Some Oldies

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1.

Ignorance disgusts, but it also deceives.
It causes us to form notions we feel we are right to believe.
Ignorance blossoms from ignorance,
More often than not it is the security we seek.
Often we are innocent,
Not knowing the price we pay.
The lessons I think I learn I strain to make my actions convey my experience.
I am stuck questioning my character,
Developing a block so thick.
My thoughts are deafening,
It’s getting hard to concentrate on my breath.


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2.

Walking down this boulevard of new,
Trying to find a replacement, you.
I had myself a new single tracked mind,
Then you came along
You stopped my time.
You gave me time, you took it away
Every thing in me told me it was today,
The intuition and the hope don’t really differ
When I compare yesterday to every other Monday.

Standing in this place blasting out all of those aware,
Of my presence and my distant stare.
My Eyes, they contain
Barely a trace of me.

Do you want to race me?
I’ll bet you anything
I can run the fastest out of this place.
I’ll out run the guilt,
Before you know it’s on my face.
I’ll out run the silence
Screaming at me to hold on,
I’ll out run that fear
of ending up with no one.
I’m too hungry too have a proper appetite,
I’m too tired to ever sleep right.
I’ll be ok ,
Maybe even so much as fine.
as long as you don’t catch me,
things will change over time.
I kept this thing sweet and toned to a low,
Humming sound that’ll never grow.

Before I fell too fast,
Now I brace myself with that past.

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3.

I can’t help but notice the difference of life now as compared to then.
I felt stronger, faster, brighter.

I know I can go on without you,
But I would love my skies to contain a little more pigment.

I miss the blue that always shone through; no matter how bad I always knew,
You would be there to help me pull through.

I ask that you please don’t leave me,
But I’ll be never voice that request.
To do such a thing would deprive me of precious rest,
That is so rarely found lately.

This is but a moment inspired by a song,
And a few stomach knots that will be gone before long.

I just miss you. I love you, I always have.
I won’t be cheesy and say some infinite mass.

I just love you, simple as that.
You were always too cute to keep eye contact,
If I ever dared it was like a hard hit.

It’s getting so hard to pull away,
Just like now, you hold my gaze.
You may not be here, but still I am fazed.

I won’t see you for so long,
‘Cause you’ll be traveling farther along
Just like this song, it will be over.

I don’t want it to be over; you’re on my play list repeat.
I go for this in dedication to all we had previous this mess I made,
I’ll make you proud of the life I’ve made
I hope you can at least be that.
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4.

Biting my nails to the bone, watching as all my aspirations have grown; into dreams in my mind as opposed to the developed into reality in the lives others. I am wanting to be in too many places at once, exploring my options trying to find my place. I keep losing my self, trying to keep up with twelve paces. I've never been so lost. Someone please drown out the silence, it strikes my entire existence with the most horrible pang of insignificance.

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5.

This is the deepest breath I have taken in a while. I take in the hope and the pure scent of doing well. I breath out the cants, could nots, and wonts. As I do this i feel my focus build up from the ground but when I do I can feel my mind begin to tear at the seams. That is when the rhythm of mind and heart flow, that is when my imagination begins the grow grow grow. below. With each of these breath's I feel my mind begin to make room for all the possibilities that my life may begin to take. Somedays I forget to just breathe.

November 25, 2009