TEARS OF A POET...ONE LAST HURT

SOMETIMES WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO MAKE LEMONADE. BUT LIFE RARELY GIVES YOU SUGAR TOO SO ITS ALWAYS STILL BITTER. THATS HOW LOVE AND TRUST IS. WHEN YOU FALL FOR SOMEONE HARD AND THEN YOU FIND OUT IT WAS A FACADE IT REALLY HURTS. AND THATS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TONIGHT. LOVE IS SUPPOSED TO BE SO SIMPLE AND BEAUTIFUL, YET IT IS FILLED WITH BULLSHIT, LIES, DECEPTION, ABUSE, AND PAIN. HOW CAN WE AS A PEOPLE CALL THAT BEAUTIFUL? TONITE I WAS HURT BY SOMEONE I CARED DEEPLY FOR. I THINK PARTLY BECUASE I WAS LONELY, AND IN RETROSPECT IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE, BUT I DIDNT WANT TO SEE IT. ISNT THAT HOW IT ALWAYS IS THOUGH? WHEN HE WAS GONE I MISSED HIM. WHEN I COULDNT HUG HIM I STILL FELT HIS ARMS. BUT I KNOW NOW THAT HE IS IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE. YES I AM HURT. YES I WILL SHED TEARS. BUT I AM STRONGER THAN THAT. I WILL MAKE IT. I WANT TO FORGIVE HIM, AND I WANT TO BE WITH HIM STILL CALL ME STUPID, BUT I CARE. AND YOU DONT JUST STOP CARING IMMEDIATELY. I HURT RIGHT NOW. I WANT TO DRINK A LOT AND TAKE A LOT OF PILLS, BUT LIFE DOESNT GIVE ME THOSE CHOICES TO MAKE. HOW DO YOU STOP CARING, HOW DO YOU LET SOMEONE GO WHEN YOU HAVE NO ONE ELSE? I FEEL UNLOVED AND BETRAYED AND LIED TO. AND I JUST CANT BOUNCE BACK FROM THAT. I HAVE TO DECIDE FOR MYSELF TO SUCK THIS SHIT UP AND BE STRONG. BUT FOR THE WORLD TO KNOW ON MY BLOG, I LOVE HIM. BUT I LOVE HIM ENOUGH TO LET HIM GO AND BE HAPPY. SO TONIGHT I WILL SIGN OFF. SEE YOU ALL TOMMORROW.....