To Be In Love......

To be in love is what we are trained to desire and need our whole lives.

What does one need with all that damn love!

Damn Love is the correct term. 

Damn Love!!! Damn Love!!!

I walk, I breathe I inhale supposed love all day.

I am mad at love.

Love has no possible knowledge of how to treat one of its most devoted disciples. 

It has kicked me and damn near beat me down to the ground most of my teenage and adult life.

I have put my all into it, concentrated on it, studied it and still I am ignorant to its full affect.

People speak of a soul mate, of one who is made specifically and only for you.

Is that what I am to look forward to? 

My pride is battered, my heart has been beaten and I have questioned my own self-worth during my bouts with love.

In the beginning I would get banged up and blame the one that I was in the relationship with.

I realized that what I allow in can cause me great joy or severe and utter  pain from the inside out.

Love has been wearing my ass out over the years.

Don’t get me wrong, there are good times, but it is the worst pain I have ever felt.