Letter to you

Melanie, the girl I admire and strive everyday to become

I write you this not for you to read but for myself in hopes that you already know everything I am about to say. You have been my older sister for almost 18 years of my life. Unknowingly many of these years were wasted as I was the obnoxious sibling to which other things came first. It was when you set off to that university 45 minutes away that I was at the age where we could finally grow closer. You were gone when the parents separated but it was like you were there every step of the way. You understood how much harder it was for Matthew and I to deal with. With that I can say you really showed me how great of a sister you really are. You would take time out of your day to never loose contact with any member of the family. It was you who would constantly make attempts to see our amazing mother and keep us together as a unit that had such great potential to fall to pieces. This is one of the many qualities of yours that I will constantly aspire to gain. The values and morals you keep are endless. The qualities you have developed over the years keep me going towards possibly unreachable goals. Melanie from as long as I can remember I saw you as the perfect older sister and perfect child. The way you juggled school with great marks, multiple rep-sports, music and a social life. Needless to say you are also beautiful. To me you had it all and I always felt inferior to you because I never felt I could meet those standards you set as the only other girl. You would often let me escape from my stressful home life as you were aware of the toll it was taking. Done by either a simple phone call or a weekend visit, with me-your kid sister. There was always those odd things we didn't agree upon but in turn you taught me so much, especially how to be a truly cool person. Showed me wear to shop and what to buy. In grade 11 you were the one who really helped me and gave me that little push to get a real part-time job. If you were not there on the phone with me before and after I dropped of my resume, I gave the follow-up phone call and my first interview I can openly say I would not have done as well as I did. Originally, as a consistently mediocre student, I never really planned on graduating on time because I didn't think I could. Both of our brothers didn't either so at that point I didn't really feel the pressure. By the time grade 12 rolled around, I was sick of being the only child and as you were the one who was accepted to every university I felt I needed to do the same. I took 5 courses at once in order to receive my diploma and have never worked as hard in school in my life. I wanted to reach that 87% average that you once did. Now I have reached this. Which I feel is the only goal in my life I have truly accomplished. I was accepted to every school. I was accepted to one of the best writing programs in Canada and this was because of you. With all of this happening you were in another continent. The day I heard you were moving to England I was broken. It was hard on me because of how much I love you and need you. But I wanted you to follow your own dreams and experience what you needed to experience as you would always do the same for me. When the day came of your departure my life was in shambles. Endless amounts of tears from the airport, all the way home and well into the night as I listened to your records on the record player you passed on to me. You trusted me with your treasured CD collection which I have begun to dig into as a constant reminder that you're my sister and always will be. When dad was making the attempt to scare me out of following my dreams in a different province- accepting the offer from the university I worked so hard to get into, the distance between us once again disappeared. You confronted our father and aided me in one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. There are things I've never told you in the past. Those I did not tell you are in no way because I do not trust you but because I love you too much to worry you. You have always had the option to be an absent sister and have never taken that route. Ultimately I'd like to thank you for who I've become- the best parts of me have come from you.

With love
Margaret