Tiffany's Plight

Tiffany's Plight
Chapter 1


At 15, Tiffany was truly perfect. She had bright blue eyes, long blond hair which she was always spent at least fifteen minutes brushing in the morning, and she had always wore just the right amount of eyeliner and lipstick to school. Furthermore, she always chose her outfits perfectly, not that it mattered anyway because she always looked perfect in any outfit.

Yes, Tiffany was truly perfect. Everyone at school agreed. Whenever she walked through the halls between classes the boys would turn their heads and look at her, and at lunch she would always be surrounded by a group of girls who would listen to all of her opinions, because she was so perfect.

Well, there were some exceptions. Some girls like Doris Wilks didn't like Tiffany very much, but Doris Wilks had red hair, freckles, and a big nose, so nobody in the school, least of all Tiffany, worried about her opinions. Then there were the various grownups (teachers, parents, etc.) who thought that Tiffany would do well to spend a little less time socializing and worrying about her appearance and a little more time studying and worrying about her grades. Finally, there was her ten-year-old brother, Stuart, who called her obnoxious names and sometimes liked to throw dirt at her when she was walking home from school.

But all, in all, most people thought Tiffany was perfect and Tiffany, more then anyone else, agreed.

One evening, Tiffany was in her room talking on the phone with one of her friends when she heard a sort of coughing noise coming from inside of her closet.

Cough, sputter, wheeze "Oh for pete's sake! The things that I have to go through in this business!" Cough, sputter wheeze.

Tiffany was surprised. She looked at her closet.

The cough, sputter wheeze was still going on.

She looked at her phone. "Um. . . " she said to the friend she had been talking to, "I gotta go. I think Stuart is playing one of his dweeby pranks." She disconnected the call and walked over to the closet.

"Stuart? Quit fooling around and come out of there." She pulled the closet door open wide.

But Stuart didn't come out. Instead a frumpy middle-aged woman seemed to stumble out and come crashing onto the floor. Tiffany noticed that she was holding a silver wand in her hand, and stranger still, she had two wings coming out of her back.

"Oh for the love of Queen Mab!" said the woman still lying on the floor. "The things we have to put up with in this business! Can you help me up, kid?"

Tiffany didn't move. "Who are you? And what are you doing in my room?"

"Oh, well," said the woman, "I'm your fairy godmother."

"Fairy godmother? There is no such thing."

"Oh please, don't start with that now. Look, why don't you help me up and we can discuss this when I'm upright."

Tiffany helped the woman to her feet.

"That's better," said the woman, "now I'll have you know that there are such things as fairy godmothers and I am yours."

Tiffany wasn't sure how to answer that. She didn't really believe in fairy godmothers, but if this woman was one that would be pretty cool. "O.K." she said finally. "Does that mean that you can grant my wishes? Can you give me a cool new dress? Or a boyfriend? Or a car?"

The fairy godmother gave her a long look. "First of all, kid, you're too young to drive in this state. Second, you've got fairy godmothers figured all wrong. Granting wishes is just part of the deal. As your godmother, I also have a duty to help you grow into a decent woman."

"Oh, well, then you've got nothing to worry about. I'm a perfect little lady everyone agrees."

"On the contrary, I came here today, because I have it on good authority that you are a spoiled, conceited brat, and I am going to correct that."

"What? I'm not really spoiled. I'm just. . ."

"Never mind. I know exactly how to fix the problem. I'm going to turn you into a toad."

"A toad? That's so uncool!"

"And the only way to break the spell will be if a boy kisses you."

"But what boy would want to kiss me, if I'm a toad."

"You'll have to make him see the beautiful person you are inside."

"What?"

"Of course, you'll have to become a beautiful person inside first. That's the hard part in your case."

"But I--"

The fairy godmother waved her wand and Tiffany felt herself changing. She was growing smaller. Her hands and legs were changing green and scaly. She was now crawling on all fours, and instead of hands and feet, she had claws.

"Uh-oh," said the fairy godmother, "this actually isn't good. You're not a toad. You're a lizard. "

"A lizard? This is so bad! What will my parents say? I can't go to school like this. I'll miss cheerleader tryouts!"

"Calm down," said the fairy godmother. "It actually gets worse. You know how I said you needed a kiss to break the spell. Well, you're going to need five kisses to break this spell. I must have held my wand a little crooked."

"Oh this is great. Just great," said Tiffany. "Now what"

"I'm sorry," said the fairy godmother. "I have to go now."

"What are you crazy? Don't you dare walk out on me."

The fairy godmother stepped into Tiffany's closet. There was a loud crash. "Darn!" said the Fairy godmother walking back into the room. "I'll use the window." She opened the window and flew away.

Tiffany's Plight
Chapter 2

Tiffany stretched and looked around. She still could not believe that she was a lizard. Just to make sure that she was, she ran over to the full size mirror in her room. Looking back at her, was indeed a light green lizard. This is terrible, she thought. Now what am I going to do?

Sighing, she thought that she should start by getting out of her room, and out of her house. After all, if she was going to be kissed by five different men, she would have to go someplace where there were men.

Taking a deep breath, she ran out of her bedroom and into the hall. She was interested to notice that she could run much faster as a lizard then as a human. She had never liked sports very much, always preferring to cheerlead, but now she wondered if she could be on the track team.

After she had run down the stairs, she saw that her father was in the living room reading a book. She had always liked her father, mostly. After all, he was usually the one who would give her money for new clothes if she asked in a sweet enough voice. Of course now. . .

She wondered what he would say if she ran up to him. When she did, he looked up from his reading and said. "My God! How did that get in here?" Then he grabbed his square-shaped book and began trying to swat Tiffany with it.

Tiffany decided, she'd best run away from this. She immediately took off out of the front door leaving her father saying, "Blasted reptiles! Maybe we should call the exterminator."

Out in front of the house, she saw her mother. She must have been grocery shopping, because she was coming up the front sidewalk with two bags of groceries in her arms.

"Hello Mom," she said.

Immediately, her mother let out a loud scream and dropped all of the groceries. One of the bags had oval shaped eggs in it, which spilled out and cracked on the sidewalk.

"Oh, how I hate reptiles!" said her mother.

Well, that didn't go so well. Tiffany decided to keep running until she was safely away from her mother.

Just when she thought that she was in a safe place and was ready to catch her breath, she heard a terrible whizzing sound and turned to see the round wheels of a bicycle bearing down on her

To make matters worse, another bicycle came zipping behind the first one. People really should learn to ride more carefully, Tiffany thought.

Now Tiffany was getting hungry. She wondered if she ate the same kinds of things as when she was a human.

What did lizards eat? Probably something gross like bugs. Well, wait a minute, Tiffany reasoned, the fact that she still thought eating bugs was gross probably meant that she didn't eat bugs. But what did she eat?

Walking a little further up the street, she saw smelled a familiar smell and realized that she was approaching Luigi's Pizza cafe. Lots of boys had taken her there on dates. The smell of the pizza was making her hungry. I guess I do still eat the same things I ate when I was a human, she thought.

She went to the first table in the cafe, where a rather oily man was eating with a rather fat woman.

"So you see Imelda," said the man. "Herpetology is not only a fascinating science, but in my opinion a basic discipline unappreciated by most of the world."

Tiffany jumped up on to the table and landed right in the middle of the woman's triangular slice of pizza. Immediately, she realized she had made a mistake, because her legs had become stuck in the sauce and cheese.

The woman let out a shriek that was even louder then the one Tiffany's mother had made, but the man said, "My goodness, Imelda, do you know what that is? It's a very rare and wonderful specimen. I must have it. He clapped his hands over Tiffany and picked her up.

"There you are my precious specimen. I have a special place for you in my lab." Then he gave Tiffany a kiss and tossed her into a jar.

Tiffany wasn't sure whether to be thrilled or distressed. As she looked around the jar, she found herself saying, "Hey Fairy Godmother! Did that just count as a kiss?"

"I suppose," said the Fairy Godmother's voice, "we have to take what we can get with you. Yes, it counts. You only need four more to break the spell."

Tiffany's Plight
Chapter 3

Even though she now had gotten her first of five kisses, Tiffany knew that she was still in big trouble. The big fat man had taken her back to his lab and put her in a cage which was right next to a big orange and white cat.

"There," said the man when he had locked Tiffany's cage. "You can keep Perseus company until tomorrow. Then, I'm afraid, he'll be gone." He gave the cat a pat. "We're vivisecting you tomorrow, dear Perseus. Aren't you excited about finally doing your part for Science?"

Tiffany didn't think Perseus looked too excited about the idea. He let out a loud hiss.

The man looked a little bit annoyed. "Perseus, behave yourself," he said ruefully, "or I won't dissect you humanely tomorrow." Then he left.

Tiffany looked at Perseus partly because she did not know who else to talk to. "What am I going to do?" she asked. I'll never get changed back into a human again.

"Rooo," Perseus moaned.

"Yeah," said Tiffany. "I guess you've got problems too. How could anyone dissect you? You're so sweet."

"Rrrow," said Perseus, in a voice that sounded almost like a very sad thank you for the compliment.

Some time later, (Tiffany could not tell exactly how long) the man came back to the lab with a book, and a very small surgical tool. "Excellent lizard," he said. "According to this book, you may be a much rarer specimen then I previously thought. But if that is the case, you will have a very special pattern in your teeth. I'm going to yank your teeth out and examine them under the microscope. He opened the cage, and reached in to take Tiffany out.

Tiffany decided that if this guy wanted to examine her teeth, he could do it another way. She ran forward and bit him on the hand.

"Yeeah"," the man jumped back from the cage crying out in pain.

Thinking that it was now or never, Tiffany dashed out of the cage and was about to run for the door.

Then, she thought of Perseus, so she turned around and ran back to Perseus' cage and managed to get it open with her lizard hands.

Just then the man brought a jar down on top of her. "All right you," said the man, "I'm disappointed. You have obviously have no respect for Science-"

Just then he let out another loud yelp as Perseus leaped from his cage and began clawing at the man's eyes. "Help, Help," he cried. "I can't die. I'm too important to the advancement human knowledge."

Tiffany sighed and said, "That's enough, Perseus. Let's get out of this place."

"Row," agreed Perseus.

But before they left, Tiffany couldn't resist looking back at the man. "I think that you are the lowest scum imaginable," she said, "but thanks for the first kiss."

Tiffany and Perseus ran out of the lab until they were in the light of day. Perseus was glad to be out. He went over and licked Tiffany with his sandpapery tongue.

"Yuck!" thought Tiffany. Then, she realized something. "Hey," she said to the air, "Perseus is a male cat, isn't he? And you didn't say anything about species."

The resigned voice of the Fairy godmother came through. "That's true," she said. "I guess I didn't. Consider that your second kiss, kid. You only need three more."

"Hooray!" said Tiffany out loud.

Tiffany's Plight
Chapter 4

Tiffany and Perseus both ran from the lab. Tiffany felt a little bit better because she now had two of her five kisses. Maybe the remaining three wouldn't be so hard to get after all.

She and Perseus decided to run school. When they got there, Tiffany realized that it was the late afternoon which meant that after school sports would probably be going on. That gave her a wicked idea. She ran to the school building and saw an opening that led to the gym. "You'd better stay here," she said to Perseus. "A lizard can probably go in there without being noticed, but a cat will almost certainly attract attention."

"Row!" agreed Perseus.

"I'll be right back." Tiffany left Perseus and slipped into the gym. Moving slowly, so as not to attract attention, she walked to a door which had always been forbidden. The boy's locker room. She slipped in. It didn't smell very nice, but when she creeped into the shower area, she saw what she had hoped for. Several boys, all of them jocks, including a really hot boy named Jason Moore whom Tiffany was hoping would ask her to the next school dance, were standing naked under streaming hot water. Tiffany thought she had died and gone to heaven.

"So Moore," said one of Jason's friends, "what babe are you going to take to the dance? Tiffany Richards?"

Tiffany perked a little bit at the sound of her name.

"I don't know," said Jason. "Lately, Tiffany Richards has been acting kind of flaky."

"She's an ass and first rate set of knockers. Who cares if she's flaky?"

Tiffany choked. Was this how guys normally talked about her?

"Point taken," said Jason. "Anyone who dates Tiffany for enjoyable conversation doesn't have much to look forward to."

Point taken? Tiffany was beginning to wonder if anyone actually felt respect for her.

"Look," said Jason, "if I told you a little secret, would you promise not to let it get around."

"Cross my heart," said his friend.

"I'm thinking about taking Doris Wilks."

Doris Wilks? The girl with freckles and the nose.

His friend sounded just as incredulous. "That dog?"

"She's not so bad. You know she's trying out for the girls' track team. She actually looks cute in shorts, and you'll have to admit, she's got a better brain then Tiffany."

That did it! Without thinking what she was doing, Tiffany ran into the shower area to get a better look at Jason.

It had an unexpected result. Jason turned pale white, and backed away in terror. "Uggh!" he cried. "How did that get in here?"

"Hey, relax," said his friend. "It's just a tiny lizard."

"I don't care!" said Jason. It shouldn't be in the locker room. Get it away from me!"

Tiffany decided to get out, before someone tried to chase her out. Still, she couldn't believe what had happened. Who would have thought Jason Moore was such a coward?

When she got outside, she said Hello to Perseus. Then, she decided to head over to the field, because she realized that the girls' track team was holding a practice. They were taking turns running a 50 meter dash, and sure enough, Doris Wilks was among them. Well, maybe she did look good in shorts. Her legs were certainly long enough, but Tiffany still couldn't believe any boy would want to date her.

"Doris," called out the girls' coach. "You're up. " Doris walked to the starting line. Then Tiffany had a strange idea. She walked over to the starting line herself and stood next to Doris. Fortunately, nobody seemed to notice.

"Go!" called out the coach as she hit her stopwatch. Doris ran and Tiffany raced alongside of her. Well, at first alongside of her. Being a lizard, it didn't take Tiffany long to outpace Doris by quite a few meters. She crossed the finish line at least five seconds ahead of Doris.

Doris meanwhile crossed the finish line and the coach was ecstatic. "Doris!" she said as she looked at her stopwatch. That was the best time we've had all year!" Doris blushed and accepted the high-fives of the other girls.

There, thought Tiffany, if Doris had the best time all year, my time must have been unbelievable. She tried to derive some satisfaction from the thought of that. Too bad talking lizards aren't allowed on the track team.

Then, she saw a boy standing by the bleachers. Not a particularly attractive boy. Tiffany recognized him as Jeremy Smith. He was definitely one of the least popular boys in school. What would he be doing watching the girls' track team?

"Should we check that kid out?" she asked Perseus.

"Row Row," said Perseus. The two walked to where Jeremy was sitting. Now, Tiffany could see that he had a very sad expression on his face. In the past, she would have ignored someone like this as both gross and too depressing. Now, she felt the need to find out what was wrong.

"um Hello," she said.

Jeremy seemed to become alarmed. "Did you just talk to me?"

"Yes, but please don't get upset. It's really nothing serious."

Jeremy looked at Perseus. "Does he talk too?"

"Rowww," said Perseus disdainfully.

"No, he just helped me escape from the science lab."

"The Science lab? This really sounds like something I should report to the authorities!"

"No, wait!" Tiffany decided the best tack would be to change the subject. "We were just wondering why you were so sad."

It seemed to work as Jeremy sank back into his old sadness. "Well, I want to tell someone and I guess you're not going to go around blabbing it. I really like one of the girls on that team."

Oh, thought Tiffany. This wasn't as interesting as she had thought. Still, she thought she'd ask, "Which one?"

"That red head, Doris Wilks."

Doris Wilks?

"I'm not very popular," Jeremy went on, "but I thought that maybe I could date her, because she's not that popular, but now that she's on that team, I guess even she's out of my league."

Doris Wilks? This could not be happening to Tiffany. There were now at least two boys in the school who liked Doris Wilks and none that liked her. Tiffany wondered where she went wrong.

Then, she had another idea. "You know, I just might be able to help you with this."

"How would you do that?" asked Jeremy.

"I can think of a possibility, but if I did help you, would you do something for me?"

"Like what?"

"Well, I know it sounds a little strange, but would you kiss me?"

Tiffany's Plight
Chapter 5

Jeremy had been a little bit apprehensive about kissing a lizard, but Tiffany managed to convince him that if she helped him win Doris from Jason, he would give her a kiss. Then, she told him that she would meet him tomorrow at lunchtime.

"There," she said to Perseus as they walked away . "Now, I've got a third kiss promised. I just need to get two more and I'll be a human again.

"Mrow?" asked Perseus. "

"I know being an animal isn't so bad for you," she said to Perseus, "but for me it's getting to be wretched."

The two were passing by a bus stop, when she heard a very sad voice which sounded like it was sobbing. "Tiffany was right," sobbed the voice to itself.

The sound of her own name made Tiffany stop and look at where the voice was coming from. It was a boy who was sitting by himself on the bus stop bench and looking very unhappy. Tiffany recognized him as the David Parker, a boy not quite as unpopular as Jeremy, but certainly unpopular enough for most people's taste.

"Hey," she said scrambling up to him. "Can I help you with something?"

David looked stunned. "What the? Did you just talk?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm a talking lizard. That's starting to get old now. Deal with it. Actually, I think it would be more interesting to talk about you. What is it that you think Tiffany was right about?"

David seemed to forget that he was stunned and became sad again. "Tiffany is this girl in my school. She said that I should go join a monastery, because no girl will ever want to go out with me."

Tiffany remembered the day she had said that all too well. At the time, she had thought it was a fun thing to say to an obnoxious boy like David, but now it seemed mean.

"I'm--I mean I'm sure Tiffany is sorry that she said that."

"Yeah, right. She's never sorry about anything, and anyway she was right."

"Now, don't be silly there must be someone who would date you. You just need to ask."

"I did. Sheila Jones said that she'd go to the dance with me."

Sheila Jones? Tiffany had always thought she was a little ugly, but now Tiffany thought that she might be pretty in her own way. "Well, that's great! You see, Tiffany was wrong already."

David shook his head. "That's not the point. I know I'm going to make a fool of myself at the dance. I'll step on her feet or spill punch on her, or worse what if I try to kiss her and she thinks it's gross?"

Tracy thought about that. Then the word kiss gave her an idea. "Hey, I could help you with part of that."

"How?"

"Well, I could teach you to kiss."

"Eh?"

"Sure." Tiffany climbed up to his shoulder. "Now," she said, "why don't you give me your best kiss?"

"You? You're a reptile!"

"Oh come on. I'm trying to help you."

David shrugged and kissed Tiffany. "No, come on," said Tiffany, "like you mean it."

David gave her another longer kiss.

"Oh Yeah," said Tiffany, "you got the right idea now. Just keep doing that and you'll knock Sheila off her feet."

"Really?"

"Really."

Tiffany walked away feeling very pleased with herself.

"Mrow?" asked Perseus.

"Well, really it's hard to tell. A human and a lizard can't make out, but he's got confidence now, so I think he'll do O.K."

"Indeed," said a voice. It was the fairy godmother. "I must say that I'm impressed. You're actually doing good deeds now. And you got your third kiss."

"Actually, he did kiss me twice," said Tiffany hopefully.

"Doesn't count," said the voice. "The deal was for five different boys to kiss you. You need two more.

Tiffany's Plight
Chapter 6

"Now," said Tiffany to Perseus, "We don't need to be back in the school until tomorrow. And I still have no idea how to get the last kiss, but I think that we may as well spend the night at home as here. I mean, as long as we keep a low profile and don't let my parents spot us, the way they did before, we should be O.K. Sound good?"

"Mrow," said Perseus, and the two went back to Tiffany's house.

When they got there, Tiffany said, "Actually, I think you're going to have to spend the night out here. You're too big to hide the way I can."

"Rowwww!" said Perseus sadly.

"Sorry, but hopefully the weather will be good. And I promise, I'll meet you first thing tomorrow."

"Row," Perseus seemed to assent.

Tiffany sneaked into the house , when the door was open and quietly climbed the stairs to her room.

In a way, being there depressed her, because the room which had once been her favorite place was now big and hostile, but she climbed up to her bed and sat on the blanket . It was still comfortable anyway, so she decided to try and get some sleep.

When she woke up, the house was dark and quiet. Everyone must be asleep, she thought. But then she heard a strange sound. Like someone sobbing. Her brother, Stuart's, room was right next to hers and it sounded like him crying. But that was not like him. She decided to go next door and investigate.

When she got to Stuart's room, she found that she was indeed sitting in bed under the covers and sobbing softy.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Hey, what are you?"

"Talking lizard. Deal with it, "said Tiffany jumping onto the bed. "What happened? Why are you crying?" Tiffany had discovered that the best way to get someone over the shock of seeing a talking lizard was to ask about their problems. Usually, it made them less focused on her.

"I just woke up," said Stuart, "and look what happened?" He pointed to a spot on the sheet . It was wet with a sticky substance. "I feel so bad."

It took Tiffany a moment to understand, but when she did, she said. "Stuart, that's nothing to worry about. It's called a wet dream."

"Wet dream?"

"Sure, I guarantee that some boys in your school got them already, and those that haven't will soon enough. It means you're turning into a man."

"Oh," said Stuart. He seemed to feel a little bit better. "Well, you've been real helpful. I wish my family were more like you."

"Your family? You have nice people in your family. What about your big sister?"

"Please," said Stuart with a bitter laugh. "She's a spoiled bitch."

"Now that's not fair. She loves you very much."

"How do you know?"

"Um. . .Well I would just imagine."

Stuart groaned. "Trust me, you don't want to worry about her. She's not worth it. Thanks for the help." He paused. Then, with a smile, he picked up Tiffany and kissed her on the nose. Then he went back to sleep.

"Oh great!," said Tiffany as she left the room. "My brother! Does that count?"

"Of course," said the voice of the fairy godmother. "You know, this spell is really doing you good, if I do say so myself. You just need one more kiss."

"And I get that tomorrow," said Tiffany happily.

Tiffany's Plight
Chapter 7

The next day Tiffany met Perseus outside, and the two walked to school.

"Today, I become human again," she said excitedly.

"Mrow!" said Perseus.

"I hope my parents let me keep you," she said.

When they got to school, they found Jeremy.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

"I guess," said Jeremy. "In fact, Let's get going. I think that Jason is talking to Doris right now."

The two found Jason standing next to Doris' locker making conversation, which, considering the expression on Doris' face, she seemed to be enjoying.

Tiffany quickly nodded at Jeremy, then she raced forward so that she was in plain view of Jason and Doris.

"Ewww!" cried Jason. "Look at that!"

"Look at what?" said Jeremy walking over.

Jason pointed to the ground. "Look at that! I saw one of those in the shower yesterday! The school really needs to get an exterminator."

Jeremy looked at the ground and pretended to be surprised. "This," he said picking Tiffany up, "is just a tiny lizard. I can't believe you're so scared of it."

"Gross! Keep it away from me!"

Jeremy laughed and looked at Doris. "Can you believe that guy?"

Doris paused for a long moment. Then she said, "You're the one I can't believe."

Tiffany choked. She hadn't expected that.

"That thing is disgusting! I can't believe you're holding it. Jeremy, you're a creep. Now, get that thing out of here." She walked closer to Jason. "It's O.K. Jason. Were you about to ask me something?"

Jeremy sullenly carried Tiffany away to a quiet part of the hallway. "I'm sorry," said Tiffany. "That didn't go the way I planned it."

"It's O.K," said Jeremy. "It's not your fault."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah. Look at it this way. You were trying to help me hook up with a girl." Jeremy gave a bitter laugh. "I could've told you that always fails."

Now, Tiffany really felt bad, but at the same time, she felt something else. Then she had a crazy idea.

"Jeremy," she said. "If you and I are really O.K. now, could I still have my kiss."

"I don't understand why you want it so bad."

"I think you will in just a minute."

"Well, I don't see why not." Jeremy gave her a kiss.

There was a flash of light, and Tiffany thought she heard her Fairy Godmother's voice say, "Congratulations!"

She was now a girl again. Jeremy was astonished. "Tiffany? What the?"

Tiffany put her arms around Jeremy's neck. "Look at it this way. I could waste my breath explaining this, or I could thank you by kissing you the human way." Without bothering to wait for an answer, she stepped forward and put her tongue in his mouth.

After she was done, Jeremy was surprised, but smiling.

"Well, I guess I can wrap this one up and get back to my studying," said a voice.

Tiffany turned to see the Fairy Godmother standing before her. Oddly, she was dressed in a modern pinstripe businees suit.

"Oh," said Tiffany. "I guess I should thank you." She looked at the Fairy Godmother. "Why are you dressed like that? What studying?"

"Oh well. You see the truth is that with all the craziness I caused you, I'm really not cut out to be a Fairy Godmother, so I thought that I'd go for my Insurance agent's license.

"That's terrible!" said Tiffany. "You did a great job!"

"Really?"

Tiffany looked at Jeremy.

"Uh Excuse me," said Jeremy stepping forward, "None of this makes much sense to me, but is she saying that you're the reason she's all over me right now."

"Well, sort of," said the Fairy Godmother.

"Then, I agree with Tiffany. You did a great job. You should forget about being an insurance agent."

The Fairy Godmother looked delighted. "Well, then I will. I'll fly right out of here, the way a proper fairy godmother should."

She backed to the end of the corridor, took a running start, and raced to the exit.

There was a loud crash followed by a loud scream.

Tiffany cringed. "I hope she'll be all right."

Jeremy nodded. "So, about the school dance. . ."

"Yes!" said Tiffany.

"Wow," said Jeremy. "That was actually pretty easy."

"Sure. Well, I'd better get going. I've got a new cat to check on, and my parents are probably wondering where I've been, so I'll see you soon.

Tiffany picked up Perseus , who seemed to still recognize her and walked off feeling like a much more perfect young woman then she