The wolf & the 7 lil goats (or barrels)

The Wolf And The Seven Little Goats Barrels

Once upon a time there was a family of goats living in a house in the woods - mother goat and her 7 kids.

One day it was time for the kids to return to school again - the mother always had told their kids "never talk to strangers or even follow them - no matter if they offer you sweets or other gifts!"

"The big bad wolf is predastinated for such tricks, don't trust him, go your way straight to school!"

"We will follow your warnings, mum" answered the oldest of the kids, who was always looking after the others.

So the kids left, mother gave all of them a last goodbye kiss.

The way to school was quite long and of course the wolf already had prepared himself for attacking them and already imagined how good such a meal could be.

At a glade he was waiting for them, as they passed by he jumped out of his hiding in front of them, shouting "I'm the big bad wolf, and I'm gonna eat all of you! muahahaha"

But the kids were smarter, every one of them kicked the wolf into his legs and then they spread out and ran off, letting the wolf lying down.

The wolf ached on the ground seeing them run off "Wruff, I must find a way to get them - And that quickly!"

So he was thinking of masquerading and tempting them with sweets, and when they all sit down he's gonna eat all of them.

He stood up and ran down the shortcut he knew, where he met an old granny with a basket of sweets, he was forcing her to hand him over the basket and her cloth "or else I'm gonna bite off your nose!"

The granny did not believe, hit him with her stick, but the wolf caught the stick, smashed the granny down the ground and took away her clothing and the basket, in which he also found chalk, which he swallowed to make his voice sound soft and smooth.

Masqueraded as old granny he went to another glade and encountered the kids again, and spoke with his soft voice to them: "oh what a wonderful day, today, I'm tired from the long walk, do you kids want some sweets? and sit down with me?"

The wolf sat down, the kids took the sweets, but the oldest one immediately said "we don't take sweets from strangers!" and threw the candy bar onto his head, so did the others, and then they all ran off again.

The wolf was a little bit dizzy from that but soon came to himself again and said: "Wruff, well wait you little kids! I'll get you, and that before I will go home to my wife!"

The kids arrived at school, and the teacher started with the topic about the wolf and not following strangers or taking gifts from them - So the kids told him the story about their encounters already that day - the teacher told them "you did that just right! Never get weak in such situations!"

Meanwhile the wolf was walking down a path not far from the glade, where he saw a lonesome house, appearently it seemed to be inhabited, because out of the chimney it smoked.

"Hah!" he thought "I`m gonna tempt them to here or capture them and bring them here and eat them all!"

So he stepped in the door where he found a fisherman who was just fixing his net, the wolf thought "this would be ideal to capture them"

So he was attacking the fisherman, telling him to leave to wherever he came from or else he's gonna eat him up completely - the fisherman was so perplexed and scared the he ran off immediately and was never seen again.

The wolf closed the door and looked around - he saw 10 big barrels standing in a rown on the side... he moved one of them and noticed they were filled, but there was no sign of what it is inside - so he was thinking it could well be just water. "Muahaha, so I can drink one barrel for each goat I gulp and then I have 3 more to wash it all down!"

With that he was taking the net, walking out and to the path where the kids will come home from school.

He installed a clever trap with the net and foilage, which would capture all of them in one occassion - since he remembered they all walked in a group together.

Then he hid behind a bush and waited.

The kids arrived and the net captured them all - with that the wolf came out of his hiding and laughing out "Muahahaha! Now I have all of you!"

He cut off the net and pulled the net behind himself into the house and locked the door.

"Now you kids, I wanna have some fun too" he dissected the net and let the goats run around, he shouted "go hide yourselves!"

The goats did, one below a basket, the other in the washbowl, another one under a shelf, one under the table, one in the bed, another in a pile of hay and the youngest one in the wall clock.

"Hah, now I'm gonna eat you! hahahaha!" - with that he grabbed the one from below the table, and drank the first barrel immediately after it.

The wolf in his voracity did not notice the taste and that the content of the barrels was beer.

He did so for the next 5 when he was slightly tipsy, he sat in a chair and started to count "1, 2, 3.....4, hick!, 5...6, wha?, I dis no jush eat siss of them yet, did I?" Then he saw a small head peaking out in the wall clock
"Wait, am gonna get shou too!" .... "but first of all am gonna drink another barrel!"...the wolf got the last goat and drank the last 3 barrels.

And kind of noticed that he had become quite fat and he felt kind of strange too, everything seemed to be circling a little and things looked doubled.

"Hick! I canna go soo my wife in sis state, but I canna neither no go home, hick!"

So he decided to walk home, but when he took the first step everything in his belly seemed to slosh and swash......"huuh? wassssloshin'swashin in my tummy?....oh right, the barrels!"

So he moved on, ripped out the whole wodden wall with his fat belly, down to his home

He still could walk kind of straight but that was going to change soon...

as he walked by the pub he was often visiting, and one of his saloon friends was shouting and asking him what happened.

So the wolf toddled towards and into the pub (which had a wide opened door anyway) and told his story...

his friend said "indeed, you can not go to your wife in this state" and
the wolf also said "but I sill feel like as iffa coul'drink a whole lake, hick!"
his friend continued "we gonna help you!"
"Guys!" he shouted and meant a group of his mates, who were carrying a big barrel with red wine "you know what to do!"

And before the wolf could even react, the guys where filling him up with the huge barrel.

Finished, the wolf looked now like a huge waterball with only his toes of his now hugely swollen feet looked out, which also smelled the same amount as much as they have been increased in size,...he was also so drunk that he could not even stand straight anymore and only lalled something like "thanssssuys" out. The wolf left but in a way... like 3 steps to the front, 1 to the side and one back.

His friend only said: "I've never seen anyone that filled up!"
one of the other guys agreed: "neverever have I been so full!"
then they laughed and continued drinking their beer.

Meanwhile in a tree some guy was drinking bloat coke, appearently it did not work on him so he threw off the can, and it landed on the wolfs belly just as he arrived the terrace of his house.
The can landed that badly that the wolf slurped the little bit leftover in it.

So when he arrived on the terrace he swell another bit and now could not even move in any way anymore.

His wife was stepping out at the same time, 'cuz she was woken up by the sloshy noise and the constant hickuping.

She asked her husband "what happpened to you again, eh?"
He only answered with something like "lallalalall, hick, lalalallllalll" and smiled......at least it looked like he did.

His wife only said "oh you dumb wolf, you!" and hugged him deeply "I sooo love you, my big fat wolf!"

The wolf only responded with another "hick!" and slept in on the same place where he stood at.

And if he did not die from intoxication, he's now way fatter than he was back then!

The End