Lycanthropy: Charlotte's Story Chpt 8

My lessons continued all through the Autumn and into Winter when the rains began. It was cold. The skies were grey and dark fell early. Jerry had turned me into a fit, fighting machine. I was thin and toned and I could now beat Jerry in a spar. He was proud of me and I knew he had nothing left to teach me.
Even though my body now knew all the patterns of his fighting methods, he made me practice, made me perfect my skills.
“Don’t get overconfident!” he yelled as I ducked a punch and slid to the side.
“But you’re so slow, Jerry!” I teased, ducking another punch and tapping him lightly on the ribs with my fist just to show I could.
“Slow! Do you think he will be slow? Do you think he will give you time to catch your breath and plan your next move?”
His words sobered me and he walloped me on my ribs, knocking the breath from me. I fell to the floor, gasping for air.
He smiled smugly at me. “You still have a lot to learn. Don’t let him talk at you when you’re fighting- it will just distract you.”
I sighed. It was early in the morning, about seven, and the sun was rising slowly on the horizon. We were in the Rose garden near the kitchen, and now we both turned to look into the bush. Niko emerged after a few moments, looking exhausted after a night on watch. He saw us watching and grinned, walking in our direction.
When he reached us he put his fists in the air and threw a few small punches.
I smiled at him scornfully. “You know you’d lose.”
“Ha!” he laughed, throwing a slow punch at my head.
Of course I ducked, but couldn’t help the action that followed. As I fell to the ground, my right leg swung out to swipe his legs from under him so he lost his balance and met me in the dirt as I crouched beside him.
I snorted with laughter as he landed flat on his back.
“She’s improved.” He remarked sourly to Jerry, getting up.
Jerry smiled slightly, looking me over. “That she has.”
I threw my hands in the air and gave what I thought would be a battle cry. The two men instantly lost their respect for me and turned to go inside.

I was in my room, sitting on my bed, gazing around me for something to do. I had long since finished the diaries. They were stacked on my bedside table, my favourite reading material and my study guide all in one. The entries had ended abruptly, as though he had outgrown them. Or couldn’t get back into the house, I thought.
Rain slammed against my window, and the howl of the wind unsettled me. I turned and picked up the last, most recent diary and chose a pen from the table. I turned the pages until I found the first blank page. I hesitated, then began to write.

My name is Charlotte Emma Scott and I have been living in your house, in your room for almost a year. When I first came here, I had no idea what they had planned for me.
A prophecy, started many many years ago when you were born is the reason why I’m here. One day soon, I’m going to have to fight you. I don’t know if I’ll win- I don’t know if I even want to win.
I don’t think you’d understand that. We’re different breeds, you and I. You’re a hunter, a killer, and the only battle I’m in is one with myself- do you deserve to be killed or not?
I think most people would say yes, you do. You’ve murdered innocent people and enjoyed it. You’ve killed for no reason but for pleasure, not for food and certainly not in defense. But for some reason, I don’t agree with them. Who am I to decide who gets to live and who gets to die? I’m only eighteen and already they’ve trusted me to make the right decision. Sometimes I wonder if they know… Taylor looks at me and I know he’s thinking about it- will she be able to do it? Will she be strong enough? I don’t know.

I looked at my handwriting engraving the page. It felt good to write something down. I glanced at the other diaries. He’s made his mark, I thought. It’s time to make mine. At least if something happens to me, it will all be here. The whole story.
There was a knock on the door.

Nik’s just got back home. He came in and told me that he thinks you were out there last night. He felt like he was being watched, and then he knew he was being followed. He could hear you, behind him, taunting him. What’s so great about that game?
I can hear them all chatting with excitement in the kitchen. It seems the time has arrived. You’ve come back, like they knew you would. My stomach is knotting in fear, I’ve got butterflies. I think it’s funny that I could be so afraid of the thought of seeing you again. And you- you’ll be normal, fine. You won’t be afraid.
I’ve read your words so many times I know them back to front, off by heart. Jerry makes me do it so I can find out what your weaknesses are. You don’t seem to have very many. I have lots. I think about that night when you were here and I often wonder if you think about it, too. Does it disgrace you that you needed me? How else would you have healed yourself, if I hadn’t been there? I’m feeling guilty, writing these words down, for anyone to find. If they knew what I’d done… I don’t know what they’d do. But if they knew I’d let you in then fallen asleep right beside you, they’d never forgive me. I think about that all the time- it’s a big secret.
You have to forgive me- because of what I have to do, because of why I’m here, I think about you all the time. Mostly I think about you in wolf form because it makes it slightly easier to imagine hurting you, but even then it’s hard.
Other times, more vulnerable times, I think about your face and your eyes. I wonder what colour they are. They were flat and grey when I first saw you but I think they would be amazing.

I wrote many entries like this one over the next few weeks because after Niko’s excitement over sensing Malachai, nothing happened. When I say nothing happened, I mean we didn’t see him again after that night. We got his messages, though. Livestock from around the area was going missing on a frequent basis. The fences weren’t torn or dug under, there was no evidence at all.
“It’s just like before.” Jerry whispered.
“It’ll be people before we know it.” Harriet replied helplessly.
They were all looking at me. I could feel myself reddening.
I looked at Jerry pleadingly. “I’m not ready yet…”
He nodded. “I think you are. As ready as you can be.”

“I’m telling you, he’s not there!” he yelled in exasperation. He was pacing in my bedroom as I lay on the bed watching him. He was frustrated because every night he’d been out, he was seeing nothing, but still animals were going missing.
I said nothing, thinking.
“When are you going to come out with me?” he asked abruptly, halting his pacing.
I sat up, startled. “What?”
“Well, you have to kill him, right? Shouldn’t you be looking for him?”
I glared at him. “Isn’t that what you’re doing?”
“No. I’m just keeping you safe until you’re ready to go out there yourself and put an end to all of this.”
“I’m not ready.” I said in a small voice.
Niko gripped my hands, forcing me to look at him. “Yes, you are. You’ve been ready for ages. You can’t keep hiding- you were made for this, remember that.”

And that was how I came to be here, in the bush in the middle of the night on my own. They had all been reluctant of course, but in the end, they knew only I could do what they needed. Not Jerry, not Niko, only me. They waved me from the house, their faces anxious.
I tried to find the bush therapeutic, like I normally did. It was a little cold, a little damp and the trees were swaying in the breeze, their long leaves grazing nearby trunks. The ground was solid under my feet because I did not stray from the path onto the grass… I would not actively put myself in more dangerous positions than I already had.
But I was nervous. I couldn’t stop my heart hammering in my chest. My hands were shaky and I jumped at the slightest sound or movement. One of the reasons I was so nervy was because I was out of my comfort zone- I couldn’t see well in the dark. And tonight was dark. There was no moon in the sky, and I had dared not take a torch. I didn’t want to be unpleasantly surprised on my hunt. Is that what this is? I asked myself. Is that what I’m really doing?
I did have weapons with me. I had a knife strapped to my belt and I had Niko’s gun in my hand. It was loaded, but it wasn’t ready to fire. The safety was on. I didn’t feel ready to defend myself- I didn’t feel strong and I didn’t feel unafraid. I felt like a defenseless, teenage girl. Which I wasn’t. Don’t forget, the voice from inside myself whispered. Don’t forget what you’re capable of. What was I capable of? Murder? a different voice whispered.
I sighed deeply. I’d had this argument with myself many times. What was right, what was wrong? How to make the decision that was right for everyone. I didn’t believe there was one. You could never please everybody.
There was a noise to my left and I immediately froze and lowered myself into a crouch, my attention directed toward the noise. I stayed completely silent, staring at a dark bush covered in some kind of blossom. It was making my nose itch. I crept a little closer, my gun out in front of me. The branches suddenly parted and I gasped as something burst from the darkness. A small brown rabbit extended its neck to sniff the air gingerly. It flicked its ears in uncertainty and I let out a shaky sigh of relief, standing up. The rabbit turned tail and dived back into the bush for cover.
My heart was beating overtime and I had a thin film of sweat on my upper lip. I wiped at it angrily. I was better than this.
I knew I could never kill him, I knew that. I knew that if I saw him, if I did find him, I would have the urge to talk to him. He was such a mystery, such a fantasy creature. I was so intrigued by him and his power, it was seductive. Anyway, that’s how the killer always dies in movies. If they get distracted into talking to their victim, they lose. The victim is frantically thinking, plotting, and finally executing their plan. The killer never makes it. Was I the killer or was he? Which character was I? I didn’t know.
I crept slowly along the path until it disappeared into thick undergrowth. I peered into the darkness- the path didn’t seem to reappear anywhere ahead. I turned and began my way back, gazing left and right, in front of me and then down at the path every few seconds. I couldn’t be too careful.
When I returned to the house, it was very early morning, about four o’clock. The house was deep in slumber, dark and silent. My window had been de-nailed and I was now able to come and go as I pleased. I wasn’t quite tall enough to get in without hurting myself. As it was, I hoisted myself up onto the ledge, scraping my belly as I did. I battled with my body to pull it up, but it was so heavy! My arms were screaming and beginning to shake under the weight. I finally managed to pull myself up a little further and fall through, bumping my hip painfully against the ledge. I turned back to the window to look at it with dislike, feeling the throbbing pain of my injuries.
I was too wound up to sleep. Instead, I wrote another entry into the diary. Another addition to the story.

I went hunting for you tonight. I was armed with a knife and a gun, but I felt helpless. I don’t know how to do this, I don’t know where to start. They think I should find this easy but they have no idea.
I don’t know what I’ll do if I ever do find you. I know I can’t kill you. I know I won’t let myself do that. But how can I still actively go looking for you each night if I know I won’t be able to hurt you when we meet? Of course you’ll kill me, that’s what you do. So what am I doing!? I know I can defend myself, but for how long? How ruthless will you be?
I have this argument with myself every day and most nights. Niko asks me what I’m thinking about but I can’t tell him because I know he wouldn’t understand. I don’t even understand. Harriet is kind and gentle with me, not saying a lot, which is better than questions, but I wonder if she’s thinking the same as everyone else.
I have nightmares about you when I sleep- violent, vivid images that I can’t erase. I’m scared that sooner or later I am going to find you and then I’ll die, and all this time, all this training, will have been for nothing.

“Breakfast!” Harriet shouted.
I’d just walked in from a night in the darkness, hunting, and it was the last thing I felt like, but I took a seat at the kitchen table next to Niko and waited meekly for my plate to be filled. Penny filed out from the hallway and I looked up in surprise. I turned and raised my eyebrow at Niko who refused to look at me.
Penny smiled as she sat down, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Morning.”
I grinned back elatedly. “Morning.”
My incessant smiling brought an embarrassed silence to the table that only ceased when an unaware Harriet slapped my plate down in front of me.
“Morning, dear,” she smiled at Penny, passing her a plate of eggs and bacon.
“Hi, Harriet.” Penny was now as red as the tomato sauce I was adding to my eggs.
I decided to give them a break. “I had another dead night last night.”
Niko made an excited noise through his mouthful of bacon and flapped his hands a bit to show he had news. We waited patiently while he attempted to swallow. My heart gave a funny lurch of anticipation. I felt my tiredness evaporate.
“I forgot to tell you! I Saw something, last night. A vision thing.”
I coughed on my orange juice. “What did you See?”
“There were a few things, it was all disjointed. The first thing I saw was him- he was sitting in the bush watching the house. But what I noticed, was that it was Summer- the bush was all dry and washed out,” he rushed. “So I thought, maybe he won’t show up until Summer starts again.”
Harriet looked concerned; she glanced at me before saying, “But that’s only a few weeks away. It’s already heating up again.”
“Yeah, but it’s a few weeks we thought we didn’t have awhile ago.” I remarked, brightening considerably.
Harriet frowned disapprovingly. “I don’t think you should stop searching for him though, Niko might be wrong.”
Niko looked affronted and sniffed. “I’ve never been wrong before.”
I coughed loudly and pointed at myself. “Um, hello?”
He glared at me. “Oh, hilarious.”

So you see, I still have a bit of time. Before you come and get me. It looks like I don’t have to try to find you, you know where I am. I hadn’t thought you’d come looking for me, though. Seems I was wrong. Wouldn’t be the first time.
How long will it be? Days, weeks, months? Years? Could it be that Niko saw you watching the house next Summer, not this one coming? Niko said the bush looked dry and colourless, so that could mean now- the heat’s started again and already the grass is fading to a yellowish green. If it is now, I wish you’d just show up so we can get this stupid thing over with. I’m sick of it.

It was nearing dawn, and he knew she would return any minute. He read her words again. “‘If it is now, I wish you’d just show up so we can get this stupid thing over with.’” He sighed. “Is that really what you want?” he whispered, touching the page gently with his fingers.
He was sitting on his bed, the diary that was now shared between them, spread out in front of him. He had read each entry as she had written it, entering the room once she had left it to go outside on her search for him.
Since that night when she had brought him inside, he hadn’t been in a house, let alone this house, for years. But now that he had, it was all he craved. He had wondered at first, if she would notice, if maybe she could tell he had been there, but he had watched each morning after her return, and she did nothing differently. She always looked tired but highly strung after her nights out, and she would curl up on his bed and write her entry in the diary, as he used to. Then she would fall asleep, the pen still in her hand and he would fight the urge to go back, to jump in through the window to read what she’d written. He knew he wouldn’t wake her, he was so quiet. But, after all, it was only one day he had to wait.
It seemed to him that she spoke of him like a long lost friend, someone who she had known long ago, but no longer did now. She also seemed to dwell on his human past, she mentioned it often and it always angered him. He was not human anymore, he hadn’t been for decades. He had left his humanity behind him long ago, forgotten. She kept reminding him, ruthlessly.
Sometimes, he thought she was writing to him, knowing he would read her words. In these times, when his anger was like a hungry void, he had to remind himself that she did not know he was there, invading upon her thoughts.
He sighed. So it would be now, would it? He would grant her wish. He flicked a few pages ahead and picked up her pen.

Some nights, Niko came with me. We would walk soundlessly through the bush, keeping watch, listening. The bush always looked the same, the same colours, the same trees, the same paths. It was like walking through a never ending maze with a prize held at the end. A dangerous prize where winner would take all.
“Have you had any more visions?” I asked, careful to keep my voice low.
“Not really. I’ve been dreaming a lot, but it’s all blurry.”
An owl hooted and we both ducked simultaneously. Glancing at each other in relief, I grinned and stood up.
“So, you and Penny seem pretty cosy these days.” I said slyly, glancing at him sideways.
“Yes.”
“I’m disappointed. What’s the point in teasing if you get no reaction?”
“Sorry about that.” He laughed softly.
He suddenly looked sheepish. “Reckon Harriet knows?”
Incredulous, I raised my eyebrows. “Penny’s been coming out of your room for breakfast each morning for about the last week. Harriet might not say a lot, but I reckon she’s not stupid, either.”
He shook his head slowly, smiling. “It’s unbelievable.”
“Is it?”
He glanced at me. “Well, kind of. I didn’t even know she liked me! You know, she came to see me after that day we-,” he cleared his throat with embarrassment, “-you know. She told me how she felt, anyhow, and I realized I kind of felt the same. I didn’t do anything though, because I still thought I was supposed to be with you, destined, you know? Lucky that wasn’t true, huh?”
I made a non-committal noise in reply. He was still looking at me, expecting a better answer.
“It’s great for you. But I think that was my last shot at romance.” I said glumly.
His sensitive face showed concern and I wished I’d never said anything. He’d stopped walking. He lifted his hand up like he was going to touch my face, but changed his mind and lowered it.
“Someone will find you, Charlotte. They’ll look at you and think, ‘that’s her’. It’ll happen, give it time.”
“Time? Look around us, Nik! How much time do you think I have?”
“Is that was this is about?” he asked softly.
I sighed and rolled my eyes and my own stupidity. I had been portraying the picture of bravery lately, actively searching for my prey, the conqueror. I’d shown my true feelings, hadn’t even bothered to mask the hysteria in my voice.
He grabbed my shoulders and swung me to face him, shaking me gently. “You think you’ll lose.” He accused.
I hadn’t been able to look at him, and I glanced at him now, knowing my face showed defeat.
He let me go, shocked. He knew I’d given in, knew I didn’t believe in myself like I’d fooled them I did. I wondered what he thought of me now.
I squared my shoulders, took a deep breath and steadied myself.
“C’mon, let’s just get this over with.” I said stubbornly, striding forwards into the darkness.
He did not follow me, but as I rounded the bend I heard him yell to me.
“How can you possibly win if you’ve already planned to fail?”
He’d broken all the rules, of course. We always spoke in whispers when we were out together, incase we talked so loud we missed the sounds of an ambush. Anger flooded me- how could he be so careless? I stopped to make sure he was finished and when he yelled nothing further, I went on without him, fighting back angry tears.
It was both scenarios that frightened me. The first was that I knew I would not kill Malachai, and if I refused to kill him, he would certainly kill me. The second was that I was a teenage girl with minimal martial arts training and no experience, up against a creature that was wise, cunning, and a proven killer. What chance did I have?

When I got home, I wasn’t really in the mood for a family breakfast. I grunted a good morning to Harriet and Penny, ignored Niko who was already home and seated at the table, and walked straight through to my bedroom. I didn’t even bother showering, I was too tired. Just lay down on the bed, grabbed the diary and my pen and settled onto the pillows to write.
I filled the first two pages easily enough, rambling on about nothing in particular, just self pity and doubt at the upcoming inevitable battle. I couldn’t really ask for anyone’s sympathy, they’d done what they could for me. Jerry dropped in every now and then to check my fighting skills weren’t getting rusty and to give me encouragement. Taylor felt that with Penny here, his presence wasn’t needed so much, and stayed in his hotel writing notes. Harriet had become a lot less nosy and didn’t say a lot, but she fed me and generally looked after me and I was grateful for that. I was grateful for the lack of questions, too.
Niko had been a bit of a blessing in the fact that now we could be friends without any pressures, we’d found we actually quite liked each other. We got along well- my sense of humour with his awkward, embarrassed nature went well together. We relaxed each other.
I turned to the next page and stared. Slanted black writing took up the first few lines, writing that wasn’t mine.
You want to get it over with. Meet me in the clearing where I first met you. Bring your best weapon, only one. Friday 11pm.

My eyes instinctively flew to the window sill, where I almost expected to see him perched there, watching me. He’d been inside again it seemed, while I wasn’t there. My palms prickled with fear and I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I must admit I got off the bed and searched the room, even under the bed. My childish fear of having something waiting hidden in my room had never really gone away. I went back to the bed and read the message again. With trepidation and another pang of fear I realized that today was Friday. I wondered when he had written this- how long ago?
Slowly, I picked up the pen and, with my hand shaking, began to write. This time I wrote knowing he would read it.

Malachai,

I got your note, I guess I’ll see you at eleven tonight- a bit more warning might have been nice. I hope you’re in shape, I wouldn’t want it to be too easy for me. You’d better bring two weapons, I don’t want to embarrass you.
I didn’t appreciate your note that much, you know. Even though it is still technically your diary, and those things I wrote were directed to you, I never expected you to read them, and now you have. I don’t know about that, it’s a bit uncool of you.
I was thinking back to the night when you were here (and I was here, too), how you mentioned that you’d have left me in the clearing if you’d known what I was- at the time I thought I was going to give birth to the Chosen one, but now I know that I am the Chosen one. How did you know, though?

And I left it at that. I recapped the pen and turned away from the light streaming in through the window, falling instantly asleep. If I had stayed awake for just another hour, I would have seen him come in through the window to prize the diary from my hands and read my words. I would have seen him put the diary on the bedside table and leave the long, narrow box beside it. But I didn’t because I had been searching for evil all through the night and I was exhausted. for just another hour, I would have seen him come in through the window to prize the diary from my hands and read my words. I would have seen him put the diary on the bedside table and leave the long, narrow box beside it. But I didn’t because I had been searching for evil all through the night and I was exhausted.