Title too long to put here (See inside)

I had forgotten I had started this fictional blog some years back. It was about one Ponduc, (Herb), Mishat Nashpoobawietii, a male, 110 year old, M'wkigistan goat herder, who had lost one of his slippers. I see it's almost identical to my Ashud Pantcalla Borka Pash in Antwerp blog, except Ashud is from Lower Yackum, not M'wnkigistan, he isn't 110 years old, nor a goat herder, nor has he lost his slipper, but except for all that, it's virtually the same. I'm outraged! I've obviously plagiarized myself. I should sue. Unfortunately I forget which fake blog I wrote first, so I'm not sure which is the original fake blog and which is the fake fake blog. I don't know which one to be mad at. Life can be complicated at times can't it?

Here then is a few snippets of Ponduc, (Herb), Mishat Nashpoobawieti's blog. You'll have to decide for yourself which fake blog is worthy of your praise and wonderment and which you should despise.





Ponduc, (Herb), Mishat Nashpoobawieti's Blog Snippets


About me...Hmmm. What's to say? I like not carrying water five miles a day. (Who does?) I like watching clouds, making snow angels and sleeping.

Hometown...I live in a hut. No other huts for miles around. Just mine.

Interests...Finding my missing slipper.

Favourite TV shows...TV?

Favourite Movies...Movies?

Favourite Books...I have never read any, but I imagine I'd like books about a 110 year old M'wnkigistan goat herder who finds his missing slipper.

Favourite Quotes..."M'wnkigistan...it's not nearly as replusive as it was in 1923"



Entry #1...What To Do?

I smell smoke. I think I slept too close to the fire last night. I hope my pants aren't burning again. I hate starting the day like that.

Entry #2...Busy, Busy, Busy

Today I'd like to press some wild flowers, practice my bird calls and then find some firewood, but first I have to go get water to put out my pants fire.

Entry #3...Today

Today is a good day. Today I'm wearing my lucky underwear. Today I'd like to alaphabetize all my goats. Today I plan to look under that big rock by the stream. No. Not that rock. I don't mean the rock by the mountain stream. I mean the rock by the stream in the gully. Yes. That's the one. Today someone came by and talked to me. Awww. Today is a good day.

Entry #4...Hopping Sucks

I wish I could write about my exciting rock turning adventure but I never made it to the gully stream to look under the big rock. I'm sooooooo slow these days with only one slipper. I'm having to hop everywhere on one foot. I'd now like to practice my counting...eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen. That's enough counting. I don't want to get fined by the M'wnkigistan Department of Unnecessary Counting...again. Must go now. I see a very interesting cloud headed this way. Later dudes.

Entry #5...My Next Newest Entry

Please ignore my last newest entry. This is now my newest. Want to hear something weird? I'm writing this in English. Why is that weird you say? It's weird because I never realized I knew English. I really don't hear it much...what with being a lonely M'wnkigistan goat herder. I must have learnt English while I was sleeping or something...or maybe I've known it for years and just forgot I knew it. Stuff like that is always happening to me. I guess it's par for the course when you're 110. Want to guess my favourite number? If you do guess it could you please tell me what it is. I've forgot. I feel almost naked without a favourite number. I must write it down...but that won't work coz I don't have any pockets. If I was rich the first thing I'd do is buy some pockets and get a new favourite number. Oh oh. Gotta go. I see an interesting cloud coming my way.

Entry #6...Farruk You Pissant!!!!

I'm mad at my idiot nephew, Farruk. At least I think it's Farruk I'm mad at. Somebody has been messin' with my false teeth while I was sleeping...again! There are new bite marks on my walking stick and splinters in between the teeth. They hurt my mouth. The false teeth are also sticky this time. They're covered with some kind of disgusting goo. It tastes horrible. I hope I can get used to it.

I'm not a happy goat herder.

Entry #7...Turnips Make Me Fart

Today I think I will get a pet. I think a pet would be good. My pet choices are limited here however. Yaks or goats. That's pretty much it. I think I'll go for a goat...seeing as I already have hundreds of them anyways and I don't like yak droppings...especially since I'm hopping around with only one slipper lately. I'm not crazy about hopping in yak crap. I've decided a goat it is. I have the perfect one in mind. I think I'll call her Ufsha...or Bikqat...or Tiffany. Yes. I like Tiffany. Tiffany it is then. I was going to eat Tiffany but now I won't. She'll be my new pet instead of next week's stew. I wonder if she knows any tricks. I wonder if she can do impressions. We'll see.