Quirillian Pt3

Part 3



“Do you love?” blatant, he held my hand.

My attention caught on this mere act and shivered uncontrollably.  “I, we do yes.”

“But..?”

“It is not without cost.” I frowned thoughtfully.  “There are feelings I have for another, feelings that I would betray them with another.”

“Rokemar..” he started.

Shocked, I glared at him.  “Never!” the very idea made me seethe.  “We hate each other.”

“I only thought.. he’s the obvious choice” he rolled his eyes.  “Someone else?”

“Helre.” I admitted it painfully.

His silence was enough to cause me to look up at him.  “It is too hard to explain.  There is nothing we can do about it.”

“And to think all this time I’ve been jealous of that madman.” Anast laughed at himself. 

“Rokemar cannot possibly…” love anything other than himself, I started to say.  But the words were easily stolen away on his breath and his lips.  Warmly, his kisses roamed my mouth until I gasped for air.  “The others cannot be too far.”

“I know.” he mumbled as he slipped the strap of my shirt down my shoulder.

“But they will..”

“I know exactly where they are.” his eyes were defiant and hungry.

Well of course he did, he’d been searching the path ahead.  Certainly he had more than a good idea where our companions were if he wished to know just that.  The very same trick he used to find me out on my quiet interludes.  Feeling very foolish for doubting him, I slipped free of my clothes and lived a little.





The river swollen churned trees in its path like little more than twigs.  The width an obstacle no hewn trunk may overcome, I watched its muddy waters tear away the chances of an easy crossing.

“Mellamorg, the widow stream.” Rokemar frowned.  His eyes wore on me heatedly with an age-old hatred.

“We’re following it upstream, there may be a ferry we can utilize.” Anast pitched a log on the fire.

Sparks took flight, circling upward like tiny fireflies.  I watched them, seeing in them a beauty I thought new to me.  The pleasure of this lost on them all, I longed to cling to Helre and speak of my newfound inspiration.

“Darcmad!” almost too late, I leapt to avoid Rokemar’s lunge. 

“Fraud, fool!” he shouted then came at me. 

Securing Helre’s blade I rolled to my feet and leaped up to face him.  I saw no new one in these eyes, only a rage boiling in madness.  My tutelage showed on him, as I found difficulty in deflecting him.  Rokemar was growing stronger and I…  the thought I could not finish only brought me to more rage.  I would not admit weakness, not to him.

He slashed, tearing my leg and I screamed to dance away from the wound.  Deep within I ceased searching for the knowledge I had used before and I tore fresh thoughts to destroy him.  I’d known all my days the workings of battle, my error not in that search for that was true and mine.  Before he attacked again I lunged and tore deep into his guts.  On wobbling feet I glared at him over the fire. 

“To death..” he sputtered through his own blood and licked his lips.  “One last time old enemy.”

A madness of frenzy we burned our wounds and cut again.  We would kill and die as we had in all lives, but at last we would kill each other.  Hunger warped us to drive deep the sword.  The wizard’s acted.  One blinding flash in warning, but like mad dogs we ignored them.  The next bolt struck out and I put a stop to it.  With one hand I lashed out, struck the force of the magic and deflected it away.  Then we resumed our carnage.

Blood poured from our wounds.  Closely intimate, I wore his sword in my side, Rokemar stabbed deep from my hand.  All we had but do is twist the blade and end each other.

“Is this what you wish?” I whispered the blood in my mouth a foul taste as it was my own.

“You are not him..” he denounced me.  “You are not worth my killing.”

Pain flashed within me as I felt tears burn my cheek.  I was nothing without them, without Darcmad.  I wept, my loss so carefully hidden poured open as my wounds.

In horror the new Rokemar gaped, freed from the control of that other.  His eyes took in everything, but he knew not what to do.  Bound by our wounds, we stood leaning on each other until I could hold my head no longer.  Dropping my head on his shoulder we collapsed against each other.

When I awoke it was again bright day and the fire devilishly welcome.  My clothes were mopped in the scent of blood and I wondered if I had won the last battle.  If some final throw of the blade had taken from me..  I gathered a ragged breath and howled weakly. 

“Darcmad, lie still, quiet.” Anast stroked my forehead and I shivered. 

Grabbing his hand I stared up into his eyes.  “Where is he?”

“You are in no condition to fight, nor him.”

“Where is Rokemar?” deadly serious in my gaze, I watched his eyes lift across the fire.

This gaze I followed seeing the pale visage of him wrapped in blankets.  Dead?  But no, his blankets shifted with the weight of his breath.  Shooting up, I found dizziness again.  A fraud, yes.  A fool, yes.  I clasped Anast hard until the weakness passed, then crawled to Rokemar. 

“Leave him be!” Phedemas snapped at me.  “I’ll kill you if I must.”

-Take them away- I speeded the thought to Helre who stared at me in pale shock.

“Darcmad, you can’t mean to..” she gibbered on.

“Take them away now!” I shouted it aloud.

Flinching, she told them to leave.  They fought her.

“I will do what I must.” I breathed hard leaning over him.  “This is Quir matter, not their concern.”

I did not have to imagine Anast’s hurt, I felt it from him across the fire.  When they were far enough away I stared at this new one.  Rokemar, he was not.  Not in face or features, I recalled the eldest one, my torturer many years ago.  This man I might pass on a causeway or a road and never feel a thing for the old ways.  Stroking his bloodied hair back I resisted finding the Quir and instead sought the man.

A long turning in the darkness of his dreams, confusion all around me.  His wounds were deep, the agony private and murderous.  Is that how Rokemars are chosen?  Could it be the common piece of the Quir puzzle it played out over and over again as Helre’s self sacrifice?  I languished to think that it was so, for what common denominator chose Darcmads?  Ignorance, fraudulence, foolishness?  These were words thrown at me times ago when Darcmad lived in the sun.

Weakly, his eyes fluttered and he stared at me.  “Darcmad?”

“Forgive me, brother.” I breathed it seeing the absence of the others in his eyes.  “I am a fraud and a fool.”

A heat warmed his eyes and he flinched.  “I don’t understand them, I don’t know what they want.”

“They want what is rightfully theirs to claim, my blood.” I whispered.  “Darcmad was wrong long ago to listen to fool’s advice and seek that which was never his to claim.  To cause so much carnage for a crown is a mistake only thousands of lives could make him see.  I beg of you, forgive me for my wrongs and forgive your brother of his stupidity.”

The shock of the admission brought no words from him.  My eyes saw him as Darcmad saw him, a brother and at the same time a new life that might bring sanity to our rivalry.  With a nod he answered me, and Darcmad wept.  I lie my head upon his shoulder listening to the madness of the many and the sorrow of the one.  True Darcmad held my heart and ear at his command.  But finally I had them all within my reach once more.

“You did not kill him.” Helre said it with relief and surprise.

“No.” I winced leaning against a tree.  “Not this time.”

“What happened?” she looked into me with such concern I wished to kiss her.

Stroking back an errant strand of hair I looked into her face seeing the new not the old.  The love held between us over ages and still new in time.  “Go, take care of him.” I whispered.  “I’ll not loose more time than I have to and not waste it on a Rokemar.”

A ferry across the river remained a long way off, but I knew another route.  It was how Rokemar knew me as a fraud.  These were our homelands and the lack of my knowledge showed my predicament to him.  Long ago a tunnel breached beneath the river bed to aid the travel of caravans.  We continued on within dark caverns dripping wet but swifter than the long trek to ferriable waters.

“You don’t require my aid any longer.” Anast muttered quietly as we lay naked in the light of the moon.

“I require you.” I knew no better way to put it than that.  The moments we stole away were wholly mine and I did revel in them. 

“Good because I’m no bull to put to pasture, not in his prime.” grabbing me he fell into kisses to prove just that.

“Phedemas would not agree,” I remarked.  “He suspects.”

“He knows.” Anast corrected.  “To fool a wizard takes cunning, to fool an old wizard takes miracles.”

“I’m surprised he hasn’t taken you on another road.”

“So am I.” he closed his eyes and yanked on a tuft of grass.  “At first I think he believed it a quicker way to get what he wants out of you.  Now he is troubled.”

“Troubled?”

“You sparked him, he wants to know how.” Anast opened his eyes and looked direct into me.  “Frankly, so do I.”

“I sparked him?” my question was unclear.

“You deflected his attack on you like it was nothing.  He is a strong wizard, he prepared himself to face Quir magic.  You defied him.”

Listening to the quiet stirrings I nodded.  “I was but the tool of Darcmad, a wizard by right.  The abilities are mine when needed.”

“You’re trying to tell me that a wizard requires no training in Quir to use magic?” he scowled.  “That I cannot believe.”

“Long ago I was begun upon the rites of witchcraft, but it was not to be.  I chose instead.  This allows my predecessors to utilize the ability they have trained for and I have not.” horrified I sat up.  “You mustn’t tell him such things.”

“The other Darcmad is there, within you.” a shocked revelation could doom him to death.

“No.” I fought off Darcmad and resisted any further traitorous words.

“That’s why your souls are never reborn.” he blinked and stared at me before frowning.  “Within you there must be eons of knowledge.”

Grabbing him I ground my teeth hard and glared with anger.  “You must never reveal what you know.  They will kill you, I will kill you.”

Stunned, Anast swallowed hard.  “I reveal nothing, ever.  I would never..”

“Good.” I shivered though the night was warm.  “We should be getting back, the watch is about to change.”

Though forgiven, Rokemar still held the same burden I struggled with.  There were ages of hatred between us and we could not set them all aside so easily.  Sometimes it was the old one, and surprisingly more recent the new.  Our attempt at killing each other must still fuel his anger, for I had nearly succeeded.  But more often this Rokemar pushed me for training, forced it of me to make him a better fighter.  This I did but not without reservations.  Frankly, it disturbed me to train one whom would become my opponent in the future.  But the new Rokemar stood a chance to be different, and Darcmad would mutter on so about it until I had it with the both of them.

“Why do you hate him?” Anast asked me lightly in the shadows.

“It is an old feud.” I shrugged.  “We were brother’s once…” the admission surprised me.  Old Darcmad bled through my thoughts. 

“Brothers?” the question came with surprise.  “You mean Darcmad is, well..”

“Male, usually.” I nodded and walked with Anast.

“It was a woman…” he did not ask it.  “I can imagine nothing else..”

“No it was another man..” I answered finding memories jogged.  To this Anast increased his surprise.  “Our father.  We vied for his love and his attention, both wanting to eclipse the other.”

“What happened?”

“He died without declaring a clear heir.” this answer surprised me.  “The lands were plunged into war, strife killed without mercy each of us clawing for a throne that honestly neither of us deserved.  When at last I realized there stood nothing more to claim, my father’s kingdom stood in ruins I wandered in my disgrace.  Long years of humility followed before I found the Quir.  Worse, Rokemar had done so before me.  We have been like this since.”

  To this the wise wizard remained thoughtful.  “A long time to hold a grudge.”

“Yes, but a parent’s love and a kingdom’s value seems fuel enough for many generations.”

“Even if it could ruin each life it touches?” he asked.

“I have sworn never to allow that again, or he swore.” I mouthed it thoughtful.  “I swear it too, now.  It is an honorable oath to take.”

“You almost killed him..”

“Almost..” a smile worked its way across my lips.  “That does not mean I do not enjoy it.  For once I am the stronger, the one who would put him in his place.  I enjoy it greatly.”

“My guess is you were not the eldest of brothers.” he laughed at me.

This I did not argue.  What matter is a few moments in labor?  Much when it stood to gain the crown.  The sun washed my face and I closed my eyes feeling its warmth.  A gentle glade rolling to a cool stream, small bare feet on the rocks, the memory of a familiar sweetness on the air.  In my ears I heard a child’s voice call out to it’s mother.  My mother, my voice, I saw the remnants of an old forgotten memory.  How did the darkness become so powerful in the end to wash away the bright?

“Darcmad..?” Anast asked suddenly.

Rousing to the present, I blinked.  “Sorry, I just had the strangest recollection.  You were saying?”

A laugh rumbled in his throat as he half groaned.  “I shall start again… Why tell me now?”

“It is his direction, the early Darcmad.  He’s quite interested in you.  There’s something about your aura that intrigues..” I drifted off as Darcmad began muttering in my head.  “Oh!”

“What?” catching my sleeve Anast gave me the full of his attention.

“You are kindred, um..” I tried to listen and think as I spoke.  “Not far from Quir, I’m not sure I understand.. Sacciatte, it is something I don’t know.”

Silent he frowned for a long time and then nodded.  “Good, for even as Quir have secrets so do mages, but I understand.”

“I’ve never heard of it before..” and I did not like not knowing something.

“It means two things you should already guess about.” he caught my blank stare.  “Your Darcmad was once an important mage of a very secret order, and secondly the vow never to reveal those secrets has been kept or else you’d know.”

“Shocking!” the idea surprised me. 

“Yes, well I can’t think of anything personally that would make me a Quir.” he frowned.  “In a different time perhaps there stood some reason.”

“There is always a reason.” I picked up my step. 

“I understand Helre’s and maybe the madman..” he shook his head.  “What was your reason?”

“Fear.” I shrugged.  “For each one it is different.  For Rokemar it was hopelessness.  There existed nothing else but a continuous onslaught until he found death.  Or it could be an escape.  One can never say for sure what another’s reason is.  I like to think Helre chose because she believed in me.”

“And you, really?  I hardly think of you afraid of anything…”

“I faced a future without prospects, a life that would see me much pain and without even the smallest of comforts.  No home, no family, and no way to care for myself, I was afraid of that.” the earlier brightness faded into the jagged misery of my last days before the choosing.  “Fear is a powerful motivator.”

“But your teacher, the witch to apprentice you?”

“Was dying.  A half trained witch is of little use in the world.  Finding another wasn’t possible.” I languished in my despair.  Another Darcmad vice I was beginning to discover.  A pride I took in being just like them before I now questioned.  What good was eons of knowledge if one never learned the better of it?

By morning I felt the tug of the quiril and stilled.  Close, I looked out over the lands hopeful for a new direction.  My eyes fell on chaos of old and wounds as ancient.  The lands are pierced from the shadow of an immense city crawling with life.  Darcmad’s words called this place home by names from his age as I stared at it in fear. 

When the others had come along we all had a good look.  Glancing to Rokemar I could not read his face to see if he too recalled it from his first days.  That he did not care for it seemed easily read, but devil him he cared for nothing at all.

Anast gave my shoulder a squeeze of reassurance, something allowed in the company of others.  Neither of us had come forward with the admission of our closeness to our companions.

We stared into this dark stain each of us seeing different meanings.  Soon there may be another candidate to claim, but that put me one step closer to leaving Anast behind.  My heart hurt from the thought.  So much lost time and now there seemed not enough.

The massive city loomed as we approached, seeming to grow higher by each weary trod.  Sooner than I wished to we fell under its shadow and then after within its gates.  The weak and the poor were tossed to the side begging for scraps or bits of coin while all around them seemed a celebration.  Women and men danced, bartered eagerly as if the neglected were not there at all.

I felt in my purse and Darcmad roared against me.  “Give nothing.. this is a bad place to be generous.” I muttered it to my companions should they have similar thoughts.  “Though the need is great.”

As unfeeling as the revelers we drifted in and out of the causeways in search.  Men shouted their wares, the quality of their merchandise that was not all consumables.  With my chusse shut I was thankful for my face to be hidden when a naked young woman was paraded for the sale of flesh.

What evil to have a Quir come from.  Darcmad only reminded me that this was not as when he had lived here.  Yet he didn’t seem to mind it much either.  Slavery was common in those days, especially for royalty.  Still, I felt certain my quiril should not lead us here.

By nightfall we had not made it across the city and decided to take up residence in an inn near the midway.  I thought it dangerous and didn’t care for it much.  The others were more than in favor, seeing it as a reprieve from the routine.  For Helre I worried, openly a woman in this place.  For our purses and our throats I had concern.  Two mages, one reasonably assured Quir and two young Quir, truly what trouble could not be put down?  But Helre had affections on her mind, and Rokemar had drink.  Phedemas put his mind to a fine meal as Anast and I only dared glances at one another.  It stood to be a good time until the guards broke in.

“Aye, its worship day!” They shouted it as they burst through the doors.  Those whom knew what this meant scattered like bugs trying to escape the clutches of the huge guards.  They collected members of the rabble, coming to lay hand on Helre.  My akay gleamed and Rokemar had already unsheathed his sword.

“You’re coming with me,” a brute snatched Helre off her feet.  “Fine price you’ll catch in the temple.”

Livid, I jumped into the fray kicking the dog down.  Helre looked up at me then snatched out her saber.  Let them take their own, leave me mine.

“What’s this?  Ragged thing like you have a problem with the way we do business?” the guard grinned as he stood up.  “I’ll make you see what’s right.”

Two had moved to cut in, but Rokemar headed them off. 

“Sheath it Rokemar,” I hissed at him.  “You’re too drunk for this one.”

A fury rolled in his eyes.

“I said sheath it…” the words were steeped in threat.  “She’s mine and you know it.”

Frustrated he put the blade away, pulling Helre back from the fight.  Too young born they were and quite honestly this appeared challenging. 

“You?  Just one?  You think you can take us all?” the one that had hand on Helre laughed.  “We’re Thentelle, you’ll have your death boy.”

“Come try…” I whispered it.

Two rushed, the biggest trying to snap my attention.  I took the stroke, pairing it and sliced both through the guts.  The four others took on a look of surprise.  A moment of recovery and they all rushed me, I slapped one down, cut another clean through the neck and managed to deflect the other two.  Challenging stood to be an understatement.  Maddened, they cut out at me.  More scars laid into the akay, but I twisted out of their strikes.  Knowing this was no time to toy, I faked a thrust into one then cut the other.  The last I stuck through with the spear end when he thought to flee.  Then I finished off the unconscious one.

Two captives shot up, screamed and ran off shouting of the murders.  The third poor fellow couldn’t find his feet to stand and passed out.

“I have the strangest feeling that killing them was the worst possible choice to make.” Anast frowned.

“We need to get moving.” Not even rested, we gathered up our things and took flight.  In only moments calls rang out to destroy the interlopers.  By description I took that for us.  Through dark alleys and pitch black corridors we raced to find our way.  The quiril rang hard.

“Not now.” I shifted my weight and looked around.

“What is it?”

“Here, the one is here somewhere.” I spun around and found nothing to indicate which direction to proceed.

“You must be joking.. we can’t knock about on doors with an entire city looking to slaughter us.” Helre gasped breathless.

Swinging my akay I struggled with the directives in my mind.  My purpose was this search, not saving my own skin.  The quiril brightened as it danced near the ground.  A shout sounded out in the distance followed by screams.  Our hunters were not far behind.

“We must shift the stones.” I started digging out the bricks with my bare fingers.  “Our way leads to the deep.”

“Darcmad, we cannot dig now..” Phedemas scowled.

“Hold them.” I glared at the old man coldly.  “Hold them back or my secrets die with me.  Anast dig with Rokemar, use craft if you have to.  Our passage lies there.”

Helre gaped at me as if I was mad and by now I was used to that.  Darcmad the first had become quite a disturbing appearance.  We traveled his homeland, I found memories and remarks in every mile.  Sometimes without reason I would hum along thoughtfully or begin talking aloud when honestly the reply should be made in my head.  It greatly disturbed my companions.  They believed I might be a bit mad.  But beneath us lie the way we must go and there Darcmad knew lie tunnels beneath his kingdom.

In moments we had a seething mass pouring into our corridor, its multitude a frenzy of death.  Phedemas narrowed them by smashing down pieces of the wall.  Even then they came by numbers I found difficult.  My every worry for Helre unnecessary as she cut deftly and what numbers were too many Phedemas took care of. 

“There’s a tunnel.” Anast roared over the noise.

“I know.” both Rokemar and myself spouted.  I finished “Go into it, I will hold them.”

One by one they trickled into the crevice below.  Phedemas argued with Rokemar as to whom would precede me.  Losing the argument, the old wizard went down into the deep as I stood over the narrow hole.

“Go.” Rokemar eyed me.  “I will hold it.”

Laughing I cut through two of the vile animals and shouted at him.  “I do not recall brother that you have the gift to seal this hole behind you, nor that you are reclaimed enough to bear the brunt of this battle.  You do not sacrifice yourself, not for me.” and I pushed him soundly into the darkness below.

Amassing the power I knew now how to bucket, I let loose a flame spouting over bodies into the corridor.  Then dropping below I sealed the hole from further entry.  Rokemar gave me such a look I could not name it.  Hatred, anger, jealousy, I did not know.  Had any of them ever known I held that ability?  By the conference in my head I did not believe so.

“We keep moving.” but above I knew there was burning more than corpses and guards.  The city had caught fire and now instead of intention upon us, men fought to contain it.  “This way.” I followed the call of the quiril and its light pierced the darkness.

Through catacombs and sewers we raced, turning this way then another until coming to a wall barring us.  The prisons, Darcmad knew this and knew another time when no wall stood here.  A long escape through this self same tunnel had been the only reason he’d survived to become Quir.  Rokemar had imprisoned him here when the last coup had gone utterly wrong.

“Blast it.” I ordered and the wizards did just that.  But that only called the guards and again we fought until blood washed the floor.  Like a black shadow I lumbered over bodies and along passages teeming with miserable prisoners.  A grim reminder of the last candidate found in such a state I already worked at preparing a better speech to such a host.

  Down into the deeper horror we raced.  Prisoners shrieked for our attention but like darkness we passed.  What terrors they faced only they could name and I in such close quarters I could not find the innocent among the guilty.  Spinning around I lost myself the quiril indecisive for a moment before it flashed so bright I shielded my eyes.  The way shown, I moved quickly to the cell ahead.

“Here..” I touched the door and winced.  “We must get within.”

Anast drew close, stroked the lock and I listened to it turn as if keyed.  “You’re overdone..” he spoke it softly in my ear.  “Knowledge aside you are still only young in the art.”

It had hurt to try to use the gift.  All that I had done before had drained me.  Darcmad’s aside I was still only a half-trained witch with a very limited strength to draw upon.  Nodding, I tore open the doorway.

Dim flames from torches lined the room.  A fine room of comfortable furnishings with windows painted into the stone looking out to fantastic scenes.  I stood agog uncertain why such beauty could be found in the deepest prison.

Frozen, a woman sat before a mirror looking through the glass at me.  Her mouth round in an ‘O’ as she painted it red.  Long black hair drifted down over her brown skin and her doe eyes were upon me with fear.  Not a stitch of clothing did she wear and I heard Anast cough.  Rokemar of course gazed brazenly and I wished I could smack him for it.  Whatever her state, she could still be Quir and deserved some dignity.

“Come to steal me away have you?” she glared through the mirror at us.  “Well you are a year late.”

A year?  Had I been wandering so long? 

“Tell my father he holds no right to me, no longer.” she stood up angry and faced us.

“Anast, would you keep our backs?  Phedemas help him.” then I glared at Rokemar heatedly.  “You as well.”

An argument stole its way to his lips, but Rokemar caught it before it found voice.  Tearing his eyes away he relented to hold the door with the hated wizards.  A strange company of protection but I was growing used to the oddities.

“We have come a long way..” I started quietly. 

“I don’t require rescuing.” she scowled at me.

“Please…” I frowned.  “hear me out and then decide.”

With a nod she sat on the bed her eyes drifting between both Helre and I.

“We have sought you a long time.  I have found many things upon the way but not the words that make my revelation easier.  We are Quir, the people from under earth, we have been chosen to join them.  So have you.  I have come from the grand gates of my home seeking those worthy of joining the Quir and I have been led to you.  We ask that you consider our offer with your whole heart for as you are chosen so must you chose.  From this place we will take you and bear you away into a life of wonder and mystery so great this world cannot conceive it.  You will live through ages and times.  You will carry within you the knowledge of many.  This is only your choice to make.”

A thoughtful expression she wore as she rubbed her hands together.  “You are women and you ordered those men out.  I do not understand.  Are they Quir?”

“One is.” I replied.

“And do all your women rule in this fashion?”

“We don’t rule at all.”

“But I don’t understand…”

“The one helmed and with sword is Quir, the other two are wizards.” Helre touched the girls shoulder.  “The Quir did as he was told because he must, Darcmad is eldest and commands in this situation.  The wizards do so out of respect for our secret order as well as in regards to helping to get us out of this nightmare with all our heads attached.”

“But your women, they have power?” she asked hopefully.

“We do not distinguish the marking of sex, our concerns are solely for the abilities of the Quir.” I said it.

Turning her hands she placed them palm to palm and then opened them as a window before her.  Between them a vivid explosion of color and sound, movements and people, the images amazingly distinct.  “I have gift to see over times, over distances, and to show this to others.  That is why he keeps me here.  By my talent he can see whom plots against him, speaks against him and get to them before they succeed.  Is this a value to your kind?”

Grabbing her hands the picturesque window ceased and I looked into her eyes.  “You, yourself are of value to the Quir, what you bring with you is only in consequence to yourself.  No one will exploit you for this gift you bear.  All we desire is you.”

Uncertain her eyes drifted to me then to Helre.  “I am afraid.”

“We cannot lie.” Helre whispered to her.  “Quir do not lie.”

Her hands clasped mine and she squeezed them.  “I will go with you.” she spoke.  “I will go away from this place and this prison forever.”

“You will never be reborn in this world.” as a Quir I could not accept her without telling her this.

“But I will live free.” she smiled crookedly.  “It is well worth the exchange.”

By the flashing of the quiril I could only agree.  How strange it was to find acceptance without a struggle or a battle about it.  Ever careful I measured the mark and took it.  The quiril sank into the flesh, pierced to the heart and burst with color.  The pulse marked in its light and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Sounds came from the other side of the door and I realized a battle surely went on outside.  Gathering up some wear for the naked Quir I handed it to her.  She snatched my hand and stared at me.

“There are many, many voices in my head.” I began the tutelage to the young one and smiled at her wonder.  Illysa, her Quir in her eyes, took the lesson quickly as we departed. 

“Couldn’t have managed to take just a little bit longer, Darcmad?” Rokemar snarled at me as he wrestled with guards teeming all around them. 

Drawing the akay I cut and slashed beside him, Helre taking up the flanking position by the wizards.  Illysa, no warrior to the sword only gaped as we cut through the corridors.  The wizards blinded and ensorcelled quickly but by the masses would be depleted long before the guards were finished.  By two levels they were slowing and showing the strain.

“We cannot hope to take them all.” Helre moaned.

A group of guards rolled towards us.

“Stand back.” Illysa ordered.  “I can manage them.”

Before we could refuse, I saw the corridor spanned in a wall of darkness and the sounds of the approached guards disappeared in a roaring of magic.  When the wall disappeared the guards were gone.

“What did you do?” We gaped at her.

“I opened a window and they went through it.” she answered smugly.  “I think my father will have his hands full with them.”

Phedemas gaped.  “But that’s not possible.”

“We should hurry, Lord Akenbar has tens of thousands of guards to call upon.” she reminded.  “I’m not sure I can transport them all.”

Not wishing to endure such a trial we followed the prison to the catacombs and there again used the tunnels beneath the city to reach the docks.  The last quiril was blinding again and I shuddered for its intent.  The battles ahead brought us all to close quarters, but in my heart I knew the answer to the riddle.  Why it was I needed these two wizards and worse why Darcmad would find a friend in one.

We slashed our way aboard a ship and made use of it quickly.  The fires in the city were burning high and very little stood to bar our way.  I watched it burn through the quiril’s eyes and felt my guilt at doing such a thing.  Twice now I had destroyed this place.  A hand fell on my shoulder as I watched the city burn.  Surprised, it was Rokemar whom looked backward with me.

“I think it needed burning…” he said it quietly.  “New ground may lead to new life.”

“I hate to be a thorn but I don’t suppose anyone knows how to sail this thing, do they?” Anast struggled with the helm.

I of course hadn’t the first idea nor Helre.  We looked around at each other in surprise.  Rokemar grabbed the wheel with a curse.  “Looks like I have to save your sorry arse again, Darcmad.” With booming shouts he had us coursing at a good speed.  Helre and I manned the decks as the good wizards slipped below for a long rest.  When at last everything seemed quiet on the sea I tied a strip of chusse over the quiril still gleaming brightly and worried a new course.

For three days we sailed and I learned to hate it.  My guts heaved as the ship rode the waves and many a morning I spent over the rail emptying my unsettled guts.

“No stomach for sailing, old one?” Rokemar grinned at me before shifting the wheel so we lulled more deeply in the next wave and crested with a dizzying loft.  To answer him I only need hang my head and vomit again while he whistled happily on.

Of seasickness I was not the only victim.  Helre joined me on a few occasions and we glared angrily at the captain who took much humor in our condition.  With his direction we learned to sail together and drew shifts at the helm.  By luck no storm hindered us and we found good winds all the way to the Southern coasts.

Behind me, his breath on my neck Anast nuzzled my ear.  “Are you angry with me?”

“No..” I shifted the wheel in my hand and rode the smoothest path on the water.

“You’ve been acting odd since we’ve boarded.”

“Anast..” I took a deep breath to strengthen myself for the all I would say.

“Good morning.” Phedemas smiled as he came on deck straightening his robes and looking pleased to have interrupted us.

I scowled at him.  The devil wizard had the worst timing.  Relaxing my lungs I expelled and then stroked his fingers.  “I have a lot on my mind.” I flinched thinking again how it was that we could not tell an untruth, but we could avoid honesty.

My shift over and the two wizards on deck, I journeyed below for welcome food.  Sea biscuits were the best fare the ship had to offer.  A modest water supply and a good deal of food I didn’t find palatable.  So with my tough crackers I retired to a cabin.  The plink plinking behind the door alerted me that it was not unoccupied.  Rokemar sat within sullen and tossing pebbles into some cans.  Face to face he held anger at me that he quickly hid behind a mask of uncaring.  Tossing another pebble he missed the can he was aiming for.  Like this he continued not even daring to look at me.

By the plinking I assumed he’d gotten over his temper at me and preferred to ignore me.  I kept my back to him, an insult, and crunched the awful biscuits.  A bit of brandy to wash them down would be nice, or some fresh milk.  Yet all we had stood to be a bitter swill of ale and water.  Not even a good bit of fruit to see us along the journey.

Rokemar stalked the floor to the door and slammed it.  Closing my eyes I listened to the Darcmads before me demand retribution for his insolence.  It wasn’t until I heard the key turn in the lock that I bolted upright ready for an attack.

Glaring at me he scowled.  “It’s him isn’t it?”

“What?”

“That miserable wizard Anast, he is the next isn’t he?” an enraged glow lit his eyes and I found myself shocked that anyone had guessed.

“Why would you ..?”

“Oh shut up Darcmad, I’m not stupid.” he hissed at me and kicked a can of pebbles across the floor.  “It’s him, just say it.”

Looking away I wished it differently.  There is a time to face all things, Rokemars included.  Staring into his eyes I nodded.

A string of curses exploded from his lips and he put his fist through a bookcase.  “We cannot have their kind under earth, they are not Quir.” Rokemar snarled.  “He is not welcome.”

“Darcmad was a mage.” I replied indifferent.  “I was a witch in training.  Surely there are Quir with equal backgrounds.”

“It isn’t right!” Rokemar shouted.  “He shouldn’t be with us in the first place.  He cannot follow us into the darkness.  You shouldn’t be letting him..”

“What!?” I snapped because I knew where he would take this. 

Defiant and cold, Rokemar’s accusation came.  “It sickens me that you would lie with one of them.”

Fury in my veins I slapped him for his words.  “It’s none of your concern.”

“It is my concern if it betrays us to mages.” wiping the blood from his mouth he glared at me.  “Your betrayal is the concern of all Quir.”

“Then why haven’t you told him?”

“Why haven’t you?” he sneered.  “What is it you are afraid of?”

“Shut up.” a great dread filled me.

“What is it the infamous Darcmad fears?” he nibbled at the edges of my sanity with his words.  “For through all times I have not know one of you to fear anything but failure.  Is that it?  Is it your fear that your legs will not entice him into the long night?”

Grabbing a small paring knife I struck out at him.  The slash cut his arm and he gaped in surprise.  I slashed again.  Rokemar flinched as the knife claimed blood but he stood there doing nothing to prevent it.  I could stab him easily and I lunged to do just that before he caught my hand.

“You are always the fool, little brother.” his eyes were hard at me.  “That never changes.”

I dropped the knife as he was the one to turn his back on me.  The lock tumbled and the door opened.  In the wake of his leaving I wept in my loneliness.  No shadow of my predecessors to give me comfort for there was none.  I had taken into confidence one opposed to Quir and I was neglecting my duty to refuse making the offer.  A fool yes, that is always Darcmad and it is also I.

We came ashore on the barren coast dragging our miserable selves from the sea.  The grand gates loomed ahead many miles but with Anast's arms around me in the darkness I wished it were not so.  The night became my strength as I called him away.  My duty to the search and the quirils of it must be upheld.

“I cannot leave the Quir.” I spoke it to him quietly.  “Not even should I wish it.”

“Do you wish it?” he asked quietly touching my face.

“No.” I winced.  “But I wish it that we could be together.”

“What is it you’re not telling me?”

“I am going now, to under earth and the long lonely ages I will face without you.” Choking down a sob I found my voice.

“But there is still another candidate..” he eyed the swinging gleam upon the akay.  It’s brightness caught in his eye and he watched it with calculation.  “No.”

Wincing, I looked away. 

“It can’t mean what I think…” he slowly reached up and touched the quiril sphere and it blazed.  Silent he stared at it.

“You are the last to be found.” I whispered it.

“But it can’t mean me, its crazy to think that I would..” but shifting his eyes into mine his words died away.  “For you…  I would do anything.”

“Anything you asked, all that you’ve wanted…” he spoke on as my heart turned in agony.  “This is…”

“You cannot do this for me.” I closed my eyes and looked away.  “It must be your wish.”

“What will happen to me if I go?” grabbing my face in his hands he looked at me searching.  “I won’t be who I am?  I will be changed by it, I will be lost to this world.  Do you know who I will be?”

“There is no way of knowing which Quir is within the quiril, but it is compatible with who you are.” I replied.  “It chooses somehow by the person.  Darcmad is always foolish and battlemad, I am the same.  We fit well together.”

A long breath escaped him and his eyes implored me.  “What will happen to you if I don’t go?”

“I can’t be the deciding factor.  It is unfair to ask me that.”

“I want to know.” he insisted.

“I will return home, I will close myself into the darkness and there dwell as I have done for the last eleven ages.” my answer troubled me.  “I have always been alone without Helre, I will be alone again.  We will be friends for ages but there will always be something missing in my life.”

“Phedemas is my life..” he closed his eyes.  “To leave him now would destroy him.  He’s lost so much in this search for his daughter, to lose me…”

“Anast, you must chose for yourself.” I reminded him.  “The quiril will know your heart and it will kill you if you doubt it.”

“Darcmad, I love you.” he clutched me close and I felt my heart beating with hope.  Drawing back he searched my eyes.  “I cannot go with you.”

Stepping back I knew the crushing truth.  The quiril’s light died, and with it a bit of myself.  Rokemar had been right.  I could not claim him and I had failed.  Dropping the akay I wept in my arms and Anast drew me in.  We both knew we would be parted, but by waiting so long to tell him I had only drawn out the agony.  By the dark I had more pain to endure.  Hand in hand we walked the path returning to our companions.  This trial I feared even more.

Phedemas was happily story-telling for Illysa who delighted in his charms.  I had a nasty suspicion I was not the only Quir dallying with wizardry.  To think one so young and fresh had such a taste for the wrinkled and old shocked me.  But Illysa was an old Quir, and she likely drew to the same.

“You wish to know what became of your daughter?” I spoke it hard. 

By the surprise on his face I realize he hadn’t expected me to answer him so soon.  Rokemar glared at me for a moment, but his eyes caught on the dangling quirils.  Counting them up he knew the outcome of the final offer and he knew my failure.  Pleased he watched and waited.

“Tell me this secret you know.” Phedemas crossed his arms and bit his pipe as he eyed me.  “And we will see if you can convince me.”

Wrestling with images I found the knowledge I sought.  “Upon the banks of a scarce stream and green rolling hills dwelled your wife and daughter.  In the mountains far to the North, I think.  Alone, I know.  A witch with her witch-born, these two lived in solitude.  A girl child, by mage law is not your concern.  Pity she was to be your only child.  Her name was Adiemas, and the mother’s name was..” I thought with difficulty.  “Arensia.”

“How do you know… you read the thoughts.” he began to argue.

“You know I cannot steal your thoughts without your knowledge.” I spat at him.  “Arensia was not strong and illness worked its way into her body.  It was a terrible illness.  The plague of many long centuries ago.  Without cure it ravaged her, making her an old woman as she fought for every miserable day of her life.  She called for you many times.  Called in sickness and called in magic.  You never came.”

“I was busy, far away I did not know.” he started at my accusation.

“The Quir heard.” I replied.  “They came, four of them and Adiemas deemed the last of their search.  They implored the old woman to allow them to take the girl, but Arensia resisted until the last.  Forsaken by you and unable to doom her only daughter to suffer the world as an orphaned child and half-trained witch, she pushed me to join the Quir.”

Helre gasped.  Phedemas stilled, all argument gone from his face.  A whirlwind of surprise flowed around the campfire as I let my admission sink in.  “Your child was not stolen by the Quir, she was saved.  Something that would never have been if you had not abandoned her in the first place.” My eyes stole to my three Quir companions.  “Though I do not wish it changed for all the stars in the sky.  Under earth is my home and its people my own, the long lonely dark is my destiny.”

“All this time..” Phedemas cried.  “You could have just told me at the beginning..”

“You would not have believed me.” I replied gently.  “I have given you the time to realize what I am before telling you who I am.  You do not doubt my place in Quir and now you know your daughter belongs there.”

Across the fire he gathered me up weeping.  In his arms I took comfort and gave it.  The love and acceptance I had craved since that first meeting in the darkness I now had.  And for the days we traveled after that I had a father to speak with.  Worse, at the tunnels to bid them both farewell.  I knew in my heart Darcmad’s days of searching were over.  I would spend the rest of my ages in the deep and dream longingly of a mage-lover and a mage father but never lament them.  It is who I am, Darcmad, and whom I would always remain to be.