Selfish Love

I recline at the back of my seat,
Pausing and thinking of you.

Why do I love you?
What makes me think I do?

Is it for real?
Or is it just an imaginary fad?

Listening through the upbeat tunes of superficial gaity,
I ponder to see if they bring any answers.

Did I love you for fun?
Because it is exciting to love and be loved,
Because you're funny and interesting.

Did I love you because of your smile?
A smile telling me that I'm wanted in this world.
To reaffirm myself that I'm doing okay.

Did I love you because I feared loneliness?
Fearing the isolation of not having company,
To not be able to share my joys and sorrow.

Did I love you because I needed someone to count on?
Counting on someone to clear away the doubts,
To sort me out during times of duress.

Did I love you because I needed someone to look after?
To fill in the void in my heart,
With a sense of purpose - the dignity of work.

What is this nonsense?
Why are the questions focused only on myself?

How selfish of me,
How egocentric I am.

I don't love you,
I love being in love with you.

In other words,
I love myself.