A Song For My Personal Sun

A song for my personal sun

For example like fireworks, they are unforgettable and if the one and only love…If such a thing existed then that is probably the love I went through when I was seventeen. The melody that has never been forgotten all these years is still music in everyone’s ears. There is a saying that it takes the same time to forget about the person you love as to when you were once together but we were only together for three months and yet memories of you still lingers in my mind. I guess you are just a piece of music that can never be forgotten. Yet hearing this piece of music resonate in my ears shatters everything inside me. Before you came into my life everything I did was up for nothing, I didn’t have any hopes or dreams, no matter what I did I never shined as bright as the sun and for me, life was nothing but a game…until I met you. I dreamed and prayed for you to stay by my side forever but you still left, was I being punished for all the things I have done…was it too late to start a new life…or was it just our destiny to end this way? The future we dreamt together…ended. Is it always this hard to protect the person you love? Wanting to by their side forever, wanting to have a happy ending like those fairytales and for once to be able to go against time but in reality those things only exist in dreams and fantasies and once you wake up you realise that you yourself is hopeless. No one can go against time, broken hearts, broken promises and dried tears are all that is left like a piece of jigsaw that has a missing piece.

Hinata walked towards the magnificent shining clear blue lake surrounded by green misty trees. The wind blew; the sun shone and blinded Hinata as he looked up. Hinata squeezed the small brown clay pottery clutching it like a beast not wanting to let go of his prey. He slowly turned around and faced Akemi’s family and his classmates. His faced twitch little by little forcing his mouth to smile, it seemed painful not just for him but to everyone watching. Tears clouded Hinata’s vision; they slowly dripped from his eyes just like a rain starting.
“Can you see it Akemi? The sun hitting your pale snow-white skin, can you feel the warmth of the sun? Can you hear the songs of the birds and the mild wind blowing? I wanted to say those sentences to her when she is finally able to walk under the sun but to think it will end like this. The place she longed to see, the sun she wished to touch, everything ended right after we parted our ways, was she always this quiet…I want to hear her voice again…”
Hinata dropped to his knees still clutching onto the brown pottery. He tried to push himself up with his left hand but he had no strength, the brightness of their paradise slowly draining his energy. Hinata punched his numb legs trying to transfer energy onto it but he felt like there was nothing there…just emptiness. Tears began to piling up in those small eyes and began to flow once again.

“Hinata…” his Akito whispered softly while walking towards him.

Akemi’s mother covered her mouth and slowly turned to her husband bursting into tears just like a balloon with too much water, her father put his shaking hand to stroke his wife’s back, he softly kissed her soft jet-black hair. He didn’t cry, not even a shed of tear came down from his eyes but, his facial expression, his movements were stiff and his eyes didn’t seem like they were looking at the woman but it was as if he was looking straight pass her…he seemed lost as if his mother abandoned him. His eyes saw nothing they were empty…he did not speak; he just kept stroking his wife’s back while she cried her eyes out on his chest. The silence grew louder and louder, it filled the empty ears of everyone around this paradise but to them this seemed like a place with only bloodshed and the sound of war, I began to sing the song she once sang here, the place we called paradise.
“Never alone, wherever you go, whatever will come, what may? No other way, And I’ll give my endless love to you…I’ll find my way to you, Close to your heart, then never let go. Remember the love we knew…”

Just like any other plain boring day, I departed from my shabby looking house to play with my lovable sport, basketball. The sun was shinning down with great intense heat but the cold wind neutralised the burning rays. To me, holding this medium size ball is almost the world in hands but I am no good like my two friends Akito and Jiro but basketball is already a part of me, weird right? Especially coming from an idiot like me who knows nothing about the gigantic world but like everyone else I also want to have an enjoyable life with dreams, hopes and goals but maybe my brain is not prepared for that just yet. After all, if you knew me you would probably think the same. Everyone refers to me as the class clown and I feel happy that I can make them smile but sometimes even a clown feels like an idiot for doing crazy things but what can you say I just take a free ride towards the end of my life that is what I thought at least. That sunny morning, the warm breeze and those light rays piercing your skin like a needle. I dribbled the ball, just standing there under the scorching sun dribbling, I felt like I was being fried alive. Sweat came pouring down as if I have my own personal weather above my head. I sat under the cool tree with my back resting on the hard and rough tree trunk. I slowly closed my heavy eyelids slowly drifting to my own world and there I heard a sound even though I am not a music expert I could tell the person playing was an amateur but somehow those missing notes and broken chords calmed me down. I no longer felt those painful needles striking my skin nor the sweat dripping down from my face. I felt cool and relaxed; and after a while, I no longer cared about the time or any of my surroundings except the sound of the piano.

The heavy black curtains blocked my last hopes of freedom along with the tinted windows not letting even a tiny speck of sunlight in. The cold empty and spacious room locked my empty soul like a bird in a cage. I looked around and found no sign of life not even mine. All the objects that surrounded me were silent, not one movement or one sound. I tried to convince myself that life was more than living in a lifeless room with no freedom. The paradise I pictured more than one hundred times the emotions I wish to feel and the joy I wish to experience. Wanting to be like everyone else but what, did that truly mean? My dreams, my goals and my hopes what were they? To other people, what was I to them, a nuisance, a family or just a living empty soul waiting to perish like a ghost. I slowly walked in my empty room, I heard each footstep I made, the creaking floorboards gave me a sign of life, the sound of the piano and the sound of the broken chords gave me hope and motivation. I knew myself that I could do more but my actions were limited. How I longed for another life to appear before me and to hear a soft gentle voice to speak to me. I want to smile, to laugh and to cry just as a normal person would but there was nothing funny, no reason to smile or anything sad that is worth crying for. Reading books, playing the piano, singing my heart out, eating and sleeping were the only enjoyable things I do and sometimes I even think of role-plays to act, of course all the characters are acted out by me. To others it must seem like a boring child game since they can run and fool around underneath the bright sun whilst to me it is nothing but a life taker. The big bright balloon that seems to make everyone smile is a lethal weapon that can kill me in an instant, just the thought of wanting to be underneath the sun slowly twist my dreams into a horrible nightmare that I can never wake up from. Waiting and waiting, I do not know for how long but I kept on waiting for darkness to engulf the sunlight, to engulf the bright light that keeps me away from the freedom I long for, the beautiful smell of the mild breeze, the trees that shine under the starlight sky and the grass that light up like glittering jewels. Just a few more minutes the darkness will come.

The cold wind struck me followed by a freezing hand, frozen fingers pressed against my cheeks one by one, my face twitched several times and after a couple of minutes it suddenly stopped. I heard a small and quiet giggling next to me; I slowly opened my heavy eyelids and focused on the person giggling next to me. Long jet-black hair shone underneath the glittering moon, her face was pale, too pale, and she could be mistaken for a dead corpse. My eyes opened like a camera shutter ready to capture an art piece, dead corpse, a dead corpse, there is a dead corpse giggling next to me! The cold wind froze my entire body, I felt drugged. Slowly and quietly, I dragged my whole body with my hand backwards; I tightly held onto a low branch and managed to get my heavy body up. My legs were shaking like jelly; she suddenly became quiet while I was focus on trying to get my leg straight as quickly as possible. I looked at her; she was slowly lifting her head upwards whilst her hand dropped to her side. I shook with the trees as soon as another wind blew past me. Taking one-step at a time, I twist my body half way and made a run for it, I do not know how long I ran but I kept on running thinking that the girl was still following me. I knocked on the door furiously, my mother opened it while shouting at me but I pushed my way past her, ran to my room, locked my door and shut the windows. I shivered continuously despite the fact that my room was hot, trapping the cold air out and the warm air around me, a dead corpse I repeated in my head, a dead corpse.

The person about my age ran continuously forgetting about the orange round ball he left behind, I looked at my hands and my white nightgown with gold flowers embroidered carefully from the hem of the gown to the waist. I stared at the orange ball continuously, picking it up like a delicate glass statue; tightly I gripped it afraid to break the delicate toy. The ball fell to the ground bouncing up and down  whilst moving further away from me, I ran after it while huffing trying to catch my breath, it became harder and harder, the toy finally stopped, I picked it up and took it inside the house. Desperately thinking on what to do with the orange ball in my hand I purposely dropped it onto the old wooden floor, it bounced and bounced further away from me, I ran towards it, picked it up and dropped it again, I don’t know how long I carried on with this continuous cycle but it fascinated me. Small glint of light rays suddenly appeared in the living room; nervously I looked at the bright light casting small shadows in the living room. I picked up the ball one more time and ran towards my room, hurriedly I dropped the ball, letting it go from my tight grasp and locked my door, the heavy sound of the lock echoed in my room maybe even around the house. It reminded me of the heavy locks from the metal jails which echoed along with the screams in the cold empty corridor just the thought of it frightened me to the point I dropped onto my knees. When will I ever be free from this emptiness, I repeatedly questioned myself. 

Few days, a few weeks how long has it been since I have been to that place? Despair and emptiness just because of that basketball, I begged my friends continuously to come with me to get the ball back even though I was called a ‘wimp’ numerous of times. That did not bother me as long as I get the ball back since it is the only thing my deceased father has left for me. Finally, after begging for so long, they decided to come with me but with one condition, a condition I do not want to agree on but I did for the sake of getting the ball. We walked through the forest and the darkness absorbed us but thanks to the small light rays, we were able to pass through the thick canopy of the forest. Hurriedly I ran towards the others who already reached the top, my body heavily dropped on the damp soil and water soaked through my fingers as I tried to lift myself up. I heard a few small laughs in front of me and two of my friends, Akito and Jiro both put their right hand towards me. Grabbing it tightly I pushed myself to my feet whilst they pulled me with a humongous strength. The house seemed brighter than the pictures I saw from the internet, it was old with a foreign smell from the soil to the roof, the air around it also smelt different from when we were on the bottom of the forest. The old western house was more beautiful and elegant than what others described as a horror house but it somehow feels lonely. Thoughts about the girl I saw a few nights back was probably haunting this house for a long time, maybe she was looking for someone, a special person but she seemed alive not enough to be categorised as a spirit or a ghost. She seemed like any normal girl but much paler than others, much, much paler. We tried opening the door but it was lock and our knocks travelled throughout the forest and the house itself. Maya and Jiro looked for an opening at the back of the house whilst Akito and I checked other windows to see if they were loose. Mei and Kana stayed with our bags, the sun was already disappearing and the darkness came to us bit by bit like a hunter ready to pounce on his prey. We hurriedly searched for a flash light form our big bulky bags causing our food supplies and sleeping bags to fall out. We heard a sound. A creaking sound from loose wooden floorboards and the sound of a lock being twisted slowly to open something heavy. Behind us the door slowly opened whilst creaking on its way, the door only opened a little bit almost like a big crack but not big enough to let a human fit in it. Maya slowly and quietly opened the door further, as she crept inside we heard floorboards creaking and lights went on and her footsteps disappeared. The rest of us followed, we called her name numerous of times but she did not answer. As we went in a spacious room which appeared to be the living room, our mouths dropped open enough for a thousand bees to fly open. Our eyes averted from one wall to another, from top to bottom and from left to right, the room was decorated with magnificent rich colours, furniture’s that seemed to expensive and delicate to touch. The room was clean; no one could find one speck of spider web I guess our imagination was a little bit too wild. Kana screamed louder than a lioness roaring. We turned around in surprise. My heart skipped a beat. I did not dare turn around, my body felt cold and I felt my knees knocking to each other. Then I heard a few laughs, I turned around to see what happened and saw Maya hugging Kana whilst apologising, my racing returned to normal. I sighed in relief, I turned away from them to look more carefully at the room, my eyes squinted to find any orange ball lying around but none could be found. My feet dragged my body slowly and then I froze, I heard a small giggle, it was the same, the same as the girl giggling next to me quite a long time ago.

I giggled quietly whilst covering my mouth trying to keep my laughter in. They seemed like friendly people, I wanted to talk to them but I felt scared and timid. What if they scream and run away from me like that boy the other time? Will they show the same frightened face like that boy? Small quiet footsteps slowly got louder and louder, I covered my mouth, my breathing became unstable. The footsteps stopped. I quickly took my hand away from my mouth and grasp for breathable air to enter my body. A shadow emerged from behind me my whole body shuddered and I was unable to move. My unstable heart banged onto my rib cage. As the shadow disappeared, I slowly crept my way up to the first floor of my house to go to my bedroom but on the way, one floorboard suddenly creaked making me jump and causing me to push the small table behind me. The clear flower vase smashed into pieces the sound echoed all the way around the house, I heard murmurs. Not bothering about the vase, I quickly ran to my bedroom and shut the door. The door created a loud bang as I shut it. My heart was still unstable, it was still hammering onto my rib cage, and I dropped on the floor while laughing quietly. This was the first time I had so much fun. I threw myself onto my soft white bed with blue embroidery neatly done and placed my favourite doll in front of me, I played with her golden hair, fixed her hat and dress. The corner of my mouth turned upright as I stare into her silver grey eyes and the orange ball caught my eye. Lifting myself up, I slowly walked towards the ball, crouched down and picked it up. Was he looking for this? I dropped the ball and tried to dribble but it was no use, the ball just kept rolling away, I picked it up and tried repeatedly.

The sound of a ball enchanted me, it is the same, the exact the same sound my ball makes. I ran after the faint sound, I no longer cared about rumours about the ghost nor the loud sound we heard earlier. My feet kept moving towards the sound, my heart beat accelerated. Suddenly the sound stopped, I also stopped running. As I looked up a white door stood in from of me, I turned the cold silver metal handle slowly and cautiously pushed the door inwards. The moon shone on the tinted windows whilst shinning towards a girl with long straight black hair and a white nightgown with gold embroidery stitches. Her head slowly turned against me and her light amber eyes cast an immediate spell on me. Slowly my feet began to move forward, I realised I could no longer stop, the girl stood up whilst holding my basketball. Unknowingly my hand reached towards her, she faintly smiled and gave me my ball. Staring at it for quite a long time I finally managed to say ‘thank you’ to her, she did not speak but smiled under the bright moon. Loud, quick footsteps filled in the silence between us. Kana, Jiro, Akito and Maya appeared behind me, half of my body twisted to turn to their direction, they were panting heavily and they stared past me. I turned to look where their eyes were fixed on and the girl slowly bowed to us and smiled. She introduced herself with a small quiet voice, she did not seem to be full Japanese, probably a mix since she has a strange eye colour that looks like the sun except darker, she also had a strange name, Akemi Grace Carter. I do not remember how but for all I can remember visiting that old western house suddenly became part of our everyday routine sometimes we would even stay there until the morning. The seasons only past us like the blowing wind. One summer night I decided to take her to my favourite place, of course just the two of us. Akemi and I walked toward the magnificent clear blue lake which was surrounded by misty green trees, she closed her eyes as soon as she saw it, was she preserving the image in her head? One day I will definitely come back with her in this place when the sun is ready to rise, not now but I am sure someday she will be able to enjoy the bright sun instead of thinking of it as a lethal weapon, one day for sure. Fireflies began to swim across us along with the soft cool breeze, I turned my head, and she opened her mouth and began to sing. I closed my eyes and leaned against the thin tree behind me letting her voice and the wind carry me away. The lyrics made me shed a silent tear, the feelings she hid inside her was unbearably painful, I had the urge to protect her with all my life and never do I want to leave her alone, not once, ever. It is highly unbelievable that Akemi who is born on summer during the brightest day is allergic to UV rays, isn’t people like her suppose to love the sun? Yet she hates it and loves it at the same, wanting to experience the light rays hit her soft pale skin and wanting to stay away from the murderous weapon. To us the sun was something we did not care about nor do we notice everyday and for us its only purpose is to give us light. Akito, Maya, Jiro, Kana and I brought tins of yellow, blue and white paints to Akemi’s house we also got most of our classmates to come along, us boys stayed in Akemi’s room with the tins of paint and sets of large paint brushes, whilst half of the girls went to the kitchen to make food. Maya, Kana, Kyoko, Mia and Mei stayed with Akemi in another room, I heard Akemi singing whilst playing the piano, I heard no other noise except the clapping at the end of each song. Jiro, Akito, Kei, Reno, Suzuki, Tanami, Tohru and Ran were in charge of painting the clouds around the room, Mirage-sensei, Hidaka, Nanami, Zen, Atsu,  Minato, Jay and me were in charge of painting the big bright sun on the wall and on the thick black curtains. Yumiko, Danatsu and Kuga were in charge of painting the birds. We endlessly continued work, no matter how tired we were we continued to work, the sweet voice gave us strength and the sweet, spicy and strong aroma from downstairs made us work faster since our stomachs were craving for food. Two hours after the sun set we finally finished the paint on the walls were drying quicker than we thought, strong aroma of food sipped into our nostrils and Akemi entered the room blindfolded while Kana and Maya were at either side of her, Kyoko, Mia and Mei followed them from behind. Everyone got into their position and I walked towards Akemi, I slowly untangled the tight cloth banded together and let it flutter slowly to the ground. Akemi slowly opened her eyes and we all shouted ‘Tanjoubi Omedetou!’ as loudly as we can, our voices echoed around the house and we heard birds flying away, they probably got scared from the all the shouting.
“We can’t bring you outside in the morning to show you the sun…so we all decided to bring the sun to you”
For once, I finally felt like I needed to live and continue to live along with Akemi by my side. She timidly smiled to us whilst tears became pouring down, she ran towards me and squeezed me so tightly that I found it hard to breath. I did not tell her to let go instead I hugged her back and kissed her cheek, I heard small laughter’s behind us and we quickly but softly pushed away from each other and turned to look at the floor. Just before the laughter and the joy ended, we took a picture with everyone in front of the big sun we painted.

My room changed from the dark lifeless room into a bright and wonderful room, a yellow semi circle was painted on the wall and on the black curtains, blue and white were mixed together to form clouds, white birds were also painted. It might not be a real sun but it was much more beautiful than my imaginations. I could not believe my eyes; it seemed too unreal, mixed emotions flooded my body like water pushing its way against the floodgates. My mouth began to form a crescent shape and raindrops slowly start to pour from my golden amber eyes. I ran towards Hinata and hugged him tightly, I did not know how tight but he never said a word instead he put both of his arms around me and hugged me back, the sweet smell of paint covered his body. I felt secure and warm, never once do I want to loose this warmth from him, my heart began to accelerate like a racing car, I wondered if he could hear it, my heart. I rested my head softly against his chest; I could here his heart beating, ba-thump, ba-thump it continuously repeated in my ear. I head small laughter’s behind us, I felt embarrassed and we both quickly pushed each other away, my face felt hot, my heart still banged against my rib cage loudly, could they hear it? Everyone then did their own poses in front of the bright sun, the small camera on a stand made a beeping noise four times and on the fifth beep and made a click sound instead. Mirage-sensei ran towards the camera and gave us a thumbs-up. Each one of them said their good bye’s after cleaning up the mess although I hesitated they still stayed and cleaned up. Hinata stayed behind for a couple more minutes to help me get anything else done. He then said his good bye after hugging me tightly, I did not want him to go, I did not want to be alone anymore, I was scared, and what if he does not come back? What will happen to me then? As soon as he set one foot out of the door, I grabbed tightly on his white t-shirt with patches of paint on it. He turned around to face me I looked down, I did not want him to see him like this, I seemed selfish, I hesitated at first but after a couple of tries I was finally able to let go of his shirt from my clutches. His left hand touched my burning cheek, I looked up and saw him smiling at me but his eyes seemed sad. Once again, he hugged me with his strong arms and softly kissed my hair. He quietly told me that he would not be able to visit me for a while since an important examination is coming; I wanted to say something but no words came out even though I opened my mouth several times, Hinata did not look at me confusingly but he smiled sadly as if he knew what I wanted to say. I continued to look at him; he held both of my small frail hands and kissed them. Slowly his face came closer to me, I closed my eyes and I felt his soft lips against mine, my heart bashed onto my chest, my fingertips felt hot as I wrapped my hands around his neck, Hinata then warped his arms against my waist. Unwillingly we pulled away from each other.
“I’ll wait for you here, you have to come back as soon as you finish”

I smiled at Akemi’s demanding order and that smile turned into a small laughter, she laughed quietly with me. I did not want to part with her and I can tell neither did she.
“I’ll come back as soon as I finish, that’s a promise so stay here and don’t wander around”
I continued to laugh quietly I felt like an owner leaving his pet behind for a couple of days. I turned away from Akemi slowly and walked away from her as a waved goodbye to her. I head the door shut behind me, I looked up at the dark blue sky with small glittering lights.
“Promise me you’ll wait for my return Akemi”
It has been five days but I am only on my third day of examination, thoughts of Akemi flew into my head, I kept wondering if she was safe, or if anything has happened to her, I should have given her a mobile phone. That night something did not feel right, not only did it suddenly rain heavenly, lightning and thunder were also present. It was summer so I understood why there is this type of weather around but somehow my chest began to feel tight, something felt out of place, I feel like I am doing something that I would regret, I was not particularly doing anything except standing near my window and looking at the heavy storm. Lighting flashed every three seconds and sometimes the thunder made me jump but I continued with my revision.

I covered my ears to stop myself  from hearing the loud murderous sounds of the thunder and buried myself under my bed covers and shut my eyes tightly, I tried closing two of my senses but it did not work. My whole body shook terribly, I felt light headed, my eyesight became unstable, I felt weak like a dying animal. Hinata where are you, I am scared, I do not want to be alone these thoughts kept running through my mind. The phone downstairs began to ring loudly whilst trying to compete with the thunder. Unsteadily I walked down the stairs and into the living room; my shaking hands grab the phone and slowly put it next to my ear. The woman on the phone softly called out my name, surprisingly her voice seemed familiar, and it was my mother. I opened my mouth to say mother but it did not come out, I tried again several times but my voice did not come out. It was as if my voice was locked in a small room, I opened my mouth once again but this time I opened them to say Hinata. I called out his name once more, the room began to swirl, it seemed to be eating me, my heavy body dropped on the floor taking the phone with me, mother began to change her tone, she seemed to be shouting, I tried speaking out but my voice was locked up again. What is happening, Hinata, mother, father, Kana where are you all? What do I do…someone help me please. The wooden door flung open and rain entered the room like a group of small soldiers. My mother came running towards me with my father talking on the phone, my mother had tears in her eyes while hugging me whilst my father talked on the phone furiously while looking worriedly whenever he turns to me. I lifted my left hand and touched my mother’s cheek, my hands were shaking not from the cold but from fear, I wiped my mother’s tears but they kept flowing out of her eyes. Unsteadily clinging onto the last sign of life, not now give me a few more days, I promised Hinata that I will be waiting for him here please, I kept pleading in my head but I felt to weak,  I  had no more energy just like a dying battery. Hinata please come quickly I do not know how long I will be able to cling on the light that is left inside me.

The morning sun cut its way through my curtains, I rubbed my eyes slowly and my mouth opened widely letting out I big yawn. After washing my face, I got dressed for school and just when I was about to go downstairs, small glass glistened under the sunlight. I walked towards it and found the picture we took in front the sun in Akemi’s bedroom fell down, the glass broken to pieces. I picked up the picture and carefully placed it on top of my drawer, I picked up the large glass pieces and one pierced against my skin, blood slowly gushed out from my finger so I quickly sucked it not letting one drop of blood to escape from my body. Once again my body felt cold and my chest tightened, it was much worse than before, it was hard to breath, something was definitely not right. I phoned Akito, Jiro, Kana and Maya, we quickly ran towards Akemi’s house, the front door was broken, Maya and Akito checked some rooms at the back, I went upstairs and Jiro went into the living room. My name was shouted several times and I ran downstairs as quickly as I could. We found Akemi’s bed cover and the telephone on the floor, footprints from muddy shoes were also found. A tall and well-built man with short light blonde hair and golden amber eyes appeared, I asked where Akemi was, there was a long pause between his answer. The man, Akemi’s father took us to the hospital in the town, we stopped in front of a room, as Akemi’s father slowly opened the door, and loud crying filled our ears. I pushed my way through my friends and Akemi’s father. I stood there looking at the body covered in a white sheet, I looked at the woman who managed to stop crying, she had the same hair as Akemi, after looking at her asking her with my confuse expression, I turned to Akemi’s father as soon as he met my gaze he turned away. Maya was hugging Kana tightly as she cried on her shoulders, Akito and Jiro also avoided my gazed, I turned towards the lifeless body in front of me and quietly began to laugh to myself. They all looked at me with pained expressions, I tried avoiding all their gazes but it struck me too hard, I tried convincing myself but I keep failing. This is not true, she clearly promised that she will wait for me, she said so herself.
“Akemi, quit joking around this is not funny! You…promised me, di…didn’t you, you said you will wait until I finish, you clearly promised me…A...Akemi…?”
Time seemed to have stopped for me, nothing seem to move no matter where I look everything seems so lifeless. Everything was frozen; I felt stuck in this time warp…Akemi where are you?

Everyday that past me, the silence grew louder and louder, it filled the empty ears of everyone around this paradise but to them this seemed like a place with only bloodshed and the sound of war, I began to sing the song she once sang here, the place we called paradise.
“Never alone, wherever you go, whatever will come, what may? No other way, And I’ll give my endless love to you…I’ll find my way to you, Close to your heart, then never let go. Remember the love we knew…”

A song for my personal sun