shop of horrors? HAL HARLEN (flipping through a book) I'm not looking for anything in particular, Frank, in fact I have no real reason to even be in here. FRANK BUSKY Are you a religous man, Hal? HAL HARLEN Never really gave it much thought. I suppose if someone could show me proof of God's existence I'd be far more inspired to learn about it. FRANK BUSKY I carry a few bibles here. You know what I always found strange about the bible is that dogs are mentioned and lions are mentioned but domestic cats are never referred to once. The front door opens, a very skinny and odd looking man walks into the store and approaches Frank and Hal. MAN I was wondering if you could help me out? FRANK BUSKY Lets hear it, friend. MAN Okay, well I'm sort of interested in necrophilia, right? You know sex with dead people? (MORE) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11. MAN (cont'd) (beat) But is there a difference between fucking a dead person versus fucking a zombie? Personally, I feel that fucking a corpse is a qualitatively different activity than fucking a zombie. My sister insists that both are necrophilia but I strongly disagree. Also, would this word refer to the desire to have sex with ALL undead creatures? I mean, qualitatively, sex with a zombie is a bit different from sex with a vampire isn't it? Frank and Hal glance at eachother for a second. FRANK BUSKY I swear it's like these freaks are fucking spawning by the hour. EXT. STREETS - NIGHT Hal walks down the streets, people pass him immersed in conversation and the sounds of the city fill the surrounding area in a cool wave of prevelance. A lone dog scurries down the sidewalk as the traffic rumbles beside him as he moves. People walk past him but pay little attention. HAL HARLEN (V.O) This is my picture. I'll often go here. I live for this image and I believe in it. But the possibility of it is as far as it will ever go. Up in the sky a beautiful butterfly flutters around a street light, the glow shining proudly on it's beautiful white wings. HAL HARLEN (V.O) When I close my eyes this is what I'll see. Such a beautiful place. So much light. So many of those rare possibilities we take for granted exist here. SHOCK CUT TO: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12. EXT. STREETS - DAY A sea of pedestrians flow down a busy city sidewalk, this must be a work day. HAL HARLEN (V.O) What was it I believed in? Religion? Not so much, Frank. Hope? Hope never got me anywhere. So when the fuck did this happen? When did things get so bad? I mean, really, how are things looking for me? Do I look okay? Do people see me? Do I see them? Do I want to... INT. HAL'S APARTMENT - DAY Hal stands in front of a mirror wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts and a scary looking mask. He tilts his head to the side and then continues stairing at himself in the mirror. HAL HARLEN (V.O) I couldn't kill anyone. I always make sure to wear these masks when I'm in that mood though, it helps me. I have a collection of thirty-eight masks. Some from prominent scary movies and some that I made from scratch. Hal's mask collection are littered in his living room, some are simply cardboard boxes with cut out eye holes and childish monster designs all over them. INT. PLATO'S MARKET - DAY Hal is busy mopping up the floor in aisle 12 of the local grocery market "PLATO'S". HAL HARLEN (V.O) Where I work is at a monkey farm of self indulgent and greasy goomba's. I'm in charge of stalking the shelves and assisting customers with the identifying and locating of items of their choosing. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 13. A tubby looking older man wearing a nametag that says "EUGENIO" approaches Hal. EUGENIO Hal, hey, Hal, listen... Hal stops mopping and turns to Eugenio in annoyance. EUGENIO I need you to take a shift the morning of Monday next week, okay? HAL HARLEN I can't, I'm busy that day. EUGENIO Look, we're in the shits all week, I need the backbone. HAL HARLEN I can't take it, Eugene, can you find someone else? EUGENIO Look man, I hired you! Just as easily I could kick you out on your ass where you'd be the product of charity work from people who are fucking employed! An elderly woman walks past the two and glances over at Eugenio disapproving his language. EUGENIO (acknowledging woman) Afternoon. Hal watches the woman leave then turns back to Eugenio. HAL HARLEN ...And just as easily I could lay a bullet in your fucking smirk head. EUGENIO What did you say? HAL HARLEN (embarassed laugh) Just fucking with you, man. (beat) Um, yeah I'd be happy to take the shift, any time you need me, (MORE) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 14. HAL HARLEN (cont'd) Eugene. (pause) Please... INT. RIBBINS COFFEE - DAY Hal sits across from MR. EISENMAN, an older man - he's sipping on a cup of coffee or tea and scratching the top of his head in the process. Hal sits back in his chair and listens to him speak... MR. EISENMAN You're still young, young is good. We learn the most important things when we're young, Hal. I mean, as long as I always had new things to learn my life was crystal. Was it paradise? (shakes head) There were the gas shortages, the end of the Vietnam war. the Watergate scandal, the Three Mile Island nuclear incident, the ever present threat of nuclear war with the Russians. But these things only affected me indirectly. HAL HARLEN Yeah. MR. EISENMAN Let me tell you something, Hal. You're looking greater than anything. HAL HARLEN Thanks Mr. Eisenman. MR. EISENMAN Why haven't you set yourself up with some nice lovely nice lady, huh? HAL HARLEN I don't think I'd be able to subject them to my hobbies. MR. EISENMAN I hear you late at night in your apartment. You're still playing dress up with yourself? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 15. HAL HARLEN (embarassed) Well, I mean, it's not dress up, Mr. Eisenman. I collect masks, you know that? MR. EISENMAN Collecting masks and doing what? Dancing like a fucking queer? HAL HARLEN That's not what I'm doing. I'm just cool. MR. EISENMAN Sometimes I think you're not quite alright upstairs, Hal. But you're a cool guy, I'll give you that. HAL HARLEN Hey my mind is a steal trap, Mr. Eisenman, rusty and illegal in thirty-seven states. MR. EISENMAN Lord give me patience. EXT. RIBBINS COFFEE - DAY Hal helps Mr. Eisenman with his coat and the two casually exit the coffee shop. HAL HARLEN You alright to make it back to the building? MR. EISENMAN Where are you going? Hal looks at his watch. HAL HARLEN I promised someone I'd drop by and help him with his furniture. MR. EISENMAN Hey, look, Hal, tonight I'm having a few old timers over for our weekend scrabble tournies. You come by and you bring some beer or something and you join us? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 16. HAL HARLEN Sure, that'd be great. MR. EISENMAN Seven on the dial, alright? HAL HARLEN You've got yourself a deal. MR. EISENMAN (jokingly) You'll leave the masks at home? HAL HARLEN Really? I was thinking I'd bring just one over and show you bastards what a Mexican bloodbath looks like! Mr. Eisenman doesn't look at all surprised that Hal said that. HAL HARLEN I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. (beat) I'll tell you, you know, I'll bring some graham wafers too, okay? Or some pretzels? Mr. Eisenman shakes his head and starts walking down the sidewalk in the opposite direction - he throws his arm into the air as though to silence Hal. HAL HARLEN What kind of beer do you guys like?! INT. 1971 CHEVY NOVA - DAY Hal sits in his car and looks into the mirror for a few seconds before glancing into the backseat... ...A dufflebag. He looks back into the mirror before starting up his car. HAL HARLEN (V.O) It was becoming evident that I had that urge again. That deadly and horrifying impulse that no matter what I couldn't shake off. (beat) So on that same note I made sure to grab one of my masks - a gun - (MORE) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 17. HAL HARLEN (cont'd) and a really big knife... EXT. STREET - DAY The Nova roars off into the distance like a ghost from the past ready to shed it's armour and reveal the true beast within... TO BE CONTINUED... FADE OUT. |