"The Great White Turkey"

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Comedy - Winning Entry! Older is always better, especially on Thankgiving Day!

                                             
                                                      “The Great White Turkey”


Last night I had a dream. I always dream, but I guess they’re so silly that I never remember them.  However, I remember this one. It was about a turkey. You heard it right! A large white turkey appeared, still owning all of his feathers!

Bathed in a soft glow, he looked almost angelic.  I was in awe, if I do say so myself.  He was beautiful, white, but stupid. He had asked me to prepare another turkey dinner for my family in his honor. This was one crazy turkey!

“You must have a traditional turkey dinner this thanksgiving,” he announced.

“You know, you are really sticking your neck out here,” I replied smugly.

Ignoring my remark, he kept rambling on about a traditional thanksgiving, just like the old days.

“I’m not going to do it,” I replied. “I’m an old lady now.  Isn’t anything sacred anymore? Let the kids do the cooking for a change!”

“But you must!” he screamed.

“I won’t!” I yelled back.

“They expect it of you,” he continued. “They deserve it.”

“What about what I deserve, huh? I have cooked countless Thanksgivings and never even got so much as a thank you,” I shrieked back.

“You don’t need a verbal thank you. Their sweet faces, full tummies and their smiles are enough thanks, don’t you think?” 

He started singing, “Over the river and through the woods, to grandmother’s house we go!”  He made me sick!

I told the idiot turkey that for countless years I have cooked for my family. I have even cooked for their families, their in-laws as well as their out-laws. My girls, one more beautiful than the next, always come with hair and nails done perfectly.  While I have usually been up since four am cooking, they prance in as if they have just received an invitation to walk the red carpet on Academy Awards Night! Who looks better and who is the thinnest, is their usual chitchat. Their in-laws come too, thanking God secretly that they did not have to cook again and bringing with them their containers for leftovers. I manage to put these beautiful people to work, setting the table and doing menial, but clean and important tasks.  I dress comfortably, to avoid all those hot flashes while cooking in the kitchen.  My husband and son-in-laws will be sacked out on the couch, watching football or snoring away.  Good ole’ L-Tryptophan!  I will have missed the Thanksgiving Day parade again. The grand children will be busy playing with their cousins and visiting with their grandparents, as I am too busy for such niceties.

“How fair is this?" I ask him. “Why can’t someone else do the cooking for a change?”

The Great White Turkey flapped his wings, stamped his feet and gobbled, “What has happened to you? Why have you changed?”

I woke up, shaking my head, repeating the phrase “no, no, no” several times.  Why did I have this ridiculous dream anyway and to make matters worse, why did I have to remember it? The stupid turkey was trying to make me feel guilty. I have certainly cooked my share of thanksgiving meals over my lifetime.

My husband was still sleeping and I quietly went into the kitchen and poured some coffee.  Ignoring my guilt-ridden dream, I planned to call all my daughters. I was definitely going to ask if one of them would be so kind as to cook this year.  Taking a deep breath, I picked up the phone. Before I could dial my oldest daughter’s number, the phone rang.

“Mom, it’s me, Kathy.  My Sissies and I decided that this year we should give you a break and we should do the cooking, if that’s ok with you.”  Kathy was my oldest and I breathed a sigh of relief.  I did not want to sound too happy, but I definitely knew I would accept the invitation.

“Well, honey that is so wonderful of you girls. But Won't it be a bit much for you though, since all of you are so busy with work, the children and everything? It’s always been the tradition to have it here.” I held my breath. I might have said too much.

“Oh, Mom, don’t be silly. The three of us can handle it and it is about time, don’t you think? We really want you and dad to come and just enjoy yourselves for a change.  Is it a deal?”

“It’s a deal!”

Hanging up the phone, I quickly thanked God for all his blessings. I thanked him too, for the memories of the many thanksgivings that I had made for the family. Most of all, I thanked him for the phone call. I will be able to sleep late and watch the parade on television for the first time in years! 

I started making a list. First, I will go shopping for a new dress. I will have my nails done and then my hair.  I will bake the grand children their favorite cookies. I might even use refrigerated cookie dough from the market. Maybe I will order a “home-made” pie.  I will play with them and take plenty of pictures this year. Last, but not least, I will bring plenty of containers and my rolaids.  I thanked God one more time. It just might be the most wonderful thanksgiving ever!



Word Count: 895

"Inker"