That feeling

Do you know that feeling when you are completely alone, even when there are people around you, your friends, your family, somehow this doesn't seem enough, you want more, you are not connected enough to that world, and even alone you don't feel whole, you never felt it, not once in your life , and you keep wondering why, the reasons were never obvious, people can hurt you so easily, is that because of you?

You are too sensitive and fragile, or is it because of their cruelty and coldness?

Well that's one thing, there is always your relationship with god, Jesus Christ, your savior, even though you are sure he is the one who can save you from your fears and doubts, you never let him take full control of you and your life, so you remain that way, lost in between, unable to reach him and unable to reach people expectations

In the end you are sure in their eyes you will never be good enough because honestly no one is or will be, because no one is perfect, we all do mistakes and people around you judge you by what you have done and who you are. Only Jesus Christ loves you and will always love you no matter what you did, what you do and what you will do, simply because you are his son and he created that big world for you and me, but we still can't see that we have to give our hearts and souls only to him, he is the only way, the only hope, the only perfect love you can get.

Yes people may love you but once you do something so horrible they will change and it's not their fault it's because they are humans and that's all that they can do, they are weak too and they won't handle your mistakes, if they did that once, they won't do it always, only him, he is capable of carrying your burden and he is the only one who can erase your past and your mistakes, you can change who you are, starting from this point on , you can say no to your broken doubts and thoughts, say you believe in Jesus Christ , say that you are sure you are going to be saved by his holy light .

You are not perfect and the chances are you are going to fall, too many times, but just knowing that he will always be there to lift you up is comforting.

There is ugliness in the world you choose to see and at the same time you refuse to look at the beauty surrounding you, everything is beautiful , even if it looks so simple and you see it everyday, you are going to have to stop and appreciate it , he created that for you, that sun, that grass, the beautiful blue sky and sometimes the grey sky with the clouds , everything is magnificently spectacular, but you still choose to run and hide in your computer and television , not enjoying any of this ,you and I are living in this digital world that's harming us more than doing any good , I mean addicted to the internet , to that disease facebook, it can be useful but we are misusing it so it became an addiction we can't control, that and so many things.

Religion isn't rules to obey, it's a way of life , the sooner you understand this the better I mean it has to affect your daily decisions and choices , if it doesn't, then what's the point of following it?

I found myself obligated to reach people expectations and honestly it isn't getting me anywhere, I'll never be beautiful enough, clever enough, strong enough , bottom line I'll never be good enough, so I can just say I will give up, right? NO

Like I said before only in god's eyes you are good enough , so by saying that , if you reached out for god and hold onto him through every situation that you meet, he won't leave you alone , not that only , but he will give you his blessing that you can gain people admiration too.. make Jesus be your first and you will succeed in everyway.