Grampsicle's Hugs

Grampsicles Hugs

Some people say that a personality is confined in two different ways, either someone is completely logical or creative. These boundaries are considered one-minded and absent of the definition of one’s personality. In my opinion, my grandpa is the best of many different characteristics, being both logical and creative. Only in the past five years have I truly discovered what it means to have a unique personality. After reconnecting with my grandpa, I began to learn about a man’s story that had developed over a greater time than I. After the strike of my grandma’s heart attack, a new found relationship propelled our understanding of what it means to have a different, but loving relationship. I simply say different because we are not “technically” related in terms of blood, however, we are in fact alike and different in a way that harmonizes our fun and silly relationship of a granddaughter and grandpa.

Through learning of one another and the similar and differential qualities we possess, our relationship has flourished into something unique. In our grandfather-granddaughter relationship, our differences in age have allowed us to explore and understand differences in generations. Although there are differences in our beliefs and values, I have come to learn that I can learn from grandpa about the past, while he learns about the future from me. In the present time, I know that my grandpa has become who he is because of the experiences he has had. While I am still young, I realize that his lessons in life can ultimately benefit myself and others around me. Unlike anyone I have ever met, my grandpa has made an impact on his life and others around him through his personality traits, including ambition, giving, and humor.

The nickname Grampsicle was not something that came from an interesting story or a certain TV show, but a name I gave for him out of random spite. Although it does not make much sense, it often describes the silly, but also serious relationship I have with my grandpa. The many characteristics of my grandpa’s personality also range from silly to serious, his nickname serving its purpose. It is also details the contrast between certain characteristics in his personality, and how balances of all these are what make my grandpa a role model in my life.

It is the ambitious characteristic of my grandpa that I consider most admirable, mostly because his life is exemplifier of this trait. For example, my grandpa has worked hard on many occasions to be successful in his profession, landing him at his current job of running a company. His journey to this profession was not always easy, going from job to job for various reasons. For most of his life, he would work at various hard-laboring jobs, such as in the chimneys of a coal mine, where he would sometimes work up to 12 hours a day. Many of these different jobs were laborious, time consuming, and cheap; however, his ability to envision a life that would someday be better was what kept him going. To this day, my grandpa has continued to work hard as a dispatcher, running a private company and managing to overcome some faults, such as technology. My grandpa’s ambitious trait has not only been proven to be successful in his life, but also inspiring to those around him.

When I first reconnected with my grandpa, my life was in turmoil, with the threats of job loss, moving, and economic strife. Although I did not know it in my time, it was his reintroduction into my life that changed my attitude for the better. For most of my life, I continued to have other people in my life that inspired me, including my grandma, aunt, and my stepmother. As I grow older, however, I find that most of those influential figures have disappeared in my life.

Today it is my grandpa that has promised to continue being a part of my life, inspiring my ambition in areas such as high school, work, college, and friends and family life. Whenever I would forget that ambition he has showed me, I could always count on him to remind me of why ambition is important in making a future that will change your present situation. For example, there was a time in my life when I was having difficulty with my parents’ divorce.

“Dear you need to calm down,” said my grandpa is a soft-rhythmic tone.

“I can’t!” I exclaimed. “He is at it again, and I’m just so sick of it!”

At this moment, my ex-step father was going to kick me out of the house for an incident with his new girlfriend. As his girlfriend had claimed, I was stepping “too much” into their relationship, claiming I was an actual threat. Far from the truth, the radical situation set me in an outrage of sobbing fits.

“Do you want to move in with us?” asked my grandpa in a louder tone. “Clearly that asshole doesn’t want to see clearly beyond his girlfriend’s opinion.”

“I just don’t know! This is my home, I have everything here. What am I supposed to do?” I asked in a panicked tone.

I had worried myself sick that night, contemplating on what I should decide to do. It was my grandpa’s ambitious and calming nature that lightened the mood, causing me to rationalize more clearly.

“I am offering you a home, support, and all the love you will ever need,” said my grandpa. “But, if you need to stay where you’re at to finish school, I will be okay with that too, just as long as you are safe and happy.”

As I processed the waves of sound that traveled through the phone, I imagined a life that would finally satisfy my needs and wants. Despite those wants and needs, I decided against moving, eventually concluding that I would be living at their house anyways to commute to college. After the conversation, I felt a huge sense of inspiration and hope inside, calming my nerves and bringing a euphoric feeling that is similar to a storm that has just passed. After letting out all of my frustrations, my grandpa still was able to bring ambition into my mind, inspiring me to stay strong.

Although I believe my grandpa’s ambition is important, it is also in some cases, too ambitious. Sometimes, my grandpa is so determined to accomplish something that he over works himself. At this point, we both differ in our ability to distinguish overworking yourself from being ambitious. Recently, my grandpa went to the doctor get stress tests done, and of course, the results were what he was expecting. He received news that he had high blood pressure and too high of a stress level, causing me to worry and him to disregard medical terms. Although I would never change his ambitious traits, I would change his ability to see that although life requires a lot of work, there is also a time when you need to slow down and pace yourself. To this day, I think deep down inside, he knows the boundaries; he just doesn’t like to follow them.

Ordinarily, my grandpa does not understand what it means to have a negative attitude; in my opinon, that is why he is never able to stop. Whenever I sit down with my grandpa on weekly visits, we discuss whatever is currently troubling me. Most of the time, what I cannot control in my life, my grandpa cannot change for me, which I know kills him. Every day, I am reassured that my grandpa cares about my well-being by his quirky emails, encouragement through text, and the simple reminders of his prescence in my life. Recently, I let him look at my journal from advanced creative writing. When he turned to the page of my childhood memories, he had already known most of the heartache I had gone through.

“I wish I realized sooner that you had such a bad life kid,” my grandpa turned to me and said.

“At least you came sooner than later,” I replied. “I know that I will be able to move on with life, even without a ton of money.”

Looking at me with his youthful, yet wrinkled smile and blue-gray eyes, he replied back, “You’re a good kid.”

Among the many times my grandpa has confirmed his love for me, I also have realized his respect for me. Consistently, he reminds me to continue the ambitious nature that has carried me through hard times to the successful person I am today. There are many days that I do doubt my abilities; however, I can always count on my grandpa to remind me that, “Life’s great everyday,” or so he quotes. According to him, this attitude was not developed so easily over his lifetime; sometimes I think we are more alike than I can understand for this reason.

The change in our relationship was not just because of my grandma’s heart attack, but also because my grandpa realized some things about where he was at in life. For instance, he would tell me stories about how he used to be a cranky old man who horded his money, only caring about certain things and not seeing the bigger picture. The moment that my grandpa realized he could change his life for the better is when he began to change my life for the better as well. It is my grandpa’s giving trait that is also admirable because he has in many instances proven that life is about spreading wealth when you can. Several examples of his generosity include private donations, taking my family on trips, and always giving a generous tip on a dinner out. Although my grandpa has been highly generous and giving in terms of money, he has also given so much more, including his love.

It is my grandpa’s hugs that detail his warm and humble manner, showing what is truly deep down in his heart. On many occasions, his hugs are often too hard, and when this happens I scream, “You’re squishing me again!” In return, his warm grey eyes would smile and his mouth would say, “Sorry dear, you’re much smaller than I am.” On occasions such as these, I would laugh and call him his other nickname, “dork,” in which he would respond with “turd.” Moments such as these are typical amongst family members, but in our relationship, they detail my grandpa’s giving manner. When my grandpa gives me hugs, I know the love he has for me.

There are countless times that my grandpa has showed his caring side by offering to pay for expenses that my family could never afford. For instance, since I reconnected with my grandpa, he would offer to take myself and my brother shopping for school clothes, something that my parents could never afford. At the time, it was as if a savior had answered my prayers for guidance. I was not necessarily excited by the clothing, but by the fact that someone beyond my family recognized our needs and wanted to take that to the next level. I can say for a fact that I have been spoiled by my grandparents, especially my grandpa when it comes to material things, but it’s not necessarily the money behind his gifts, it’s the fact that he showed my brother and me that life is not a complete disappointment; there is hope in escaping your troubling situations.

Among the variety of memories that I have with my grandpa, there are some that come to mind more than others, simply because the silly nature of his personality has reminded me and other family members of why we love him so much. My grandpa, who has worked hard his whole life, has still had the ability to look beyond negativity and see the humor in life; only sometimes, he is the center of life’s humor. The other day, my grandpa sent me an email detailing his embarrassing adventure at JC Penny’s and how after a “war” with a mannequin and chasing after a sales person, he realized that mannequin’s clothes were right in front of him. There have been countless times when my grandpa has proved that although he has brains, he doesn’t use them very well sometimes.

A known fact is that the brain also functions in coordination; something my grandpa has also managed to have little of. grandpa is well aware of his “messy” nature, sometimes punishing his predictable nature by spouting off negative comments, but I always try often to reassure him that his actions are amusing and nothing to be ashamed of; A man who is nearly 6 foot 5 inches tall and is constantly spilling things is quite humorous. For example, whenever I am at my grandparent’s house, we always have a dove bar for desert. Each time we all perform this ritual, my grandpa never fails to get chocolate on his shirt in the process. In a day, my grandpa probably goes through several shirts because he spills things on himself. Another event that surfaced from his lack of coordination was when he dropped all of the turkey juice at Thanksgiving on the floor. After that day, we have laughed about the stale turkey juice that is mostly likely still under the stove, including some dog food from another “spilling incident.” Most of the time, these common acts are hilarious, sending myself into a laughing fit while my grandma typically yells “Garrett!” however, I have learned that my grandpa is sensitive to this quality about himself.

One night while texting my grandpa, a usual, but also strange ritual, I asked my grandpa if he was doing okay. He seemed disorientated and frustrated for some reason, a mood that is very uncommon for my upbeat and positive grandpa.

“Is it work?” I questioned. “I know how stressful your job can be.”

“No, these stupid hands don’t work the way they used to,” my grandpa replied. “I know everyone thinks it’s a joke, but I just make fun of myself to compensate for reality. Truth is, I’m getting old, and it ain’t pretty.”

“There’s nothing wrong with getting old,” I replied back. “I still love hanging out with you, even if you are a silly dork.”

“I still contemplate life, now that I am getting old,” said my grandpa. “The things I used to be able to do I cannot anymore, and that scares me.”

“Come on, you’re always positive, I don’t understand,” I replied back. I was confused by his honest words, causing me to panic. After all the years that my grandpa was there to comfort me, I felt as though I was finally coming to his rescue. As my words of comfort felt strange, they also felt appropriate. Since our reconnection, I had gotten to know my grandpa; I did not realize that the fun loving and goofy person I knew could be just as fragile as I was. Yet as down as my grandpa was, I had to remind him of the lessons he had once advised me to follow. No matter the situation, my grandpa has continuously reminded me to have a humorous and positive outlook in life. After the many years that he has lived, or as he claims “dinosaur ages,” I believe that he has experienced a variety of lessons that have evolved into his versatile personality.

As I look to my grandpa with admiration, I notice the smile on his face as he brings new joy to my life, teaching me the things that I never could have learned. I also notice a difference in generational attitudes, as we clash but also complement our viewpoints of life; somehow, I don’t think that our diverging opinions will ever change. What I do know is that with our profound relationship, I have learned from him that there are possibilities in life; you just sometimes need the love and support of others to show you the right direction. For me, my Grampsicle has shown me the right direction by caring for me in the simplest ways, including a warm hug from my gentile giant.