Closure

      The girl sits staring at the boy, tears welling in her eyes. Her make-up stains her cheeks and sometimes she has to look away. The words that are being said hurt. Each syllable feels like a knife stabbing at her. But they have to be said. Their thoughts are pouring out, finally, leaving their minds clear, if only for a moment. She doesn't want ot let go when he embraces her. She wants this moment to last forever. His words transfixed her and she knew she would always love him. Every silence spent between them they would spend looking into each other's eyes. Despite the cold, her mind was far away.





      I didn't want to get in the car. I didn't want her to drive me anywhere. But it was to see him. They talked as she drove and I looked out the window. I sat as close to the door as possible because her clothes layed all over the backseat. We got to his house but too many people were there to be able to talk alone so we decided to go to the park. It was within walking distance but she drove us instead. When we got there I got out of the car and stood outside, turning away while they kissed. My eyes had already begun to water. She drove away and we walked toward the hamster wheel so at least we would be out of the wind. At first we didn't say anything, but he mentioned the dog we gave away and I couldn't help but cry.

      "Was it what I said about your dog, or is it me?" he asked.

      "Both," I admitted. I lifted my head from my hands and looked away from him. When I turned to look at him again he wiped my tears away with his sleeve.

      "See, I'm still taking care of you, wiping away your tears," he said.

      "First time in a long time." I remembered how whenever I used to cry in front of him he found ways to calm me down. For the rest of the two hours we had together we talked about the good and the bad memories. We talked about what went wrong and how "he fucked up." Most of the time I cried. He talked about my love being no comparison to hers. I told him why I blamed myself, because I couldn't be good enough for him and that explained the new scars. The feeling I got when I was in his arms was exactly the same. It was as if I never left them. This was probablt the last time I would be able to talk to him like this. It broke my heart even more to watch him walk away and even to drive away myself.

      When I got home, I realized my shirt smelled lile him. It was like a slap in the face. I got chaged and curled up in bed. I thought about everything we said and what menaing still lay behind it. Three hours of laying there and I still felt the icy wind on my skin. I fell aleep that night feeling like I was losing more of myself.