A Park? Or More? You Be The Judge

A Park?  Or More?  You Be The Judge



By M Paul Burress



As I drove across country in the morning sun, I was struggling to stay awake. I barely glimpsed the highway sign informing me that if my destination was Toad Suck State Park I would need to take the next exit. Instantly, my drowsiness was thrown aside and my mind yelled, “What was that?” “TOAD SUCK!”  As my mind begin wrestling with the name to reconcile the two words, Toad, and Suck and was forming a distorted mental picture of these combined words, YUCK MAN!  GROSS! GROSS! GROSS! I mean, just the term (‘Toad Lick’) makes you want to start spitting. Toad Suck!  What could these people be thinking? A dangerous chemical has surely gotten into the drinking water around here and wrecked thes peoples ever loving minds, How could anybody consider ‘Toad Suck’ to be an appropriate name for anything.



Approaching the exit I said to myself, “Now settle down boy”  “Settle down” leave a little room for the possibility that there is a legitimate reason for such a name,, like -- like -- like a local competitive sport or something, you know with championships and all, maybe trophies, blue ribbons, fireworks, Miss Toad Suck, the works. It suddenly occurred to me that I have no idea what the record might be for flattening a toad that way. YUCK man I said again and I wanted to spit! The winner might get a trophy but I’ll bet he don’t get to kiss the Toad Suck Queen. Actually, I’d say that the most undesirable female in the county wouldn’t stand for any more than a quick peck on the cheek from him. But then, who knows, it may make him absolutly irresistible.

At any rate, they have put their sign up for nothing. I am not going there, and I am almost afraid to know what it means. All I know is: the PETA outfit and that bunch of animal rights folks are missing a chance to intervene into something here, that has gone terribly, terribly wrong.