My Shadow

I lie awake
Praying for it to come
Wishing for it to take me
Yearning for its arms to embrace me
But they don’t.

Yet another day passes
The seconds ticking by agonizingly
Each tick of the clock is like a thousand bullets pelting my skin
Excruciating
Torturous
I wish they were real.

The usual sleepless night
But this time it’s different
I can feel its shadow cross me
I await its solid form eagerly
Yet it disappears in my most hopeful moment
I feel hallow.

Another day has gone by
The same as the last
My shadow’s memory envelops my mind
And I am consumed.

My need is unbearable
Every night my shadow teases me
Getting closer every time
Then leaving when I am all too comfortable.

An all too sunny morning
But it means nothing
Until my shadow visits
It is there one second
It looks at me
It comes to stand in front of me
I reach out to indulge myself in its beauty
It vanishes
I am alone once more.

I toss
I turn
I cannot find peace
I call for my shadow
I wait for an eternity
There will be no answer
I go back to my impossible quest for sleep once more.

My shadow no longer visits
I am left with only vague memories
Why doesn’t my shadow want me?.

He appears before me
My shadow, complete, in all of his painful flawlessness
I am awestruck
Come with me, my love he says in a low breath
It is the most wonderful melody
He pulls me into his arms
I embrace him passionately
I kiss the face of death
I am consumed once more.
Fin.