My Take on Nursery Rhymes

My Take On Nursery Rhymes

Ever wonder what's wrong with us and our kids today? Could it be that those nursery rhymes and fairy tales we all read when we were little had something to do with it. Have you ever really read them?

"Red Riding Hood" was either so dense that she couldn't recognize her grandmother from a wolf or she was so much into the fads and fashion of her day that she didn't visit her grandmother often enough to know what she really did look like.

"Old Mother Hubbard" was either a senile woman who forgot to buy groceries or she was totally incapable of taking care of herself and anyone/anything else. Or she was one of those unfortunate needy persons who slipped through the welfare system and somehow didn't qualify for public assistance.

"Little Boy Blue" was lazy and irresponsible. "Jack and Jill" were a couple of klutzes who probably used up their parents' insurance allowances to its limit. "Mary Quite Contrary" was a perfectionist who no doubt was never satisfied with anything. "Little Bo Peep" was careless and irresponsible, (a child of mine would have had to have gone after those sheep). "Little Jack Horner" was an egotistical, conceited, little twerp. "Goldilocks" was a trespasser. "Pinochio" was a liar. "Jack Be Nimble" was a masochist who kept jumping around, tempting fate and a candle flame. Perhaps he was an arsonist too, we'll never know.

The Knave of Hearts was a thief. The girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead was a schizophrenic. "Peter the Pumpkin Eater" was a kidnapper. "Chicken Little" was a paranoid, neurotic chicken, which was probably due to a never-dealt-with guilt complex. Santa is a business tycoon who should have been before government committees long before Bill Gates was being scrutinized. Santa does, afterall, have the commercial monopoly on Christmas.

"Rock-a-Bye Baby" advocates child abuse. "Three Blind Mice" gruesomely sings about cruelty to animals. London Bridge is Falling Down advocated a potential plan of terrorism upon another's property. "Alice of Wonderland", as discussed many times, had drug problems. And "Hansel and Gretel" was another story of gross child abuse.

What have we put in our minds in the name of childish reading stimulation? The only positive ones that come to my mind are: The "Three Little Pigs" and "Little Tommy Tucker". The "Three Little Pigs", because it showed a progressive mind on the part of the third little pig. He invested well in his and the other pig's future, by spending a little more on his shelter. The other two probably squandered portions of their money on good times and bad vices and had only enough left to build meager shelters. That third pig should get the Planner's Award for the century. "Little Tommy Tucker" earned whatever he got and no doubt practiced for what probably became a rewarding musical career. He would have been an asset to any community.

I'm not sure what the "Easter Bunny" and a bunch of chicken eggs is all about, but I think the only way "Mother Goose" should be served is on a platter with sweet and sour sauce.