Tasting the Rainbow

You  know that Skittles commercial that tells us to "Taste the rainbow."?  Well, every time I used to hear that commercial it made me reflect on some of my exploits with other gay men.  You can see where my mind goes.  When I was younger I had a motto and a goal.  My motto was "Ain't no mountain high enough.". And my goal was to try and sleep with as many men, in as many shapes, sizes, and ethnicities as possible.  The ultimate goal being to sleep with an Inuit.  For me this was the Holy Grail of sexual conquests.  But first, I had to find an Inuit.  Being from and living in the South, this was like trying to find a unicorn...or, a non-racist Civil War reenactor.

So, in my early twenties the conquests began.  I started with the standard fare: white guys.  Sure, there were plenty of them, but it was pretty much like doing it with myself.  I guess it's always best to start off with what you know.  I mean the first few guys even looked kind of like me.  After messing around with a few other waspy (that would be White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) guys I decided to turn my sights to at least men that were a bit darker than myself.  I took a huge leap and went for brunettes!  Brunettes with fur, even!  Oh, now this was a turn on!  These guys had something I didn't have and gave me plenty of ground to explore.  The genie had been released from it's bottle!

Later, I  had a couple of opportunities to travel overseas and sample some foreign fare.  I soon discovered that this was truly where my tastes lay.  I sampled Brits.  I savored Hispanics.  I  swallowed Asians.  Goodness, the shapes, sizes, and varieties that prostrated themselves before me were boundless! 

There were younger guys, older guys, hairy guys, smooth guys, blue eyes, brown eyes, stocky builds, lanky builds, long dicks, short dicks...the options were endless!  They ran the gamut of the work corp. From hairdressers to construction workers. From retail queens to Marines.  It's true what they say about us being everywhere!  I was a pig and the world of men had become my slop bucket! 

When I first came out of the closet I was told by a family member that gay men are lonely and never lead happy lives.  Well let me say, I was as happy as a lark and was far from lonely!  I found that the gay men I was meeting were incredibly friendly and were more than willing to show me a good time.  And I had relationships.  They came in the same varieties that the men came in.  There were short ones, long ones, dark ones, and light ones.  It seemed to me that the person who told me that gay men were lonely and unhappy had not met the right gay men.  But then again, I think his only experience with gay men had been when he worked at a bar in Alaska that had been owned by a gay couple.  Maybe he had met a gay Inuit!

So, I did what most people do with advice and I ignored it.  I continued to live by my motto and continued on my quest to conquer the world (of men).  And I did so with vim and vigor until an amazingly beautiful Hispanic man came along and knocked me off my feet.  He was gorgeous!  And sweet.  And the best thing about him was that even though he was Hispanic he had been born and raised in the States so he sounded like he was White!  And when he grew a beard he looked Middle Eastern!  And at other times, people mistook him for Indian. This guy was a regular chameleon.  He could be all of my man fantasies at one time!  We've been together for eleven years now and there hasn't been one dull moment.  At times, he'll go stand naked in front of the fridge then come and cuddle up next to me in bed all chilly and covered in goose bumps.  He'll look me in the eyes, tell me his name is Chinook, and that he's a lonely Eskimo.  If that's not love, then I don't know what is.