My Mask

Oh what woe
What sorrow
What a lark
What fun
But no one understands as this smile hides my face
Why can’t someone see past the persona
Why cant anyone here me crying in the darkness
Screaming my sorrows into the night
I’m sick and tired of playing the fool
Playing happy
WHAT A MASK I WEAR
Non of you see … you never have
From the oldest to the newest friend
But all those who think they know me need to learn
They need to understand
But they won’t …. I won’t let them
Its my fault it all is
But its there’s too
This place that’s supposed to be a sanctuary
A place of safety love and light
This is supposed to be my home …. They don’t know
Not one of them knows what I go through everyday
Not one of THEM knows what they’ve done to me
Only once before has a razor looked so inviting as an option of escape
That is once before …. Before tonight
I’m not worth anything
This pain
Sorrow
Heartache
No one sees a feeling that runs through you like an iron spike
They only see the mask
And the smile that hides my face
Not worth loving and not worth the time or effort
I can never give the people I love myself
Because I know if i take away the mask I shall crumble and fall
Every hidden pain
Secret loss of self
All the horrors iv witnessed will become free
And it’ll destroy me
Destroy the very person you think you know
I will destroy the very person I hide behind the smiles
But for you I shall be destroying the mask
That’s all youl see
Youl weep for the false person
Or
Would you weep at all
So I have no choice
I must forever wear this persona
I shall forever be locked inside my mask
To save myself ….. No
To save you
The ones I love …Yes
To stop you seeing the crumbled black wreck that lies behind
To save THEM …. Yes
THEY couldn’t cope knowing what they’ve done
THEY couldn’t live with seeing the black, withered , torn ghost that’s me
That THEY created
Forever hidden
Forever trapped
Behind The Smile