The Only Place I Know

Here I am in the dark, alone feeling lost, almost helpless
I wander around aimlessly, no direction, no guidance
I don't know where to go, where to turn
I sit here and wait
What am I waiting for? No one is going to come for me, no one is going to help me
Where should I go?
I'm tired of being lost, tired of never knowing where to go
I always felt like I was meant for something special, like I was important
But I'm not really good at anything
I'm good at screwing things up, and almost always saying the wrong thing
I'm not a good mother, everyone is always telling me
I guess I'm not a good girlfriend, nobody seems to want me, no matter what I do or how much I bend and change
I hardly ever lie, but no one wants to hear the truth
I hardly steal, and I give so much, and all people do is take and hardly ever say thanks
I hate life so much, but I don't want to die
I'm just lost, as always, and I don't know where to go
I know only I can change my life, and I thought I was
But here I am, again alone in this dark abyss, looking back on the memories of my sorry ass life
How do I get direction now that I'm so lost, which way is forward, which way is back?
So here I am in the dark, just surviving not living, watching everyone else living life and enjoying themselves, what do they know that I don't?
I guess I'll just sit here and wait, for what I'm not sure maybe death will be who saves me from this place, fuck I hate it here.
Melanie Nielsen 1-2008