Understanding Teenagers

                  Understanding  Teenagers
      Teenagers have a wide variety of emotional issues.
                        Here are just a few
* The changes that are happening to their minds and their bodies
* They struggle daily, trying to establish an identity
* Having to deal with friends (boyfriends/girlfriends) 
* All the positive and negative peer pressure
* They have school demands
* They may be part of a separation or divorce.
* They don’t like being accused of something they may or may not have done.
* They feel that their parents, teachers, neighbors etc, don’t like them or trust them, just because they are a teenager. 
* They feel as if they are constantly being treated unfairly
* They feel that they are not getting a chance to voice their opinions  (or that their opinions do not even count)
* They or someone they know, may have a chronic illness * Maybe the death of a loved one affects them more than we thought.
* Perhaps they are taking on too many activities or not enough
* Dealing with everyone’s high expectations
* There could also be sibling rivalry and or jealousy going on in their lives
* Bad experiences can affect them also

It's not surprising that our teens might become overloaded with stress. Thus coming across like they are totally out of control. Being a teenager, no matter what era, is extremely tough. Teenagers have poor coping skills. They are caught in the middle of being a child and becoming an adult. Getting angry is the only way they know how to avoid feeling sad, hurt, frustrated or afraid.
Teens also have unreasonable expectations, especially if they are used of getting what they want. This happens alot today as many parents are absent due to work demands. Thus providing everything to their children because of the guilt they feel for not being there for them. If these teens, suddenly do not get everything that they want, or they realize that things are not always within their control - they get angry.
Their anger can take many forms - some teens might repress their anger and withdraw, while others get defiant, destructive or turn to alcohol and/or drugs.
Various situations can bring out feelings of anger. Parents are often caught by surprise and react by either yelling or arguing back, ignoring what’s really going on, or punishing their teen for showing their anger.
Instead, parents need to see this show of anger or rage as a signal that their teen may be lacking problem solving skills, or is overwhelmed by the demands of his or her daily life. Find out what the problems are. You’ll be surprised that they have many. Far too many problems for such young people.
Communication, support, having an open mind and never giving up on your teens, while they are “struggling through the worst part of their lives” is what a parent should do. Set the rules, but be flexible. Discipline and follow through with the consequences of their behavior. Reward and acknowledge good deeds with praise and compliments. They need to know that you are proud of them and that you realize and accept how difficult these times are for them. Compromising seems to work better than just plain saying no. They need an honest answer.
They need love and not the kind that you can buy. Unconditional love, no matter what. In extreme cases some teenagers need a good dose of tough love. Remember that they are struggling to become themselves and at the same time they struggle with what you and everyone else wants and expects them to become. They don’t really want to fail anyone or themselves for that matter. They just want to be themselves. Unfortunately, teenagers haven’t had enough time in the real world to quite figure things out as fast as we want them too. So, above all be patient with your teen. Spend time with them and get to know their peers, their likes, their fears, their dislikes and anything else that you can find out about them. It'll will make your life and that of your teen's, a whole lot better.

Try not to worry too much or show your worry to them. Don’t be over dramatic or threatening. It only gives them the impression that you don’t trust them. And to them, Trust is one of their biggest issues. Trust them with the tools, morals, and values that you have provided to them. In other words trust yourself. Trust that you have provided all the essentials that is and will get them through this time in their lives.If you haven’t provided the proper parenting, then yes, by all means…you should be worried. But either way, they and you will survive this. We were all teens at one point in our lives. Different times yes, but still the same emotional issues were inside all of us.