HUMILITY

         Growing up as a Christian, I was often given messages about humility and told that there was such a thing as false humility. I was serious about trying to live a life pleasing to God and I was always questioning my motives for every action. But, I was never convinced that I was being honest about my claims to love Him. I did not love myself, and did not equate the two. Other people were all better than me in my opinion, so how could I practice humility.

         But, at the same time, I also believed that I was special, different, and better than others. That was pride. That was sinful, so I had to suppress it. I wanted to believe that I was special, that I was at least as smart and talented as other people around me, but that was not what the description of humility in Philippians seemed to be saying. We were told to esteem others better than ourselves. The only way I could see to do this was to put myself down as my brother did, intentionally and my father did unknowingly.

         I struggled with this and other issues throughout my teen years and even into my early adulthood. I was not living up to what I believed God wanted of me and I felt that I was a liar and a real disappointment to God. If I really did love Him, I would find it easy to show it was my thought
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         It took many years for God to show me the truth. I was special to Him and not a disappointment. He made me just the way He wanted me to be and He understood my vulnerability to Satanic attacks. He showed me how giving in to low self-esteem and not liking who I was dishonored Him because I was saying “God, You made a mistake. I don’t like how You made me.”And He showed me what humility really means.

                                                                     Honestly
                                                                     Understanding that
                                                                     My
                                                                     Importance is
                                                                     Linked
                                                                     Inheirently
                                                                     To
                                                                     Yours

         I don’t need to think other people are superior to me. What I am to understand is that our value as Christians is not on who we are as individuals; it is on who we are collectively. I am important when a Brother or Sister in Christ is important and their importance is linked to how I live my life. And all of us are linked to God. We would have no value if it were not from Him