Shadow of the day

Shadow of the past



It was not the usual Saturday morning as I drove my jeep back home to Mumbai. I had completed my training from Maharashtra Police academy in Nashik. Dressed up in a khakhi uniform bearing the two stars with a red and blue ribbon at the outer edge of the shoulder straps I walked with my chest high to meet my mother whom I missed all these months due to the training. As I knocked on the door there was no response, I waited for another couple of minutes and knocked again. There was gentle movement and I could hear someone struggling to open the door, so I pushed my hand ahead and pulled the door towards my side. It was my granny she was ecstatic to see me and she shouted in her soft tone, “Mandira, come here fast”. Mandira was my mother Although 40 she was no less compared to any actress such as Juhi Chawla or Madhuri Dixit. She switched on the lights in the room as she came running to hold me. It was a feeling I had missed all these months, she hugged me so tightly I knew that she missed me more than I did.



I had a shower as I looked at my wrist watch it was nearly 8’oclock, and it was extremely beautiful to come back home in the midst of my family.



“Where is papa?”



“He is posted in Thane” replied mom.



“Well so he won’t be coming home today”



“I longed to see our family once again eating together”



“Mom, well I guess we were together this summer, weren’t we?”



“Don’t take papa’s side, anyways all the police men are the same they are married to the job, you men only require us women to cook”,



“Mummy if you were not there who could put things proper, how we could ever find our shoes, uniform, books and most of all how could we ever find ourselves.”



“Don’t pamper me; you always know I will always fall for you”.



She was beautiful when she blushed I kissed her on her forehead as I left the kitchen to meet granny who was seated on the couch waiting for me to come and talk with her. She was intelligent for her age, watching the news very attentively and listening to our conversation at the same time.



“So you finally came to me, I thought you forgot this old lady existed”.



“How can I forget you Granny, without you and Grandpa my mom would never exist? Neither would I.”



“You are very naughty”



“Just like you.”



I watched the television for a while as usual could not find anything interesting to watch so I went to my room, switched on the net on my computer and browsed in search of my common friends and sent out some messages online when suddenly a pop up box emerged from the corner of the screen, it was one of my class mates. So I sent out a message from my chat box.



“Hey, is it Paul?” I exclaimed



“Hey, Sanju I have seen you online after a long time” Paul replied



“Yeah, after graduation I appeared for the Civil Examinations held by the UPSC.”



“Just like your papa”



“Yeah I have cleared the training will be ready for posting within a week”



“Congratulation, pal”



“What have you been doing lately?”



“I have completed my engineering from IT, and working for an reputed company in Pune”



“Well, congrats to you I hope you do very well”



“Have you heard about Sunil?”



“Sunil Bhangi....only I used to call him Bhangi”



“Yeah….your best friend …”



“Paul, I had learnt a lot from him, he was topper in our school, a brilliant student in Maths and Science”



“He topped the senior college with distinction too.”



“Yes, do you remember how we use to envy the marks that he used to secure?”



“Yes, especially securing 75% in final year of Science.”



“Yes Paul, he used to write to me quite often on emails and even used to send me letters when I was in the Police training camp. So where is he working nowadays?”



“It’s been a year Sanju, I haven’t heard from him although I studied along with him.”



“Well, don’t worry about him he will get a job anywhere with good salary I know him quite well”.



“Sorry Sanju, last I heard about your friend was, that he use to take drugs outside our engineering college”



“What..?



“He couldn’t bear the fact that he failed in the engineering exams that is what I have heard from the group of my friends.”



“I can’t believe it”



“Yes it’s true; I don’t know his whereabouts anymore”



“Well, you better be in touch”



“Take down my number”



“Sure” I jolted down his number on a piece of paper as seen on the chat box.



“Anything for you, Inspector Sanju”



“Just Sanju, .take care”





I closed the chat session quite baffled from what I heard about my friend Sunil, we were very close friends he was one of the few friends who was in touch with me after college. Last I did remember him telling me that he had fallen in love with a girl from his colony that he started liking a lot. He was from the lower caste, studied with big difficulties to complete his college.  Still I remember those childhood days his father would drop me home in his bicycle. His father a postman, was proud of his son, well I never could surpass him in his studies he had a brilliant mind of a mathematician who could solve any equations put to him. Many questions were filled in my head. 



What prompt him to change his behaviour? Was it love or circumstances?



It was a difficult question which only Sunil could answer. I had my dinner and had to sleep quickly to wake up early, as my posting was scheduled anytime in the week.



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It was 6 am as I woke up to my mother saying the morning prayers. It was a beautiful day with the sun trying to enter the hall with its blazing glory. Suddenly the phone rang and I answered it.



“Inspector Sanjeev Mhatre, you have to report to duty from today, your posting will be at Thane. Please meet Senior Inspector Ranjan Mhatre for your assistance”



“Thank you, sir”



I was quite happy to get the posting with my Dad beside me. But on duty he never used to take family into consideration he was professional by nature and honest in his work. I was indeed proud of him I never wanted to follow him in his profession but I admired the courage and pride he took in his work. I will work with pride just like him because in his eyes I was better than him.



I had my breakfast which was fit for the king, without wasting any further time I had a wash and got dressed up in my Khakhi uniform took the Jeep keys from my drawer and before leaving I took the blessing of my mother and granny. I could see their eyes filled with tears as I left them behind.  It took me nearly an hour to reach my destination. As I stepped out of the Jeep it was a scene I recalled as a child I used to visit my father every weekend and watch him work in this police station. And the constables used to feed me sweets and eatables. Today I stand as one among them and was no more a child. As I walked towards the entrance of the Police station; standing at the entrance was person filled with pride waiting to hug me.



“I waited for this moment a long time, Son, as a head constable once I have been promoted to this position of assistant police inspector due to lot of hard work and sweat. But it is all worth it for this day watching you enter as a sub-inspector”.



“Thank you, Papa”



As he hugged me tightly, he murmured in my ears, “You are 10 minutes late; the Commissioner of Police will be here soon.”



I entered the Police Station and was given the due respect from everyone in uniform as I was offered the cabin where I would be taking in charge. I was filled with pride as I took my place, constables around me brought sweets and started distributing around saying their son has arrived as an Inspector. Suddenly I get a call on my mobile, I should not be using the phone at work but I was given the freedom to use the phone only for emergency; it was Paul on the line.



“Hey Sanju, sorry to bother you, Sunil is in trouble he wanted to meet you, he called me up this morning”



“Sure, give me his number”



“Here take his number 9867767749.”



“Bye”



I dialed his number and for a minute there was no network coverage. As I asked myself what has happened to my friend Sunil, I wanted to ask him so many questions, we were best of pals, lived in the same locality went to the same school. He had a dream to drive in Mercedes Benz, have a place in rich locality of Bandra. Was his dream just made up of stories?.



I dialed the number once again I could hear the dialer tone, I stood up and started walking around while talking on the phone, I still could hear the dial tone but there was no one lifting the call but my eyes fell onto the desk in front of me with phone over it. So I dialed Sunil’s number once again, the phone on constable’s desk started to vibrate continuously on disconnecting my phone the phone on the desk stop vibrating.



I walked towards the desk where the constable was seated; he was busy having his morning tea.



“Why are you not lifting the call?”



“It’s not my phone, Sir.”



“Whose is it?”



“Its phone of the youth whom we caught today trying to run”



“Can I meet him?”



“Yes sir, your father is interrogating him Sir in cell no 4.”



I swiftly walked towards cell no 4, at that moment my dad stepped out of the cell, bearing a confused look on his face as he showed me the person behind bars it was Sunil. It seemed as if he had not shaved for months neither he had a proper haircut but wore a terrified look on his face and carried a bag along with him which was confiscated by the constables.



“Son, that’s Sunil, i can’t believe myself”



“What are the charges laid on him?”



“He raped a girl”



For a minute I was bemused but I wanted to meet him personally so I entered the cell and probed him. It didn’t last for a minute before Sunil broke down in tears in front of me, I wanted to hold him but I could not show my feelings on duty, he suddenly wiped his tears and told me that I was looking good in my uniform and he was proud to have a friend like me. Few moments I had lost myself trying to figure out who I was; a friend or a police. But I regained my composure and looked in his drooping eyes and probed him again.



He had fallen in love with a girl from his college, but as he was from lower caste she told him that his parents would never accept him. So he promised he would do something in his life and would then propose to her. He never met her for months when finally one day he came to know that she had gotten engaged to an NRI. He asked her the reason behind this and her reply was that he could not take her to places and give her what she ever wanted. So she accepted the proposal in hand.



I was carefully listening to his story when he interrupted me asking me if poor was a sin or a crime. I didn’t answer his question so he continued his story. He used to always wait for her in the college to ask her what mistake he had committed. She refuses to reply him but she had already complained to her parents about him. Unfortunately a day before his engineering final exams he was mercilessly beaten up by the girl parents who also tore his hall ticket apart and burned his books he was studying.



He had tears when he continued. “My father who had given me education by saving every penny of his salary thrashed me so badly that I was not able to walk for days. He beaten me up with an iron rod till I could not bear it anymore and I ran from home taking my certificates. For Months I wandered without food, without proper clothes with lot of guilt. I kept asking myself what wrong I did.  Was I responsible for everything? I only loved her, admired her innocence and wanted to do something big for her someday. I don’t believe in myself anymore Sanju.”



I stood up for a while stretching myself, and took my time to understand what was going wrong. Then he continued. “I waited for that moment she came from US, and watched every move and one day I saw her jogging in the early hours of the morning. I grabbed the opportunity I hit her head with a stone and put her to the ground and…”



“What did you get by doing this?”



“Revenge…for destroying my career”



I wiped the sweat from my forehead, and bolted the cell gates behind me as I walked away from him. I heard him sing Vande Materam. 

My father showed me the certificates he possessed;” He was very brilliant kid in school even better than you, son.”



“I know”



“But only time is your destiny and percentages don’t determine your future only determines your present.” Dad replied.



“You are wrong dad; it determines how honest you are in your studies. I know him quite well I know he was changed by circumstances and not by intention,”



“We will be taking him to the court today?”



An hour nearly passed when his father reached the Police Station enquiring about his son, I was in the commissioner’s cabin when I was informed about his father. I looked out for him as I stepped out from the cabin; he was having a conversation with my father on seeing me He came running towards me.



“Son, you have brought glory to your parents, unlike my child who is behind the bars”



“Thank you, Uncle”



“Come with me and talk to him, put some sense in his head now that he is headed nowhere”



He took me inside the cell, and started shouting at Sunil,



“Look at yourself, you have put my head in shame, do you remember your friend Sanju, both of you used to study in the same school and college, see where he is now?. And you are useless and fit for nothing I don’t believe you are worthy of living. So good, you had been in your studies I was proud to see your percentages and I announced the day you had got through the CET in engineering to the entire village and now what have you done to me?”



Suddenly a female voice emerged from behind, “kill him, he has ruined my daughter’s life”



The victim’s mother had entered the cell, my father persuaded her to leave the culprit alone in police custody. She continued her abusive language telling the constables that she would appeal in the court for capital punishment for the culprit. It was clear that Sunil was going nowhere from where he stood now. I requested Sunil’s father to leave his son.



“You don’t need to put him down anymore, it won’t solve the problem”



“I wanted him to make me proud just like you did, I wanted him to be better than you, and I always envied others, but see what life has done to me.”



“Don’t blame life, blame yourself”



“What?  I did everything in my hands for him.”



“I agree you did everything that was possible, but it was in your hands to forgive your child when he came back to you and you didn’t”



“How could I forgive him?” “He was more interested in love and not in studies”



“It was you, who should have given him a second chance to improve himself, but beating him was not the solution”.



There was silence for minute as my father was astonished by way I dealt the matter. I had to meet Sunil one last time before he was taken to the court.

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The weather outside was gloomy even in the early hours of the afternoon; it seemed as if it would rain, as I entered the cell the darkness grew. I pulled up the chair in front of me and sat.



“Still I remember those days when we both used to come together to meet my dad in this same Police Station.”



“I loved the eatables, the constables used to provide us.” replied Sunil.



“Sunil, you are a culprit and you are going no where from here.”



He had tears in his eyes, “I don’t want to be called a culprit, the pain and suffering I couldn’t bear it anymore. In one corner I saw myself filled with loneliness, no one to forgive me, fallen to the ground and while I would see my friends on the top of the ladder. I became mentally disturbed.  I was the topper in my school and college and I did bring success to my family and yet my father couldn’t forgive me. Born from a lower caste that’s why I failed to get the person whom I loved”.



“So you took all the anger and frustration on the girl whom you loved”



“No …I didn’t rape her, I had hit her with the stone, I tore her clothes apart but when I saw her in the state of unconsciousness my heart refused to do what my mind wanted to. So I ran from the scene of crime trying to prevent myself from doing anything wrong to anyone, but I was nabbed by the security guards of the locality.”



I was silent for a second. I stood up and pulled his hair trying to bring him to senses.



“Why on earth are you taking all this charges on you if you haven’t done anything?”



At that moment, he pulled the revolver from my handgun holster and pointed it to me.

“I’m fed up of this world; I envy your success, your happiness. You never could surpass me while we studied together, but today you are better than me.”



As I faced the gun pointing at me for the first time in my life, I felt the shivers. For a moment I could hear my mother’s voice in my ears telling me to come for dinner, I feared that I would never see my mother or my family again. It was something I never expected in my life on my first day of my duty.



“Sanju, I want to live and I hate to see myself lose, I can’t bear anymore people calling me useless good for nothing.”



“You got the answer in your hands” I spoke firmly looking at him with fright in my heart, that in any moment my life would be gone.



The room was getting darker and the police were unaware of the scenario inside the cell, as they were wondering if I was still interrogating Sunil.



There was a moment silent as Sunil tried to move away from his chair. He was at a distance from me pointing the gun. “I always was better than you, Inspector Sanjeev Mhatre”



The silence in the police station was erupted by bullet being fired. Constables and senior inspectors from all the corners of the police station came running to the scene. Few of them bringing pistols and other firearms along with them broke into cell no 4. There was blood on the walls as the Sunil lay on the ground with his eyes wide open and Inspector Ranjan Mhatre ran to hold his son who was thrown to the corner of the cell.



“Son”,” Are you alright, speak to me”



I could barely hear but I could sense pain in my ears, I replied, “Dad, I’m alright”



“What happened?”



“Sunil, pulled the trigger on himself, Dad, He was always better than me; today he proved it to me”



Everyone came running to watch the scene in the cell, but the constables drove them away. I stepped out of the cell and walked away for a moment to breathe fresh air, when it started to drizzle. I was holding his certificates in my hand when it started to pour heavily. I looked around the victim’s parents were content at what they witnessed in the police station, and at the corner was Sunil’s father who was crying out loud saying, “I am responsible for everything”.



This was first day of my duty as Police Inspector and for a moment I wondered if I was in the right place or not.



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