Gymnastics

Close you eyes and take a deep breath 3..2..1, okay go! Or not. Should have know that I wasn’t going to not now not five minutes from now. I know maybe tomorrow! Yes, that’s what I will do! Tomorrow I will do it for sure. I will just get down and do this all over again tomorrow. Crap I can’t do that, it’s go time right now! Not to mention Mike will be mad if I put this off any more. Okay, lets put if off a few more minutes. “I’m going to get a drink,” I yell to mike and make a mad dash to the bubbler. Mike yells something in my general direction but I’m already have way gone by then. I get to the bubbler and splash a bit of water on my face, I look down and my hands they are red, swollen, sweaty, covered with chalk and there is no mistaking, shaking uncontrollably. I take a deep breath and it comes out shaky and uneven. I don’t think I have ever been this sacred in my life I feel the taste the salty sweat as I lick my lips, do things ever get scarier than they are right not? I answer my own question imdititly in my head, No. “okay, you can do this” I say it out loud but It doesn’t sound to convincing great I can’t even lie to myself. Mike is yelling at me from across the gym, he knows I need to do this; as do I. I walk slowly over to the bars I feel the warm tears leak from the corner of my eyes, now I’m crying and there is no way I will be able to hide it from Mike either he’s walking strait at me. I tip my head down when I reach him, I try to ignore him as I make my way over to the chalk bucket. He comes up to my side and puts his arm around me and says, “ You know kiddo, I wouldn’t make you do anything unless I was sure that you could do it! Have some confidence be the Abbey that I know.” I sniff, “You know I want to do this, more than anything! I’m just so scared what if something bad happens, I never done this before!” Mike just laughs and tightens his arm around my shoulders, “Abbey, Abbey, Abbey, you get you butt up on that bar right now and do your dam giants!” I sigh, I know Mikes right and he knows he’s right but neither of us have to say it out loud, he would never make do anything I wasn’t capable of doing. So trusting him with more trust than I have given any person I climb up the bar and wait for him to get on the block next to me. Mike is on one side and Jeremy is on the other. They both say world of comfort before I go, I realize now that it’s go time. No turning back, Jeremy only have a few minutes before he goes home for the night and there is only a half hour of practice left not to mention Mike is biting at my butt to do my giants before I leave tonight. They both tell me have faith and trust myself and go, for once I listen. I adjust my grips one last time and lean forward and cast up to my handstand, by now Mike and Jeremy both are holding me in the handstand and ask if I’m ready. I nod once and that’s when time slows, it was the longest moment of my life and one I will never forget. As I look down to watch my hands I feel one last tear fall from my eye and slip down the end of my nose and fall on to the bar below my body. This is when I understand that nothing absolutely nothing in life can hold you back they only thing that will stop you from doing anything is yourself. They guys let go of me as I grab the bar like I have done it for years I slip easily around the bar and resume my position at the top of the bar in my original handstand, at the advisement of my coaches I go around a few more times before I straddle the boxes and end the last of my fears. Its over the most scary moment of my life is now behind me and the tears are gone but what replaces them surprises me. I have one of the biggest smiles plastered to my face, I stand up with my smile and I look to Mike that has an identical smile staring back at, we look at each other and he grabs me and embraces me in a hug that I had so desperately deserved. He tells me that he was happy for me but not surprised, he knew I could do it and never had a doughty in his mind that I couldn’t do it. Its weird how someone can have more faith in you than you do yourself. I did something that I swore I would do someday, while others told me I couldn’t. Sometimes you need other people there to make you do the things you know you could do all along! As I tell Jeremy thanks for making me do my giants he just laugh and say, “We didn’t make you do anything, you did it all by yourself. Say thanks to Abbey!” I smile at the last part when he winks and says my name, I felt my self start to blush as I turn and run for Hannah’s screaming arms. I stop dead in my path as I realize she is in full sprint running toward me, I close my eyes and brace for impact as she jumps in to me and we are both instantly knocked to the ground my her force. She continues to hung me for a few more seconds when we began to laugh and roll on the ground both excited that I did my giants. That day was one of the best days of my life. I know now that I retired from gymnastics and my favorite sport lies in my past, but there are many things that I will still always carry with me. In gymnastics I meet incredible people both coaches and gymnast that I will never forget but the one thing that will never leave me is knowing the feeling of doing the impossible and pushing yourself to limits you never even imagined. I love gymnastics in ways I don’t think people could ever understand, except for other gymnasts!