Not feeling pain and healing pain are not necessarily the same |
The Empty Heart By Montanazen It was the tradition of the monastery that at the beginning of the New Year the monks would come before the abbot for an evaluation of their spiritual progress. One such monk, a novice, came for his first evaluation. The novice and the abbot sat on their wooden benches in silence for a few moments and then the abbot looked into the eyes of the novice and inquired, “What is in your heart”? The novice wasn’t sure how to answer such a penetrating question but knowing that he had chosen a contemplative path took time to search deep within for his answer. Finally he answered, “Pain”. The abbot replied, “Very well, continue with your practice”, and that was the end of their session. The following year when the two met a similar scene ensued, the question and the answer where the same. And again the following year and a number of years after that, each time the monk looked deep within his heart he felt the pain and regret of his past. But then one year when the abbot asked the now somewhat seasoned monk, “What is in your heart”, the monk answered, “Nothing”. The abbot asked him to explain and he said again, “Nothing, the pain has gone”. The abbot asked him what had replaced the pain and the monk answered, “Nothing, just no pain”. The abbot again looked deep within the eyes of the monk and then struck him a hard slap across the face, followed by the blessing, and as always, “Very well, continue with your practice”, and that was the end of their session. The following year the two met again and as per his custom the abbot inquired, “What is in your heart”? The monk looked away for a moment in deep contemplation of his answer. When he turned his face to meet the gaze of the abbot a tear could be seen in his eye as he answered, “Forgiveness”. “Please explain”, the abbot said to the monk. The monk replied I forgive you for striking me; I forgive myself for the deep anger and harsh emotions it stirred in my heart. But most of all I forgive all who have ever caused me pain and myself for causing pain to others. I forgive my foolishness for thinking that an empty heart was an acceptable offering. As the monk finished speaking a light filled his eyes and he smiled for the first time in many years. The abbot bowed his head ever so slightly, returned the smile and said, “Very well, continue with your practice”, and that was the end of their session. 10-28-2007 |