Rhythm and scheme contest entry

I begged God Today

Dear God when is my turn to feel bliss?
When can all this anguish I miss?
I’m so very lonely and understood none,
Almost wish I could feel the hot gun.
Please help me to understand your lesson,
‘Cause I fucked up another love…why all the messin’?
I can only hope my life has some important reason,
‘Cause I’m wearing this pain in every season.
I’m not sure how much more you expect me to take.
I’m doing the best through and proud of me I will make.
Just send me a sign there’s a new love.
Please don’t make it a white dove.
He’s leaving me just when I feel it again.
Almost before the fucking relationship began.
I don’t get why you gave me him then took him back.
I’m ready for a toe tag and a black plastic sack.
I am sorry God I am just feeling so alone.
Tell him I love him…..if not then leave my heart ALONE!