System Upgrade

Benedict sat slouched in the waiting room chair with his eyes closed. A serene smile shaped his face, the very image of Nirvana. Coupled with his weight, he struck the very image of the Buddha. Internally, his spinal unit had released its tensioners as the artificial disks in the unit inflated slightly for added comfort. Organs that had been removed had left extra room for shifting within his body cavity. In his mind, he was viewing the latest roller derby game as it was fed into the appropriate sense receptors in his nervous system. The body’s system agent was running a maintenance routine to keep his nerves calm and his mood happy.

“Benedict? We’re ready.” The voice came to him from outside of his head. He opened one eye, revealing an eye pure in its whiteness and with a brilliant blue iris that must have been created by a top artist. A brunette waited for him, smiling. Benedict’s posture deflated further, and then the spinal unit tensors lined up his body, pulling it erect. The disks deflated to their “riding” position. Mentally, he left the game for now. It would be as easy as walking into another room to start it up again.

“Great! I’m having a problem.” He wobbled, and then began gliding behind the nurse technician, his joints increasing viscosity and range of motion to attain maximum efficiency, giving him the strength and balance he needed to move his corpulent body. “Do we really have to do this?” he asked, looking as she prepared to take his vitals. “Honestly, if you want my system logs,” his eyes lost focus for a moment, then continued, “I’ve just sent my basic data to the usual address.” He continued, muttering, “Not like you haven’t already received it today, but whatever!”

“You mentioned you’re having a problem?” The nurse technician was orbiting him now with a sensor, setting it on various places on his chest, and different points of his head.

“Damn right. I have been very specific about how I want this equipment to work together. There is no reason why I should feel the slightest bit of confusion when someone speaks to me while I’m running an experience. I’ve had the memory upgrade and added a co-processor. I should be humming! Instead, I’m experiencing a roller derby in your waiting room, you call out, and I’m getting derailed.” He moved his hand to a point under his arm and pressed, calming back down to a serene smile.

The nurse technician scowled. “Mr. Benedict, you knew that this could happen. You reach a different zone when you get the co-processor. The internal senses and the external senses are processed in parallel. The organic processor still needs time to catch up.” Crossing her arms, she continued, “Besides, you had us set the maximum degree of parallelism higher than specs, if you remember.” She reached for her wrist to access her remote administration tools. “Shall I tune you back down?”

Benedict sighed. “No. The human body excels when it is stressed, and this will be the most perfect of human bodies. Of human systems. I have the money, and you have the technology. Let’s roll.”

She continued looking at her wrist as she navigated the various tools. “And what of your digestive system, since it’s a prerequisite to the next upgrade. Are you missing the kidney? Pancreas?” He shook his head. She scanned his system logs for anomalies. “It seems you are ready for your upgrade! Do you have a special shutdown procedure, or shall I ring up your last dose of…”

Benedicts eyes bulged. “Do not ring up anything! This body is a living system with defenses, routines, and a precise chemistry. It is six years in the making, and with each month, I take another evolutionary step toward perfection. I will need none of that,” he finished, fighting his mass onto a gurney. Again, the press under the arm brought him to State Zero. Buddha returned.

The nurse technician shrugged as she made motions into a communicator to ready the doctor. “Suit yourself, tough guy.” He had already shut down and was lying there like a mannequin. His perfect skin shone under the lights of this room: one of the first upgrades. What he had not counted on was the damage as he enjoyed the riches of his success, gorging on champagne, wines, and the richest foods.

An hour later, Benedict awoke. The nurse technician was there, eyes glassy with her own experience running. She could be on the beach right now, for all he knew. “Hey there, how’d it go?”

She blinked, returning to the room with the slender man. His system had run a nicely built post-op routine that obviously left him feeling pretty well. “It’s done. The doctor removed one hundred fifty pounds from your frame and installed the bypass, as ordered.”

“Excellent! How does it work?” He sat up. The adjustments needed in joint fluid and muscle add-ons were much less than usual.

“Everything you eat goes into a chamber positioned at the end of your esophagus. Ten percent or less is routed to the stomach. From there it proceeds normally, depending on blood sugar levels, calorie expenditure, and all the rest. It’s all automatic, and the firmware is on version seven. That always makes me feel better. You know that the system has been patched and improved.”

Benedict nodded and rolled his hand to indicate she could skip the sales talk. “Get to the good part already!”

“The other ninety percent is sent to a bladder within your body cavity. It has its own tubing and pump. All you need to do is visit the restroom and purge. Nobody is any wiser and you can eat all day long. In fact, we encourage it!”

Benedict’s head fell forward and he shook it, heavy with emotion. “You know,” he said, “this human system has taken a very important step forward today in reaching perfection.”



Word Count: 1000