Shadow

a constant battle
with myself
a constant shadow
all around
consistent feelings
cloud my head
sometimes I wish
that I was dead
so that my brain
would finally rest
and I could get this
off my chest
but I hold it in
and still I try
behind my smile
I try to hide
but its growing
hard to conceal
not sure how much
more I can feel
I'm bursting out
at the seams
I try so hard
sometimes it seems
Like I am falling
off a cliff
I think my heart
is growing stiff
my walls are growing
the bricks I've made
have gotten stronger
in this shade
Some are cracked
but still remain
I wonder if
I'll always feel the same?