Rite of Passage

I often struggle with the idea of what my rite of passage was.  I struggled with trying to determine what was the one action in my childhood that marked my transition from child to adult.  Did I even have a story about growing up?

I did grow up hearing about and reading countless stories of children who were hit by their parents until the time the child turned around and hit their parents back.  They were old enough and big enough to speak out and act in their own best interest.  That was their rite of passage, their passage out of childhood and into adulthood.

I often joke that my measure of being an adult was very simple, you were an adult when you purchase your own toilet paper and light bulbs.  It made a lot of sense to me.  You weren’t an adult until you stopped supplying the necessities of life by shopping in your parents closet or at your workplace.  It doesn’t matter how old you are or how much you have in the bank, if your not purchasing your own light bulbs and toilet paper - you’re still a child.

I don’t have a story to tell of the first package of light bulbs or the first package of toilet paper I purchased.  It wasn’t this holy moment that changed my life forever, I only remember it was well after I had my own apartment.  I was living on my own and paying my own rent but still allowed others to supply me the items that keep the household running.  My mother would buy my cleaning supplies.  My friends and I would grab handfuls of toilet paper each day from work.  The light bulbs supplied by my landlord had not burnt out yet.  At this point in my life, I thought that grocery shopping could be done at the gas station. 

I was young and some people would say I was foolish.  But, I say I was still a child.  I thought I was taking responsibility for myself but in reality I didn’t understand what responsibility really was.  I had money to purchase the latest handbag and shoes but that was because I wasn’t making the adult choices.  I wasn’t supplying myself with the requirements of life, only the necessities. 

I’m not sure what drove me to it, but I found myself at the store buying the toilet paper and light bulbs I would need one day.  That shopping trip allowed me to cross the threshold into adulthood.  I stopped shopping for the fun and started to live an honest life.  I started to understand what responsibility was.  I started to act like an adult. 

My right of passage wasn’t an act that put me toe-to-toe with my parents.  It didn’t make me see myself as an equal to my parents or someone else.  It wasn’t a memorable experience that I will tell my children and grand-children about one day.  Instead, it was a quite moment, a quite experience that put me face-to-face with responsibility and the world.