Reminiscence

What was this feeling of unpleasantness and bitter surrender? This feeling that so many women have longed for? Love, romance; soul mates.

Maybe one smile or two; a kiss or an embrace. A touch and a lightning shivering throughout the canvas of a body. A satisfaction with a name: Love.

Jisun couldn't ask for more.
Her heart so fragile and giving didn't understand why at this exact moment her fingers trembled. Why her guitar felt heavy behind her back. Why it seemed as if the world, her world, seemed to be going slower and yet so chaotic behind her eyes. Did it know her future? Her fate?

And yet she felt so calm.

Walking in between strangers Jisun didn't see her fortune walking pass her.

But this is her life you see; her destiny.

As her steps moved forward to her decided destination, she knew, oh she knew. She knew why she was there. She knew why her lovers eyes weren't looking at her. His face hidden into a maze of sadness and memories. Why at in that exact second her surroundings stood still.

"I'm sorry, J. This is it."

Air squeezed between her lungs.
Talk to him, she told herself, talk to him before the night shades in.

"I'm sorry Jisun. I don't feel it anymore. The sparks have faded and the butterflies have vanished. I can't keep this, here."

And with a glance and a ring left behind, he left, her last piece of hope. But why, she wondered, did all of a sudden her guitar felt lighter?

Her answer was beneath that moon.

He could have known; he could have looked. But he didn't know and he didn't look. He didn't see that silhouette beneath the sky waiting for him. That shadow so dark and lonesome with a ring on her hand. Though, he was so close.

"My ring. My ring."

He didn't have time to see, to pay attention to this mess of a woman whispering and searching for her lost memory; her ring.

He didn't see the tears rolling down her face as she walked away into a pit of strangers.

But he felt different today, you see.

In his chest he felt a sudden shock that shook all of him. He didn't know this feeling and that alone scared him. Why did the sun down on this particular day felt magical? Why did his lips, somehow, try to curl up? He didn't know and he wasn't curious either.

Enjoy this moment, he told himself. Enjoy this moment like you've never enjoyed any other moment before because once the morning comes all the magic will be gone.

Or so he told himself over and over again.

He felt it though. This melody so soothing and distressed, so grand and gray that somehow his being wanted more. The music notes flying high as they crescendo up and around his body as seconds pass by. What was this feeling? Happiness; melancholy joy.

This nameless melody.

The night came and brought many unexpected colors in the sky; many thoughts of love for Yoochun. But most of all it brought a fresh new emotion to him: Hope. Hope to keep on walking on that same road of redemption. He never really liked walking alone. He needed company of any kind, it didn't really matter to him.

But his mind, restless as it was, couldn't let that melody go just yet. That melody has that so much disrupted his peaceful mind. This melody that somehow took all of his attention that he didn't see a guitar case laying on the floor and made him trip. He was clearly annoyed at this. He had lost his balance and fallen flat faced into the pavement. So, much for a magical moment.

Who's guitar was this anyway? Probably a careless idiot distracted enough to have forgotten their vintage guitar.

He took the instrument and hugged it with his body and walked to the nearest empty bench. Yoochun was curious of the owner of this rare old instrument. He wondered how a musician could forget the reason for their occupation. As a musician himself, he felt the pain of feeling disconnected to his piano. Funny, he thought, that this particular material thing made him feel warm and giddy inside. He loved it for sure. The only love has he ever felt was for his piano, though he did have a couple of girlfriends before but he never really felt them as inspirations for a love song. Maybe not a love song, he wasn't that cliche. But he never saw them as a factors for those ravishing tunes his fingers have created. Women were too complex for his own good and they didn't really care for his soft side. He was better off walking alone without a nosy pathetic excuse of a girlfriend. Or wife in that matter.

Waiting and waiting in that pleasant bench his harmonious night felt never ending. Gosh, it felt so real and so blue but not so lonely that he would somehow want to have company. At this rate company or no company made to difference to him. He just wanted to shout to the world, Here I am! Take me as I am!

" You have my guitar there, mister."

Maybe next time.