Happy

                                                Happy

What does it take to be truly happy? If a number of people were asked the majority would likely say money, or material possessions. Rarely do we hear things like love, life and the ability to have the movements of our limbs working in sequence and accordingly. What is the true essence of ones happiness? Is happiness a state of mind or is it a requirement from some one else to give to satisfy another? I believe to be happy is a choice; in order to have true happiness my belief is that one must look within the depth of their soul to find their purpose in life and then from there evaluate that purpose to determine if it will be satisfying to their “happiness appetite” Happiness is a choice; it is ones soul responsibility to acquire a means of happiness. The path to happiness begins with choices. The choices we chose and the decisions we make plays a major part in ones goal for happiness. It happens all the time; people marry just for the sake of not hurting someones feelings knowing that they are incompatable, then ultimately the outcome becomes unhappiness, shortly thereafter divorce. We take on jobs that we really despise “but the money is so good” we say therefore we continue to go to these jobs daily not really giving it all we got, then we take the frustration out on our co-workers and then finally we bring the frustration home causing the home front to become off balance ruining everyone else’s happiness. Happiness can be contagious, depending on how it  manifest  happiness can spread through ones body like a cancer . But how do we seek true happiness, and once we obtain it how do we maintain it? Why do we allow people and things to have such an impact over us to where they become the vices to determine our happiness? My theory....  because instead of dealing with our own issues we tend to allow others and material possessions  determine our happiness instead of working hard to obtain it ourselves. It is much easier to be distracted by someone else because it takes the focus off of us doing a "self inventory" to delete the unhealthy items within our own lives and replace them with healthy items. It is difficult for one to spend time alone without the distraction of the Television, or stereo because that forces us to face the true essence of who we truely are. To spend time with self means we must disrobe and reveal our true identity and deal with the realities that perhaps are too painful to face. This is the time when we should be looking within ourselves to determine what avenues should be taken to make us have a life of true happiness. Money, and possessions are antidotes for short term happiness yet we continue to self medicate ourselves with these vices not to mention the use of drugs and alcohol. We turn to these things because we do not want to face what our "self inventory" will reveal about us.  We obligate ourselves to duties and situations knowing that we really do not want to partake in, yet when we commit we begin to regret doing so. Instead of being honest with oursselves and admitting “I really cannot obligate to that” we allow others to depend on us making it impossible to have time for ourselves. The telephone controls us, when it rings we rush to receive a call from someone who is impeeding on our time. We need to control things instead of allowing things to control us. Only then will we as a people maintain a level of true happiness.  We become consumed  as a people with worried and concerned about what others may think of us if we choose not to accomodate them. Acts such as this is toxic when striving for a happy life.We are concerned  with making someone else unhappy therefore we sacrifice our own need of happiness for theirs. Wow, how wrong is that. I was once the world’s number one “yes man” however; I’ve come to realize that while I was miserable doing what I really did not want to do for someone else, they were so happy! However, when it became my turn to be the recipient, to impede on someone else’s time and schedule more often than not I was denied. We should never sacrifice our true happiness for others, not even in marriages, with our children, and families and the hardest one of all …….. with our parents. This becomes especially hard when we become adults. It does not mean we love our friends and families any less it simply means that we have a right to say no to being inconvenienced unless it is a life or death situation. To allow things and people to have too much power over our lives and that causes us to sacrifice our happiness  In theory, to depend on someone else to determine whether we will be happy is not only non thearapeutic, but it is  also an unhealthy pratcice. It is unhealthly not only for the individual seeking true happiness, but it is also unhealthy for the individuals whom we depend  on to make our hapinness exist. This is not only unfair it is also a bad form of co-dependency, and a act of selfishness.  Because we are all imperfect people who fail daily at life’s task  it is impossible  to take on the task of satisfying everyones appetite for hapiness.  Each individual should be the one to acquire happiness for themselves and so, when a significant other, or friend, even our children use the phrase… “You make me happy” simply reply to them… “Neither I nor anyone else should hold the power to determine your happiness; however, I and others can be the sourcees to enhance the happiness you have found with in yourself.”