Parody of Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout :) |
Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout - Shel Silverstein Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garbage Out Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would not take the garbage out! She'd scour the pots and scrape the pans, Candy the yams and spice the hams, And though her daddy would scream and shout, She simply would not take the garbage out. And so it piled up to the ceilings: Coffee grounds, potato peelings, Brown bananas, rotten peas, Chunks of sour cottage cheese. It filled the can, it covered the floor, It cracked the window and blocked the door With bacon rinds and chicken bones, Drippy ends of ice cream cones, Prune pits, peach pits, orange peel, Gloopy glumps of cold oatmeal, Pizza crusts and withered greens, Soggy beans and tangerines, Crusts of black burned buttered toast, Gristly bits of beefy roasts... The garbage rolled on down the hall, It raised the roof, it broke the wall... Greasy napkins, cookie crumbs, Globs of gooey bubble gum, Cellophane from green baloney, Rubbery blubbery macaroni, Peanut butter, caked and dry, Curdled milk and crusts of pie, Moldy melons, dried-up mustard, Eggshells mixed with lemon custard, Cold french fries and rancid meat, yellow lumps of Cream of Wheat. At last the garbage reached so high That finally it touched the sky. And all the neighbors moved away, And none of her friends would come to play. And finally Sarah Cynthia Stout said, "OK, I'll take the garbage out!" But then, of course, it was too late... The garbage reached across the state, From New York to the Golden Gate. And there, in the garbage she did hate, Poor Sarah met an awful fate, That I cannot right now relate Because the hour is much too late. But children, remember Sarah Stout And always take the garbage out! and now… it’s time for a little fun poking A resourceful woman, Martha, there’s no doubt Forgot to throw the evidence out She’d decorate every room of her home She would travel from here to Nome And though the government came snooping about She simply forgot to throw the evidence out And so the prosecutor had such piles A paper trail leading off for miles Of stock certificate shreddings Accountant be-headings Of recipes for making a new friend With finances that have no end A stack of paper up to the ceilings Of quiet and shady dealings Receipts for dinner costing way too much Not once was the bill paid “dutch” The DA’s thumb on Merryl Lynch Hoping to catch Martha inside that pinch Taped interviews brought into court With recipes for a chocolate torte Judges saw everything wrong with the list While Martha could only sit and get pissed Geraldo clamored for a word to quote With the rest of the media trying to dote Pictures were gathered throughout the year Striving for one of her in issued orange gear She had no tuna cans to try and add flair To her holding cell, it was just so gray there She had no knitting needles, nor any string These days were certainly not a Good Thing She had no music, no fresh colored paint She had no throw pillow to make things quaint She was given no telephone to make her calls Her accountant fled, for he had no b*lls Poor, poor, Martha, left all alone Devising a plan to get herself cloned Poor Martha awaiting trial from her cell Trying to get out of here, and stay out of h*ll The camera’s flash as Martha is led To the trial, a veil of doilies on her head Pleading the fifth when it came time to say “I didn’t know that was illegal in this day” The Judge was none other that Britney Spears And she listened to all Martha’s fears “I understand the pressure you’ve had to deal I shall release you only if you feel That you can manage to behave And I ask somehow that you can save A piece of that wonderful torte A reminder of your day in court” Martha smiled at the end of her bout Just remember children to throw the evidence out |