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a colleague drowned while we had operation in philippines. |
dear father and mother as i watched you making his last bed putting clumps of earth between his side and another for him to kiss the world goodbye i stared listless looking at an empty space its hollow devoid of any emotions i have dammed my sorrow for the last 30 hours i have to for the sake of the team they were devastated if i was to join them his body would still be in zambales dear father and mother please take solace that he was not alone when he left us we were there with him all the while even when he laid cold on the trolley in the morgue we were sitting around him we wanted him to know that we are not leaving not me..not in my tour of duty as he laid on the stretcher then van took him to manila i was with him ..alone sitting with him i did nt leave him alone i want him to know that theres always someone beside him i didnt shed a tears dear father and mother i went to father instead for a salam i hugged him like yearning for a father's hug i tucked myself in his embrace and tried to whisper to you father my voice choked i couldnt say it without letting go of my emotion i cried in your arms holding you tight i tried whispering again 'never a moment we left him alone..we are always with him'.. please forgive me you cried with me father holding me tight and petting my back i just let my tears flows a huge burden lifted from me you told me dont stop doing what you are doing i wnt father i wnt i stood under that tree my eyes wild like looking for something there is still something i need to do dear mother i walked to you my body still aching banging my body on the metal frame while we were rushing him to the hospital my knees pricking with pain i was at his head giving him precious breathe his eyes fixed lifeless bt straight at me like a script to be read when it is time i kept whispering to him u can do it buddy u can do it my steps were slow im trying to find the words we met under the shadow of that thin tree but its like an umbrella shading us from the heat of the sun i touched your hand it was cool...so comforting i just hugged you it took me few minutes among the chokes for me to say he always say about u mother he always did u said he didnt call you he didnt say anything is he always busy no mother he always talked about you he always does forgive me mother that i have send him back in a casket but he always talked about you makcik redha makcik redha please let him go makcik please redha i think about my mother she gave me life in her pain and crying i was born now im facing with a mother through her pain and crying shes sending him back to the Creator May you rest in peace my fren.... (-was written on 2nd september 2009.) |