Poem about a man from Trinidad who claims to be a professor of metaphysics. |
"The Wonderful Trinidadian Professor of Metaphysics" I sat in an eight by eight ramshackle cottage with a sixty-something Trinidadian man—clothed in faded jeans and a turtleneck like a moth’s personal smorgasbord— who looked me in my right eye and said, “Did you know, in Pakistan, there something is, a miracle, a wondrous natural occurrence only saw once a lifetime.” “On with it,” I responded, waiting for whatever expectedly nonsensical rubbish would spew forth like Dracula appeared there not two days prior or Three aliens played a rock concert just to prove they could or The trees began to dance and sing songs of Fitzgerald and Chaucer, but he said something quite on par, but decidedly different, he said, “Believe when I say this, but there is a mermaid, right there in the museum!” I of course, in a manner of speaking, didn’t believe a god damn word from the old man’s mouth, never had, never will, but the more I pondered and the more he spoke the more I thought who is to say, here and abound that there aren’t mermaids sitting mummified in the Karachi museum or even drifting with undertow some miles off shore sharing stories of the leggĂ©d men, the ones who dwell off sea and sometimes, just sometimes, come out into the palaces of mermaids and Poseidon to boast about their robots and fishing lines and every once in a while will come without technology, but only deep enough, just deep enough that they can still see that faint flicker from the sun that sustains them so and they ceaselessly crave and where they sing songs of summertime while wastefully wrecking the etchings and specks of civilizations long past that sunk to the bottom, to the place where mermaids and mermen dream and eat and sing their own songs of saddling massive seahorses and whale stampedes, wars with the remaining tribes of fish-tailed fellows who, just like mountain men and people from the deserts and islands, like to pillage and plow down others because of poorly written accounts of ancient men who gave their word to return at some distant, ambiguous and erroneous time. Who’s to say this isn’t the case? Google, of course, provides the truth; A quick search and you will find that the Karachi Mermaid, while vaguely interesting, is nothing but a grandiose hoax, but don’t tell the professor because without thought that old Trinidadian will tell you that all things paranormal— ghosts, ghouls, goblins, unicorns, vampires, zombies, mermaids, dragons, big foot, loch ness, Pegasus, or even that elusive, rarely seen monster that lurks in the shadows of daytime television, Dick Cheney—exist. But at the end of the day, when the beers are gone and the bar next door is closed down for the night, even if it is the last he has, he’ll share a cigarette and tell you, whether believable or not, the story of standing on his roof in Trinidad during Georges, nailing it back to the roof-beam— rain smacking him about and the wind threatening to pick him up and toss him across the sea to Venezuela—and laughing his scattered laugh, the one that sounds as if every morning, instead of paste and brush and Listerine and floss, he chews up cigarette butts and gargles decade old motor oil, as his neighbor’s roof tore from the frame and completed perfect Cirque du Soleil flips down the road. Then he’ll ask, “Can I go?” though he knows you’re not the bartender and he has no tab to pay, yet he’ll say it once more and then when you don’t expect it, he’ll be gone. Because as he’s told you again and again and again he knows all there is to know of knowing and he can turn invisible. |