Numb

Everything is hitting me all at once.
I don't know what I'm feeling.
It's not anger, sadness, nor relief.
I just feel numb,
But I know, the numbness will not be there for long.
And I was right.
As the numbness starts to subside,
I started to feel everything.
My heart feels like lead.
It feels heavy.
It feels like it's about to fall to the ground.
My eyes starts to blur,
Tears just starts falling like a rainstorm.
I couldn't stop it.
I couldn't control it.
My hands starts to shake,
Starts shaking like an earthquake.
My hands would open and close,
But the shaking won't stop.
Then my heart starts beating faster and harder,
Feels like it wants to jump out,
And crash into pieces on the floor.
My head is spinning with questions,
Questions I want to yell out,
But my voice feels broken.
And so I stay silent, deadly silent.
Then the numbness starts coming back.
And that's when I realize
What I was feeling.
I felt pain, emotionally, physically, and mentally.