Where god is Not

(Lost in unsleep a child's feet) tiptoeing
down to the kitchen in shadows the threads
of her nightgown unnoticed (curiosity) peeking
from behind the wall tip-toe tip-
toe tip-
her mother is washing the dishes
(and the plates with the little pink flowers on them)
with her fists clenched crying looking
up begging god give me strength
and there were (rivers in her eyes) glazed
worlds up to their elbows in soapy water
this was her mother who told her sit straight
at the table sit straight please
her hands calloused from folding shirt after shirt
wiping messes away
and the little girl found (her secret that night)
years later when she was all grown up
(they asked her if she believed
in god)
and she was silent as the threads of her night
gown (because all she think of was her mother
praying and crying to god
making sad sounds and washing the dishes)
with the little pink flowers on them